MarySue: A Comedy
by DaAlCh
Summary: In this chapter: The true villains are revealed, someone dies, Hilda time travels, and F.W.W.T.M.B. have to save Roran's life with a scalpel and a knife. Don't miss it.
1. The Really Bad Beginning

CP was writing the third book when it happened.

The Burning Plains are a depressing place, especially when you are fighting a war on them. They are even more depressing when you have little food, the temperature is 100 degrees and you are wearing armor. Times were tough.

The men in the Varden camp were weary and lethargic. It seemed as though every second in the hazy heat of the plains sucked the energy right out of them. Two of them were literally collapsed upon the ground, the daily efforts to much for them. A robed figure passed them.

Then the dubious happened. (Love that word)

The men sat up with surprising speed, and with inconceivable speed, looked around, gingerly hopped up and walked away, talking animatedly.

Around them, the same effect was being observed all over the Varden camp.

CP looked at what had just been typed upon his computer screen, seeing what was happening to the third book of the Inheritance Trilogy, and managed to gabble out two words.

"Oh CRAP!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer; I do not own the Inheritance Trilogy, or any other thing I make references to. I do own any characters that I say are mine. Obviously.

I decided to make this because I have been nurturing this idea for a fic for a long time. I have wanted to make fun of Mary-Sues and all aspects of them and their stories. So here it is. I hope you enjoy this new fic that will actually been something other than a one-shot.

WARNING; If you are allergic to Mary Sues and witty comebacks, this fanfic is not for you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Looks I have some competition." muttered Arya.

She had observed what had happened to all the Varden around her, and her elven scenes immediately deduced what was happening. She knew the infestation would have to be destroyed, but she couldn't risk having anyone find out, or worse, meet, IT.

This problem would have to be dealt with subtly and delicacy, if not, the entire Inheritance Franchise would be affected, first she would have to find a way to make sure the main characters didn't find out about this new problem, and then-

BLAM!

The doors on the fourth wall burst open. CP was standing in the doorway and had a facial expression on his face that looked like bloodlust. He screamed and yelled;

"WHO PUT THE MARY-SUE IN MY STORY!!!!"

"A Mary-sue? In this story? You must be joking." said Eragon as he stared at his perfect face in the mirror while combing is already impeccable hair.

"WELL SOMEBODY IS PUTTING A PERFECTION INTO THE THIRD BOOK, SO WHO IS IT!!???"

"First off, stop yelling, it hurts my delicate eardrums." said Eragon in a voice that had a 'I am superior to you' undertone.

"I'M NOT YELLING, YOU LITTLE-"

Arya put a hand up, CP stopped yelling. "Good. Now, what do you suppose we do about this girl?"

Eragon looked up and said. "I told you it can't be a Mary-sue!"

Roran took a step toward Eragon, "He is right you know, there isn't any substantial evidence for us to come to a conclusion that there is a Mary-Sue in the story, just because there is a perfection radiating out from a mysterious hooded person we do not know the identity to yet, that does not give us reason to suspect that a Mary-sue has managed to escape out of..." He turned his head, and looked around the room, then continued. "THAT place."

Murmurs of agreement filled the room.

CP's computer beeped on and said; "I-hate-to-break-it-to-you, but-we-are-in-THAT-place. The-probability-of-a-Mary-Sue-infestation-is-very-high. Unfortunately."

Silence filled the room, then everyone yelled in unison two words;

"Oh CRAP!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside in the pale moonlight, the hooded figure took of her hood, revealing a beautiful face beyond imagination. Her eyes were like deep pools into the night sky. Even in the darkness, you could tell she had unusually colored eyes. Her hair was as white as snow, and she had not a wrinkle on her perfect face. She had the toughness of a human, the beauty of an elf, and the fierceness of a dragon. You could tell that just by looking at her. And on her palm was the silver gedwey ignasia, glowing in the darkness.

In other words, any way you looked at it, she was Mary Sue.

Uh Oh.

To be continued……


	2. The Unusual Suspects, Part One

alsdssg- Thank you! I put in the Uh Oh to make it emphasis the horror of a Mary-Sue. And I was very careful about which words CP would type, I didn't want to offend anyone…. Thanks again for the review!

daydreamin' angel- Thank you for the review and for putting me on your favorite authors list! You make me feel so proud of myself -wipes tear from eye- I am updating soon just for you!

dreamgirlhoo- Thank you too for the review! I wasn't actually sure that this would tickle people's funny bones, but apparently it did. So drinks all around to everyone who reviewed!

Miz Turwaithiel- Well where do I begin? You probably won't read this, but still. Now, my spell-check says that there are no spelling errors in my story. So either my spell-check is wrong, or you are mistaken. My other point is that you should always say WHY a story isn't good if you give it a bad review. You say my story wasn't funny, Why? Saying that my 'spelling' is the only reason why my story 'sucks' isn't good enough. Give me a detailed bad review filled to the brim with constructive criticism. Who knows, we may just have different tastes of humor. So please, next time you give me a bad review, use your brains cells.

And a spheshul thanks to Dizzy, Invaderm (And Chris McFeely, for other reasons.) for reviewing!!! (I don't really write special that way, that spelling is just for humor reasons only.)

Disclaimer- I do not own Inheritance. So don't sue me, or else my Mary Sue will come to attack you, and you will not stand against her perfect perfection. Don't say I didn't warn you….

Here it is… Chapter two of my Mary Sue fic. Or actually the first chapter, because the last chapter was sort of like a prologue. Whatever, I hope you enjoy this much longer chapter of Mary Sue: A Comedy.

You know what is funny? The day I started writing this chapter, we had a discussion in The Harry Potter club at school about Mary Sues… and thanks to my fellow clubbers I have many more ideas for this story….. But anyways… I want to thank all of my reviewers and DragonKnightTara for influencing me to update. So here it is!

The Unusual Suspects, Part One

Chapter 2 of Mary Sue: A Crossover.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh CRAP!"

After these two words, the room erupted into chaos. CP had prepared his characters for many things, but not for this.

"What are we gonna DO??!!"

"How will we get rid of her?"

"I like bananas!"

"I suggest we delete this story!"

"I don't care if you like bananas!"

"NO!"

"You still haven't answered my question!"

"We could hire an assassin…."

"But I LOVE her!"  
"BANANAS!"

"You haven't even MET her!"

"Or bring in another Mary Sue…..

"But she's spheshul!!!"

"…So that the two sues will…."

"I WANT BANANAS!!!!!"

"….cancel each other out."

"This is making no sense!"

"WHAT?"

"I will not let you kill her!"

"I said…."

"IF I DON'T GET A BANANA I WILL-"

Arya put her hand up, CP stopped yelling. The rest of them however kept right on yelling.

"….this is making no sense!"

"Oh….."

"You have to let her go…"

"NO!"

"This is still crazy, you didn't help."

"Oh come on Roran!"

"I wasn't trying to help, I was trying to stop this-"

"NO NO NO NO! I DON'T WANNA!"

"Oh great now Roran is acting like a baby!"

"That's not my fault Eragon!"

"Eragon, as your liege, I demand you bonk Roran on the head to stop him!"

"But…"

"DO IT!"

The sound of a whack was heard, followed shortly by a thud. The yelling stopped. Eragon, Nasuada and Orik were all standing there, with their hands massaging their throats. Roran was lying on the ground unconscious, and CP and Arya were standing over at the side of the room.

Arya walked over to the sink, got two aspirin, ate them, then got a bottle of water and drank it down. When she was done, she spoke to them all in a clear voice, "We need to find out who put in the Mary Sue in the story in a orderly manner, first we must look at the evidence and see who the possible suspects are. Then, we make our move."

Everyone in the room nodded.

Arya looked around the room, and then said, "Now, any questions?"

Orik raised a hand. Arya nodded her head to him. In a loud, deep, and thickly accented Scottish accent, "Milady, this is more of a comment than a question." He paused, she let him continue, "I think that impudent lad DaAlCh put the Sue in the story."

Eragon and Nasuada both began nodding their heads. Arya pondered at this statement. CP was eating a banana, and Roran was still unconscious.

After a little while, Arya asked, "All right, who votes that it was DaAlCh that put the Sue in the story?"

Eragon, Nasuada, Orik, and Roran (His arm was being held up by Nasuada.) raised their hands. CP continued to eat his banana.

"All righty then, who wants to interrogate him?"

No one raised their hands.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later, it was decided that the best way to decide was to conduct such a horrible decision was to draw straws. Whoever drew the short one, was the one who would interrogate DaAlCh.

Arya got six sticks, cut one of them, and put all of them in her hand. Everyone grabbed one, except Roran, who was still unconscious. Arya looked around. "All right, at the count of three, one…. Two…. THREE!"

……but nobody got the short stick. Arya looked at the remaining stick in her hand, and lo and behold it was the short one.

Silence filled the room.

"………………..well…. I guess the unconscious lad is goin' to interrogate DaAlCh, ain't he?"

"But he's unconscious……"

"Well, we will have to do SOMETHING. Fair is fair."

"I know……"

"I have an idea…….."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few minutes later, the only ones in the room were CP, Arya, Nasuada and Orik.

"Does anyone actually think that they will be able to get the information we need?"

Silence.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon was carrying an unconscious Roran to the elusive DaAlCh's house. He propped Roran up by holding him under the armpits, lifting him a few inches of the ground, and then walked. All in all it was not that convincing of a disguise but it would do.

Eragon managed to shift Roran's weight to his right side so he could ring the doorbell, with a grunt he reached out, and pushed the button. Then he quickly put Roran back in front of him.

A view screen on the door appeared, showing a dark figure, before a dark background, in a dark room. You could hear something vaguely reminiscent of Darth Vader's breathing in the background. The figure looked up, and said "What is your business here, Mortal?"

Eragon cleared his throat, and attempted to sound like Roran. "We are here to speak with DaAlCh."

The front door opened ominously all on it's own accord. "Enter." said the Vader look-a-like on the view screen.

Eragon and Roran enter, and the door shut behind them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what should we do?"

Orik, Arya, CP and Nasuada were all debating on how they should discover the identity of 'The Creator' while Eragon and Roran were away.

Not much progress had been made in the past few hundred words, and tempers were beginning to fray.

A knock on the door interrupted everyone's thoughts.

"Enter."

Angela walked in the room, with a paper in her hand. When she got to the four, she stopped and said. "I believe I have the solution to this UMS."

There was a pause, and then; "What the hell is a UMS?"

"An Unidentified Mary Sue"

Arya's eyes narrowed, "How do you know about this Sue?"

"I know many things." Angela's eyes scanned the room. "Yeah, so just read this, it has all the information you need." She then walked out of the room, and into Character Limbo. (A.K.A: Where Galby has been the entire Trilogy.)

Arya held the paper, CP looked over her head, Nasuada looked over her right shoulder, and Orik on her left shoulder.

The paper read:

WAL-MART PRESENTS:

CHEAP DETECTIVE

ALREADY HAS A MASTER'S DEGREE, COMETENT, AND FUNNY, ORDER RIGHT AWAY.

USE FOR BAD MYSTERYS, WHODUNITS, MURDERS, OR REGULAR FANFICTION.

NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HEADACHES HE CAUSES, SHIPS IN A WOODEN BOX SHAPED LIKE A CUBE WITH ONE (1) AIRHOLE. $1.25 AN HOUR, NOT INCLUDING SHIPING AND HANDLING.

"We are NOT going to get something from Wal-Mart to help us are we?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh was working on chapter two of his fanfic when Roran came barging into his room.

"DaAlCh."

"Roran."

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"About a Mary Sue."

A bolt of lighting flashed outside of the window. And an ominous drumbeat began, after the music was done, DaAlCh continued.

"I hate Mary Sues."

Another bolt of lighting flashed outside the window, the music started up again, and after it was done Roran continued.

"You Do?"

"Yes."

"Oh… Well, then what were you doing on the computer."

"Fan fiction stuff."

"Were you writing, or reading."

"Writing."

"Can I read it?"

"Sure."

Eragon, threw Roran on the floor, and began reading.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh was working on chapter two of his fanfic when Roran came barging into his room.

"DaAlCh."

"Roran."

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

"About a Mary Sue."

A bolt of lighting flashed outside of the window. And an ominous drumbeat began, after the music was done, DaAlCh continued.

"I hate Mary Sues."

Another bolt of lighting flashed outside the window, the music started up again, and after it was done Roran continued.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Oh… Well, then what were you doing on the computer."

"Fan fiction stuff."

"Were you writing, or reading."

"Writing."

"Can I read it?"

"Sure."

Eragon, threw Roran on the floor, and began reading.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon blinked, looked up from the bit of fan fiction he just read, then said. "Whoa….. I must had some déjà vu or something, because I swear I just experienced the same event twice just now."

DaAlCh risked rolling his eyes at the fourth wall for a second, then turned back to Eragon.

"May I ask why Roran is unconscious?"

Eragon realized that his cover was blown. He looked a Roran, who was mumbling something. He turned to DaAlCh with his hands on his hips and said "Look I just want to know if you have put a Mary Sue-"

A flash of lighting, followed by a Dun Dun DUNNNNN by some drums.

"-Inside the story."

DaAlCh didn't respond.

"Well?"

DaAlCh looked up, opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"Have you???!!!!!!!"

DaAlCh finally got the words out. "Alright, I can say that I-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At exactly that same moment, the Detective from Wal-Mart arrived.

A few minutes ago, CP called Wal-Mart because A) He was the only with a phone. And B) He was the only one with an ID.

A ding dong from the door signaled the arrival of the Detective.

Arya got up… walked to the door, opened it, and looked at the box.

True to the pamphlet's words, it was a large, wooden, cube-shaped box with one air hole. Orik walked up to it with his axe, swung it, and the box split in two revealing a rather shabby looking detective.

Nasuada whispered to CP under her breath. "I know we couldn't trust Wal-Mart."

The Detective stood up, and looked around at the four of them.

"Which one of you is Christopher Paolini?"

CP walked forward.

"Detective Vice at you service."

Nasuada whispered to Orik under her breath "I could have sworn I have heard that joke before…"

CP thought for a moment. Then spoke, "Do you have a first name?"

"Duh."

"That we can call you."

"Plot."

Nasuada whispered to Arya under her breath now "Yes I am sure of it, this isn't an original joke!"

Arya turned at her. "What do you mean?"

Nasuada looked at her excitedly. "THAT joke is from ANOTHER fanfic!"

Meanwhile CP and Detective Plot Vice were discussing his name.

"What kind of a name is plot?"

"Well my full name is Plot D. Vice."

Canned laughter appeared from out of nowhere.

"Yes, Detective Vice at your service. My good sir, now what mystery do you want me to solve?"

"I am not sure I will be able to tell you the whole story." CP told him while fiddling with his hands.

"Why not?"

"Well Detective…" CP looked nervous. "The chapter is almost done."

The Detective's eyes glared. "Don't you know my warranty only lasts for one chapter! You hired me in THIS chapter! I won't be any good next chapter! Don't you know that not only does Wal-Mart have low prices, they have low quality things! Don't you read the fine print!???!!!"

Out of the sky a voice boomed down at them.

"YOUR WARRANTY WILL BE FINE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER MORTAL."

Silence.

"YOUR WARRANTY WILL BE FINE BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS MERELY A TWO PARTER! SO STOP COMPLAINING!"

"Who… who…. WHO ARE YOU!" Shouted CP at the sky.

There was a pause.

"THE CREATOR."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The last who words resonated all around the Varden camp, allowing the Mary Sue listen her Master's Voice.

She opened her mouth, revealing whiter that white teeth, she mumbled, but the words still came out in musical tones.

"Father….."

"I am sorry for not giving you a larger role in this chapter my dear, but this chapter just got so long that halfway through I had to make it a two parter."

"I understand father." She sniffed, "It's just that… I don't understand why everyone hates me because I'm perfect."

"Don't worry my dear… it will all be okay when you wake up next chapter."

"Really?"

"Yes… Now, all good things must come to an end, and I am afraid we have come to the end of Part One. Stay glued to your computer for part two which will come out next weekend wether you like it or not. So there."

To be continued….


	3. The Unusual Suspects, Part Two

Alsdssg- I am afraid I can't answer that right now, because the whole point of this two parter was to reveal who "The Creator" is. (Hint hint, nudge nudge.) Yes, that joke is funny is? And it is from another fanfic, but I made sure to give the creator of that pun some credit in the last chapter. And you have two songs in your head? Ouch. I hope they go away.

Azulcat- Thanks for the two reviews! I love putting cliffhangers in my stories, I love the reaction I get. :)

And thank you Ebz and Invaderm for reviewing!!!!!

Disclaimer- I do not own Eragon, it belongs to CP. Plot. D. Vice and Character Limbo is property of Chris McFeely. However I own my Mary Sue, so don't steal her, or else I'll "Sue" you. And Darth Vader belongs to George Lucas.

And now I humbly present……

The Unusual Suspects, Part Two

Chapter Two of….

Mary Sue: A Company

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Detective Vice was thinking of a way to move the plot along.

You see, after "The Creator" yelled from out of the sky and forced him to stay in the fic for the length of the two parter. He decided to stay in the fic. But because the next chapter of the fic didn't come out for another week, he had to deal with the accommodations Wal-Mart provided him.

In other words, he had to stay in his wooden box.

While he was in his wooden box, he thought of potential suspects.

First, he wrote down all the names of authors who wrote stories in the Eragon section. But after that….. The trail ran cold, he would have to wait until this 'Eragon' fellow managed to get some more information out of this guy name DaAlCh. (Who he learned had four stories on fan I can say that I would never create a real Mary Sue." DaAlCh finally answered.

"Oh." Eragon sighed. He was so sure that DaAlCh would be the creator, I mean, all the evidence pointed to it…. But it turned out someone else was the creator!

DaAlCh spoke again, "And I will say that I will help you in your quest to find this "Creator" and I will help Detective Vice find out who the "Creator" is."

"Thanks DaAlCh." With a sigh, Eragon turned and left, he picked up Roran off the floor and dragged him across the house. He could not believe that he just wasted so much time of the fanfic trying to prove that DaAlCh was the creator. It turned out that DaAlCh was actually trying to stop the Mary Sue. He said so! He said that he would never create a real Mary Sue, and would help Detectiv-

Wait……

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the dark confines of his room, (They weren't actually that dark, the creator just wanted to give you the feeling of mysteriousness.) The creator pressed a button, and spoke to the microphone at the fanfic he was writing.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WELL, HOW GOES YOUR PROGRESS, MORTAL."

Detective Vice looked up, and realized that the voice of the creator sounded an awful lot like Darth Vader's. He gulped and began to speak when all of a sudden in a rather vexed voice, the creator spoke again.

"DO NOT WORRY THAT MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE LORD VADER'S, JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION."

The Detective opened his mouth again, and again the creator cut him off.

"I AM WAITING FOR YOUR ANSWER MORTAL."

Detective Vice opened his mouth again, but this time didn't say anything, when he was sure that the creator would not interrupt him, he started to speak.

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!"

Detective Vice yelled up to the voice, "I'M TRYING! You keep interrupting!"

A pause.

"OOPS."

"I am thinking of authors from fan who have posted stories in the Eragon section, but after that the trail goes cold."

Another pause.

"USE THIS, THIS IS A LIST OF AUTHORS WHO HAVE ALL REVIEWED A STORY THAT IS RATHER… SUSPICIOUS, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHO THE AUTHOR, I WILL DEAL WITH THE AUTHOR MYSELF."

"Wait a minute," Detective Vice muttered. "But you are the creator! Why are you going to deal with the author of a Mary Sue fic! And why are you helping me find out who "The creator" is, when YOU are the creator! And why are you helping me, because you are actually helping your Mary Sue's downfall?"

A third pause.

"IT DOES SEEM STRANGE, I KNOW. BUT IN REALITY, THAT SUE IS JUST ANOTHER PAWN IN MY GREAT GAME OF CHESS, THE ONLY REASON WHY I CREATED HER WAS TO CREATE AN INTERESTING FANFIC, USE THE LIST, MAKE MANY PEOPLE LAUGH, AND I WILL BE HAPPY."

A fourth pause.

"OR ELSE."

There was a flash of lighting and a crack of thunder. The Detective sighed, he had a lot of work to do, he looked at the first name on the list, and decided to email the address on the list and- He did a double take, what was SHE doing on the list?!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon led Roran down the stairs, he was debating whether or not to turn back. DaAlCh had just said something that didn't really add up… DaAlCh had just said something about a Detective Vice… but how would he know about Vice? Eragon knew for a fact that DaAlCh never shopped at Wal-Mart…. He himself never did either… so how would DaAlCh know about the detective? And more importantly, how did he know about the detective?

"What are you doing here, mortal? You were suppose to leave five minutes ago." Eragon turned to see the guy dressed in a Vader helmet, with a t-shirt and boxer shorts on. The guy had hairy legs too.

Scary.

Eragon was at a loss for words, then, the Vader-not-so-look-alike reached out and twisted his fingers.

Eragon began choking, he reached up to his throat in an attempt to get himself to breath again, and- "What are you doing?"

Roran had conveniently woken up, and was looking at his cousin in disbelief. Eragon undid the collar of the shirt and looked down at Roran. "The collar on my shirt was to tight, I had to get it looser. But what were YOU doing?" Eragon looked at the Vader-not-so-look-alike.

"I'm trying to snap my fingers at you for not answering my question right away, I've never been able to snap my darn fingers." With that, the Vader-not-so-look-alike examined his hand.

Roran called out to the Vader-not-so-look-alike. "Maybe it would help if you took off that big black glove!"

Vader looked at the big bulky glove on his hand and said, "Oh yes, that WOULD help wouldn't it? Thank you so much, I don't know how to thank you." Vader looked at them, then at the door. He cleared his throat and then yelled, "NOW BEGONE, FOOLISH MORTALS!"

Eragon looked down, then said "Well, I just thought of something I needed to tell DaAlCh. Can we go back upstairs?"

"I AM AFRAID LORD DAALCH IS BUSY AT THE MOMENT, THE NEXT TIME YOU CAN BOOK AN APPOINTMENT IS-"

Roran looked at Eragon. 'an appointment?" He mouthed at Eragon, then turned back to Vader.

"FIVE MINUTES FROM NOW."

Eragon spluttered and splerted. "Five MINUTES! We are already over 1200 words through the chapter, we don't have for five minutes of waiting around! We need to talk to DaAlCh NOW!"

Roran jumped in. "Yeah, and nothing you do will make us leave!"

Before they knew it, both of them were sprawled out over the front doorstep, as Vader closed the door behind them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A single light bulb lit up the room. It was connected to a chain and was dangling above a small metal chair. The only other two pieces of furniture in the room was a rather large imposing desk and a big imposing chair. And sitting on that imposing chair was…

Detective Vice!

In the small chair sat Alsdssg.

"Now…" interrogated the detective. "We can make this easy or difficult, which do you choose?"

A pause, before Alsdssg said "The easy way please."

"Alright… Did you or did you not review to the fan story, Mary Sue: A Comedy?"

"I did, twice."

"Then does that mean you enjoy Mary Sue fics?" Vice leaned in realllllllyyyy close. Then said, "Does it?"

"No of course not, in my first review I wrote "Uh Oh indeed." I'm really not a fan of sue fics, besides, THAT fanfic is really only a Mary Sue spoof fanfic, not a real fanfic. You don't have to worry about me being "The Creator" I don't know who the creator is, I only have suspicions. Now if you will excuse me, I have three songs stuck in my head. Good bye." And with that, Alsdssg got up and walked out of the story.

Detective Vice stroked his chin, he pulled out his pipe, lit it, and then muttered in a low voice. "Indeed…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon sat up, and realized what had just happened. He then decided to call the group with his cell phone. He had news to tell, he had reasons to believe now that DaAlCh was indeed the creator.

He dialed the CP's phone number, and waited for the phone to start ringing, Roran was out cold, again. All Eragon could do now was wait.

Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.

Finally someone answered. "Hello?" said Eragon into the phone.

"Hi!" Said Angela cheerfully on the other side of the phone.

"Huh?" Said Eragon, of all the people who would possibly answer CP's phone, he sure didn't expect her to answer. But he gathered himself quickly and then continued. "I… was just wondering where CP was… but if he isn't there that's fine… I can give you the information but you will have to relay it to Arya or Nasuada, okay."

Angela laughed, then spoke in a sing-song voice. "CP isn't here right now… He's… busy. And why should I give the information to Arya or Nasuada?"

This took Eragon aback. "Well…" He said in a slow voice, "Because Arya is the ambassador to the elves… and Nasuada is the leader of the Varden… they NEED to know this?"

Angela laughed again, then continued once again, "I know that, but why can't I know this 'information' my dear?"

Dear? Eragon had to admit she was starting to worry him. This time however, he could not get the words out. So Angela decided to jump in and say…

"Look, if you give me… $100, I'll relay the info back to Arya and Nasuada, okay kid?"

Silence.

Then; "WHAT!"

Angela just smiled on her end of the phone.

Eragon spluttered and splerted once again. "Th- This is BLACKMAIL! How dare you-"

"Why yes it is, but I still want you to give me a hundred bucks got that? Send it over as a check, or else I'll wallop you, so now, give me the info."

Wearily, Eragon started to babble out his suspicions to Angela, while opening up his check book and making a check out for a hundred dollars to Angela.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Detective Vice looked over his new vict- suspect with suspicion. She said her name was Azulcat… but he didn't entirely trust her. He hated cats, especially blue ones.

He sighed and said his suspicions, "Now, would you like to this the easy way or the hard way?"

A second's pause, then she said, "The easy way of course."

He sighed, again, and wondered why so many of his suspects were taking the easy way, but he forced out of his head and continued on, "Now, you said you have reviewed this 'story' twice now, is this true?"

She nodded her head slowly, "Yes…….." She said slowly.

"And in your reviews," His eyes glittered menacingly, "You said it was a 'great story', why?"

"Well…. It IS a great story…. I mean it's funny… it's well written…."

Detective Vice nodded, he was fuming, plan A was shot down like a balloon, now it was time to bring out the other evidence. He loomed over her and said, "And, you also said that you wanted the author to update soon, is this true?"

"Yes it is, it is a great story, and I want to read some more of it." She said in a matter-of-fact voice "And while we are one the subject, why would I be "The Creator" when I am asking "The Creator" to update? I mean, come on…"

A pause.

"Oh"

Azulcat stood up and spoke crisply. "Now Detective, am I free to go?"

"Yes…." He said this rather distractedly.

Azulcat marched across the room, opened the door and exited. Now the detective was alone in the room, and running out of suspects…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angela walked to (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) In hopes of finding (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) When she finally arrived, she opened the door and found herself in a room.

After Eragon told her his suspicions of DaAlCh being the creator, she too and gotten very interested in finding out the answer to this mystery. Eragon had raised some very interesting questions that had no answer. For instance, DaAlCh spoke of Detective Vice, but how would DaAlCh know who Detective Vice was? (No one knew how Eragon knew who Detective Vice was either…) DaAlCh had never met Detective Vice, he never shopped at Wal-Mart, so he should not know who the Detective was unless he had written the story…

Eragon also told her that DaAlCh said that "He would never create a real Mary Sue…" Does that mean he would create a spoof Mary Sue? Either way, all the evidence was pointing to DaAlCh.

Now, more about that room she was in… It was another dark room, lit by a single rightful dangling from the ceiling. And this time there were many dozens of chairs, all with hooded figures occupying them.

She walked to the 'leaders' of the shadowy group, and pulled of the hood of one of them. It was CP.

"Now," said Angela firmly, "I have a lot of news to tell you, seeing as you weren't there to answer the phone. If only you weren't so busy with your (CENSORED FOR SECURITY REASONS) Now, if you would let me sit down…"

And so, Angela relayed all of the information sent by Eragon to CP, Arya and Nasuada.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a few minutes of talking, Angela stopped to let the three of them soak all of the newly found information in. Not that it was surprising news, but it was bad news nonetheless.

CP put his hood back on, and stood up to the mass of humming, hooded figures. (They all had candles in their hands by the way) Arya and Nasuada did the same.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," CP addressed to the crowd. "It seems we have narrowed down who the creator is to only a few suspects. With Vice's help we will be able to rid the world of the Mary Sues once and for all, we will rise and attack any one who will, or ever has brought a Mary Sue into the world!"

Sensation in the room!

Behind him, Angela leaned over to Nasuada and whispered, "Wouldn't CP have to attack himself then for bringing…" She pointed to Arya, "Her into the world?"

They both giggled.

CP sat down beside them and said, "What?"

Nasuada leaned over to CP and said, "I have looked up to see where the unoriginal jokes are coming from, if my hypothesis is correct, that means "The Creator" is to busy with his Mary Sue to think of original jokes!"

A pause.

"And………?"

Nasuada continued. "The jokes are coming from the Digimon Encyclopedia, a site which has almost 40 humor fanfics on it!"

Angela cut Nasuada off by saying. "Yes, DaAlCh did say that he would never create a Mary Sue, but what about a spoof one, do you think that it is possible he got some of his spoof-sue jokes FROM that website?"

CP nodded, "It's entirely possible."

Arya nodded too and said, "Whoever the creator is, one thing for sure, we are closing in."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The meeting adjourned, and all the cloaked figures left the room. We focus in on one cloaked figure in particular, who walks a bit away from the rest of the figures. The hooded figure turns a corner, while all the others continue on walking straight ahead. As we near the figure she lifts her hood, and reveals her self as the great and terrible Mary Sue!

She obviously was frightened, seeing as she had just witnessed a meeting where the final solution was to eradicate all of the Mary Sue's and there creators. She had to contact her creator, or else both of them were doomed.

Using the power of the ancient language, she opened a portal between the two worlds so she could talk to her father. She had to bring him the news, but little did she know, he already knew everything.

"Father…" she uttered at the door between the worlds, her eyes reflecting all the light that came from the portal.

"My dear, you have brought me with news." Said the creator in a deep voice that sort of sounded like James Earl Jones.

"How did you-"

"I know many things young one, fear not, I already know what they plan to do…. Fear not, I have it all under control…" Said the creator in his pseudo-deep voice.

"What should I do?"

"I will be busy in a moment, so you will have to excuse me soon, but I am going to be contacted by a young man named Eragon very soon, he is meddling in my affairs. You must distract him, so that my path to victory will be clear. Do you under stand daughter?"

"Yes father, I understand completely." She said looking down, you could almost physically feel all the outpouring of emotion radiating from her as she closed the portal. She had a lot of work to do, but she did not know how to do it. No matter, she thought as she walked in the direction of the other hooded figures, my superior skills will aide me in distracting this 'Eragon.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the other end of the portal, The Creator had turned off the portal from his computer, maximized the web and continued to look at the website he was looking at before she called him. There was a knock on the door.

"Enter." Said The Creator.

The door opened, and through it walked Eragon dragging along and unconscious Roran, Eragon looked at The Creator.

"Hello DaAlCh." Said Eragon.

To Be Continued…


	4. The Unusual Suspects, Part Three

Alsdssg- Yes, I thought it would be a smarter to create a spoof-sue, instead of a real sue. For obvious reasons. I hope you enjoyed your cameo.

Azulcat- And I hope you enjoyed yours also! Oh and don't worry about them getting rid of the Sue just yet, we are just getting started!

Daydreamin' angel- Don't feel sad for her just yet… she will have a LOT of friends, really soon. Yes, her father really is mean isn't he? Don't worry about him just yet.

Mysterwriter221- Well thank you for joining my reviewer list! Don't worry, our sue has many friends, and yes, there is an infestation going on… but I won't tell you what in spawning just yet. Hope to see another review from you!

Thank you to Ebz for reviewing! (again)

An Announcement: I will have other cameos in the story of fan authors. If you are not a fan author, there isn't a good chance for you to get a cameo. My reason for this: I want to make sure you are over 13 before I let you into my story. I just want to keep the fic secure, that is all.

Disclaimer: If you don't "Sue" me, I won't "Sue" you. Simple.

And Now I humbly present….

The Unusual Suspects

Chapter Four of MarySue: A Corporation.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon and DaAlCh looked at each other.

Eragon shook his head and rubbed his eyes. It was like he had been staring at DaAlCh for several months.

"Sorry about that." DaAlCh said.

"For what?"

"For keeping us staring at each other for the past several months."

"It's okay." Eragon said, "Now, back to business."

There was a pause.

……….

"Well?" DaAlCh said.

Eragon opened his mouth, then closed it again. He finally managed to say. "I forgot."

DaAlCh rolled his eyes.

"WELL IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT UPDATING. IF YOU UPDATED SOONER I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED YOU LITTLE-" Eragon began yelling.

DaAlCh raised his hand. Eragon stopped yelling. DaAlCh looked at him straight in the eye and said "First of all, stop yelling. It's… unbecoming of you."

"I'M NOT YELLING YOU SICK SON OF A-"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the Burning Plains the other main characters were talking to Detective Vice.

"Well," Detective Vice said while he paced. "I have figured out one thing." He took a deep breath and then continued. "The Creator is not one of the reviewers." He looked up at the group, looking hopeful.

A pause.

"We already figured that one out on our own." Arya said bluntly.

"Haven't you done anything more?" Orik said.

"Useless." Nasuada stated.

CP looked back at his characters, then turned to Detective Vice. "I am afraid to say that they are right, we already knew it wasn't the reviewers. Haven't you figured out ANYTHING else?" He looked down and whispered at the ground. "Never buy from Wal-Mart again."

"Well." Detective Vice said, taking out his wallet, "Because you are firing me, your total is $1420, or if you are British, 630 pounds, or if you are French, 956.27 euro, or if you are Japanese, 149,767.2 yen, or if-"

CP held up a hand impatiently. "Wait, you said that you only charge $1.25 an hour, so how come we have a huge total?"

"Because…" The Detective said impatiently, "I have been in this story for two whole months, that is a lot of time, which is why you have a huge total. So pay now in cash, or else I bring out the lawyers."

"NO!"

"Yes."

Arya spluttered. "Not… Not the lawyers!"

The Detective looked at her sadly. "I am afraid so."

Orik tugged at the Detective's belt. "But they are the source of all evil in the universe! Don't do it, you don't want to!"

"Wait a minute…" Nasuada muttered. "I think I know a way out of this jam."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon was pacing around the room. He still hadn't remembered what he was suppose to talk to DaAlCh about. Roran on the other hand, was on the floor drooling.

DaAlCh looked down at Eragon's unconscious cousin, "Maybe you should get him to see a doctor."

Eragon spun around. "Shut up! I almost had it then."

"Sure you did."

DaAlCh shut up, and Eragon continued to pace, all the while muttering to himself. "What was it, what was… I know it had to deal with…. Somebody… but…"

"Hey!" DaAlCh interjected, "Have you read my fifth story the Bond's of Humanity?"

Eragon spun around again. "Nooo…." He said peeved. "I didn't read it, and why are you talking about a different story on this one?"

DaAlCh shrugged. "I figured it could use some advertising."

Eragon paused. "What do you mean?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BONDS OF HUMANITY

READ AND REVIEW NOW!

EARTH/ERAGON CROSSOVER

NO MARY SUES!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey…. Wait a minute… THAT'S what I was going to talk to you about!" Eragon turned around to face DaAlCh again, then took a step closer. "Why have you created a Mary Sue and put in Christopher Paolini's story?"

Eragon leaned in really close to DaAlCh's face, and said. "Well?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DING DONG

CP pushed the doorbell at DaAlCh's house. Nasuada had reasoned that it was DaAlCh's fault for not updating the story, which therefore gave them a huge total to pay to Detective Vice. So the four of them, plus Vice who wanted his money, were standing at DaAlCh's doorstep.

The door opened and Vader looked out.

"Who goes there?" He looked them over. "A man, and elf and a dwarf. Why have you come?"

"Actually three." Muttered Nasuada.

CP said in the most impressive voice he could muster. "We have come to speak to DaAlCh. Lord… ah… Vader."

"Let's see… who are you?"

Arya stepped forward and said. "I am Arya, princess of DuWeldenVarden, this is Nasuada leader of the Varden, Orik, who is the heir the throne of the Dwarves, Detective Plot. D. Vice who works for Wal-Mart, and Christopher Paolini, who is the author of the Inheritance Trilogy."

A pause.

There was a crackle and then a voice spoke that sounded like it was coming out of a microphone. "Send them in."

The five of them walked in to the house, Detective Vice was last. When he walked in, Vader stopped him and said. "I am WATCHING you Wal-Mart boy."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh took his hand off the microphone.

Eragon was still waiting for DaAlCh's answer, and Roran was still unconscious and on the floor drooling. Eragon tapped his foot on the ground impatiently, "Well? I'm waiting…"

DaAlCh held up a hand, "Just a minute, I want all the main characters here for my 'big revelation.'"

"All right…" Eragon grumbled as CP, Arya, Nasuada, Orik, and Detective Vice marched into DaAlCh's room.

The moment all five of them were in the room, CP stopped and said, "DaAlCh, you have made our lives a living hell, therefore you owe us $1240 in cash, NOW."

"Plus tax." The Detective added.

"AND…" Eragon added, "Angela blackmailed me, because you are the cause of my debt, we have to add $100 to that figure."

"So now your total is $1350." Arya said simply.

"Ouch"

"And if you don't pay it now," The Detective said, "I am bringing out the lawyers boy."

CP looked satisfied, "Now, DaAlCh, you must answer our questions. If you can't come up with the money by the time this chapter ends, you will be sued." CP stopped and pulled out his notebook. "First question, why the hell did you put a Mary Sue into my beloved trilogy?"

"For the sake of a story." DaAlCh explained exasperated. His characters had apparently gotten out of their jam by putting their problems on his shoulders. He was thinking of a way out of this one…

Arya jumped into the conflict, "Question two, why is Darth Vader downstairs in the main hall? And why is he in his polka dot boxer shorts?"

DaAlCh waved a hand impatiently, "That's not the REAL Darth Vader, that's just some Star Wars fanatic who lives in our garage, waiting for the seventh Star Wars movie."

"There is no seventh movie." Nasuada said.

"That's what we told him," DaAlCh explained, "But he wouldn't listen."

"Ah."

"Question three," Orik said. "Why is Roran unconscious?"

DaAlCh looked at Roran, Then looked up at Orik and said. "I don't know." He put a hand to his handy dandy microphone and asked into it, "Vader, why is Roran unconscious?"

There was a pause, then Vader spoke. "Because Master, when I threw Eragon and Roran out, Roran hit his head upon the sidewalk."

"Oh. Okay, thanks." Orik said.

"Now I have question for you." DaAlCh said in a strange voice. The six others shifted uncomfortably. "Why did you ever think that you could stop my Mary Sue and myself with your silly debts?" DaAlCh rose out of his seat.

"NO!" Arya lunged at him. But a mysterious wind kicked up out of no where and blew Arya into a wall, knocking her unconscious.

"Do you really think." DaAlCh said, his hair, cloths, and really cool cape billowing about him in the wind. "That you can withstand the power of an author?" The wind became stronger. Small objects were picked up and whirled around the room. The main characters clustered together, not knowing what to do.

The wind became even stronger, books and DVDs were picked up and blown about. Suddenly, a strong blast of wind actually picked up the computer monitor and blew it about. Unfortunately, the monitor crashed into the large window and shattered it.

Suddenly it was like a vacuum, everything was getting sucked out the window. Roran's body actually began to slide to the window. The bed's sheet's billowed about for a second, then were wrenched off the mattress and out the window. The lamps went after it. The wind became even stronger. Eragon could actually feel his body begin to be pulled toward the window.

The bed's mattress was pulled up and sucked out of the window, DaAlCh's desk groaned and was pulled out the window. Same with Arya (Except she didn't groan, she sighed.) DaAlCh was the only thing in the room that wasn't moving.

BLAM, DaAlCh's bookshelf and bedroom door were wrenched from their spots and went out of the room. Detective Vice was sucked up into the open window. Roran and Orik were pulled along also. DaAlCh laughed, he snapped his fingers and the wind became louder. His shelves were literally pulled out of the wall, and got sucked up into the window. CP held on to what remained of the bed when the wind became to much.

Eragon was the only one still on his feet, Nasuada had just been sucked out of the room. His elven powers allowed him to stay firmly planted. DaAlCh took a menacing step towards him. "Now…" He said, his eyes were like daggers. "LEAVE!" This was enough, the wind grew even stronger, he was pulled from his spot, and pulled out of the window, and into the sky. He didn't know where he would end up all he knew was that-

That was all he thought, for a rather hard dictionary knocked him on the head while he was on his way into the sky, and he fell immediately unconscious.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the room, the wind was not as powerful, but it was still powerful enough to keep CP suspended in the air while he held on for dear life to the window sill. DaAlCh looked at him. "Give up CP, you can't win. My sue will take over your story, accept it."

"NEVER!" CP shouted over the gale.

"Very well, I will have to show you, rather than tell you." DaAlCh snapped his fingers menacingly. Through the doorway came a beautiful woman, she looked to be about 17, she had white hair, and her eyes were like drops of liquid moonlight. She was dressed in black leather, she wore a cape and a body suit that made her already curvaceous body even more curvaceous. Her skin was tanned, but not to tanned. Everything about her, in everyway possible, was perfect. "My dear Sue," DaAlCh said. "I have a quick assignment for you before you start on your main one."

"What is it father?" The Sue said in a musical tone.

When he told her, she grinned, her teeth were whiter than white. They looked beautiful when framed within her full, crimson lips.

"No… Not that… I'll do anything!" CP pleaded to the two of them.

"Very well." She said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Christopher Paolini screamed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon groaned, he felt he was blown out a bedroom, sent flying high in the sky, got hit in the head by a dictionary, and fell into Alagaesia.

He slowly opened his eyes. But he was stopped by soft hands, "Wait." A musical voice said. "You must rest." Eragon could smell a perfume, it smelled like jasmine. He grinned in pleasure. His vision was blurred, but he could tell she was beautiful.

"It has been three days since you landed her." The figure said, "I have been nursing you back to health since then." Eragon tried to sit up. But the soft, delicate hands stopped him, and said. "Ah Ah Ah. You must rest." Even though it did not sound like a command, he immediately felt himself going to sleep, the voice was strangely hypnotic.

"Before you go to sleep, Eragon. I want you to know that my name is Khrystalle, the Raven Huntress."

To be continued….


	5. Khrystalle, The Raven Huntress

Well, I'm back, and I'm on a roll! Be prepared for more updates! And so without further ado….

_Azulcat- _Actually I don't just have neato wind powers, I just have the power to do anything I want because I am the 'author' of the fanfic. So I am like a god in the fanfic.

_Invaderm- _Yes, poor Eragon, blown in the air by me and now healed by Khrystalle. Poor Eragon. Glad to see you review again!

_Lady Charity- _Yes I am back, I kinda fluctuate between fanfic writing periods and doing other stuff periods. You actually correctly guessed what happened to CP, I'm proud of ya.

_Alsdssg- _Yes I am to powerful, I am the author after all… Khrystalle sounds like a good name for a Sue doesn't it? I actually invented her name in November. And yup, my long breaks between chapters cost the characters, I really did do the math.

_Blizzardstar2000- _Just wait to see what happens my friend. I just love lawyers jokes don't you? But how could you not like Wal-mart jokes, they're one of the biggest companies in the world! You're suppose to makes cracks at them!

_Skydance1110-_ Yep, Eragon has met the Sue. I usually have author inserts in my stories. My first comedy story, "Eragon" at shurtugal fan fiction had me in it as well.

So, quick update huh? I am so happy that I have a really popular story on my hands (psst, read and review my other story, The Bonds of Humanity). I didn't think it would become this popular! So kudos to everyone who reads my story but doesn't review! And no without futher asue-

Disclaimer- For laughs and enjoyment available from this story, the author of this story does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information, punctuation, grammar, or capitalization disclosed. Various content on this story may be subject to copyright by Christopher Paolini and DaAlCh. Use of the copyrighted material is subject to the terms and conditions of use established by Christopher Paolini and DaAlCh.

Khrystalle, The Raven Huntress

Chapter 5 of MarySue: A Concoction

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last time on MarySue: A Comedy:

"Before you go to sleep Eragon, I want you to know that my name is Khrystalle, the Raven Huntress."

Those beautiful words echoed inside Eragon's head like a bell, as he drifted off into the blessed world of dreams.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Eragon awoke, he found that he was lying on a hard surface. He smelled something sweet, it like the smell of blossoms drifting along in the spring breeze. He grinned in pleasure, again. He opened his eyes, he was looking at the blue sky, with only a few wisps of clouds here and there. He leaned up, and saw his savior for the first time.

She was beautiful, Eragon could tell that right away. She was even more beautiful than Arya herself. Her face did not have a single spot or speck on it. She had dimpled cheeks and her lips were as full as the harvest moon. Her nose was just the right size and shape for her sweet oval face. He could not see her eyes, because she was looking down.

She was kneeling down by an extremely well-made campfire with a pot on top of the fire, she was obviously cooking something. Whatever it was, it smelled delicious. She was clad in a simple dress with a hood, it seemed slightly oriental. She wore no make-up or jewelry, but she looked beautiful none the less. She wore a simple pair of sandals, which looked wonderful on her dainty little feet.

He was staring at her with his mouth open, when he began to drool, she looked up and said, "Ah, you are awake, I was worried that you would never get up." She laughed a melodious laugh that ended in a warm smile. "I have made you some breakfast, it isn't much, but it should suffice."

It turned out that she made an omelet with six different spices, two hash browns, some French toast with some delicious maple syrup, and a jelly donut. Apparently her idea of "not much" was "gourmet."

"How did you make all this with just a pot and a campfire?" Eragon asked with a mouth full of French toast.

She laughed again, and replied, "My mother taught me to cook when I was very young, since then, I know more cooking than Wolfgang Puck."

"Where is your mother now?" Eragon asked, interested.

"She's dead." Khrystalle responded sharply. Suddenly looking down at the ground.

"Oh." Eragon paused, "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault." As she looked down at the ground, a single tear fell down from her right eye. The tear was like a crystal itself, it seemed to flash for a second before hitting the ground with a plink. Eragon saw Khrystalle's eyes for the first time, they were like a window into her soul, crystals attached to a face. Eragon seemed to be drawn to them.

"You know, Khrystalle," He said, not sure of what to say. "My mother is dead as well."

She looked up at his face and said, "I know."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Eragon was getting nursed back to health by Khrystalle, the other characters had their own things to deal with…

When Arya landed, she got a broken arm and a broken leg. Orik had sprained his neck, Nasuada had broken both her feet and Detective Plot D. Vice had dislocated both of his shoulders. No one knew what happened to Roran or CP though…

Arya was in a wheel chair, and Orik had a huge cast around his neck, Nasuada was also in a wheelchair as well as the Detective. Everyone was rather angry that they had been blown through the air by DaAlCh and sent back into Alagaesia. They all wanted to give DaAlCh a piece of their minds, but they all didn't really want to risk getting blown out of his room, or something worse.

"Well, first thing's first," read Arya, who was holding a list with her unbroken arm, "We need to find Roran, Christopher Paolini and Eragon. Any ideas where they could be?"

"Who's Roran?" Orik said.

"Never heard of him." said Nasuada.

"I just want my $1240." Said the Detective.

"That brings us to the second thing…" explained Arya, "You're fired. Go away. You suck at detecting and you are the indirect reason for all our injuries, go back into your box, and we will send you back to Wal-Mart."

"Oh yeah?" Said the detective defensively, "Who are you going to hire to find out where Eragon, Roran and CP are?"

"Well…" Said Nasuada, we asked Angela to find some suitable detectives. And she found some apparently."

"ANGELA!" Orik shouted.

"What?" Angela said, walking into the room.

"Bring out the new detectives." Commanded Arya from her wheelchair.

"Okay." Angela said and then shouted back outside. "HEY YOU GUYS!" She shouted to someone. She turned back inside. "They're going to be here in a second."

"Alright then," Arya said. "The third thing I want to discuss is how to get rid of the Sue-"

She was cut off just then because the door opened. Four people and a dog walked into the room. The first man had blond hair, a white shirt and blue pants. The second man had shaggy hair, a large green shirt, brown pants and an unusual gait. The first woman had red hair, and wore lots of purple. The second woman was short, wore glasses and wore a lot of orange. The dog was brown.

Detective Plot. D. Vice looked at them in shock.

It was Scooby Doo and the gang.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon and Khrystalle were talking.

They had discovered that they were alike in many ways. For instance, they both liked the GooGooDolls, sushi, Lord of the Rings, palm pilots and Star Trek. One of their few differences was that for some reason, Khrystalle wore gloves all the time and she wouldn't take off no matter what. Even though Eragon enjoyed spending time with Khrystalle, he was still very worried about his friends, he had someone nursing him for three days, he wasn't sure what had happened to the others.

"I was wondering, Khrystalle, how did you get your nickname? The Raven Huntress sounds very…. Interesting.." Eragon asked.

She laughed again, Eragon enjoyed being with such a happy person. "I gave my nickname to myself, it doesn't mean anything really, it sounds really cool though."

"That it does." Eragon said, he was silent for a moment before speaking again. "Khrystalle," Said Eragon, "I enjoy being with you, but I really need to go find the others."

Khrystalle stopped preaching to Eragon and said, "I'm not sure, you still have to rest, if you went off looking for them, it may injure you, I don't want to risk it. Not yet."

"But I-"

"Eragon." She said, "I don't want you to be hurt. Listen to me, stay here."

Once again, her musical voice became strangely hypnotic. Eragon breathed in and then looked up into her face and said, "Okay." She smiled, they leaned in closer, and then-

They parted. Eragon walked away and sat back down and looked up at the clouds moving across the sky, one of them looked like a sphere, another looked like Khrystalle. He blushed and pulled his legs up to his chest, he could never stop thinking about her. He knew he was in love. He looked up back into the sky and looked at another cloud, it looked like a dragon-

"Saphira," He whispered to himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few yards away, Khrystalle had opened a viewing portal to contact her father. It was small, only about a foot in diameter and made no sound. When his face came on the screen, she said in a quiet voice so that Eragon would not hear, "Father."

DaAlCh leaned back in his chair, "My dear Khrystalle, why have you contacted me? What is the matter?"

Khrystalle paused then said, "Eragon wants to find the rest of the characters, but we can't let that happen can we? That would lead them on to discovering our plans!"

"My dear sue, I know for a fact that the other characters have hired not one, not two, but FIVE new detectives to look for Eragon, Roran, and Christopher Paolini."

"Who's Roran?"

"Roran does not matter," Said DaAlCh quickly, "Let Eragon contact Saphira, with any luck, Saphira will create a 'third party' and cause confusion, therefore concealing our plans for the trilogy."

"As you wish, father." Said Khrystalle, as she closed the portal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eragon." Khrystalle said while she turned around to face him. "I just had an idea! You could contact Saphira, she will get us out of here for sure!"

Eragon jumped, startled. "How did you know I was contacting Saphira?"

"I just had a brainstorm the same time you did." She laughed again, "I guess that's another thing we have in common. Well? Did you contact Saphira?"

"Yes… I did, I told her about you, and her attitude changed all of a sudden for some reason." Eragon explained.

'Perfect' Thought Khrystalle.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saphira was pissed.

Eragon had abandoned her to be the star in some fan fiction, and what's more, he was in love with a Mary Sue! Things didn't get much worse than that. She grunted and let out a gust of flame. Once Eragon had stopped contacting her, she ordered the first meeting of "Females who want their men back" She was president of the organization. She didn't know what would be the consequences of making a third party would be, but she knew she had to do something.

Currently, the roster included Herself, Katrina, and CP's laptop. Arya was a pending member, and wasn't there.

"Now," Saphira grumbled. "The First Meeting of Females Who Want Their Men Back, (FWWTMB for short) Will come to order. Katrina will read the outcome of the previous meeting."

"Previous meeting?" Katrina said, "I thought this was the first."

"SILENCE MORTAL!" Saphira yelled, shooting fire out of her mouth.

"Eeeeeppp…" Katrina squeaked.

"What-is-the-goal-of-this-organization?" CP's computer asked.

"To get our men back." Saphira said stiffly.

"But-HOW?" CP's computer asked again.

"First we find our men." Saphira explained.

"HOW?!" CP's laptop and Katrina yelled.

A pause.

"I haven't gotten to that part yet." Saphira admitted.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Detective Plot. D. Vice was sitting in his crate, meditating.

He was forced back into his crate by two Varden guards, and now was going through the rather lengthy process of getting shipped out of Aberon International Airport. He had to get revenge, but how? He also had to pee, but that was beside the point. He knew he would have lengthy shipping periods when he decided to work for Wal-Mart.

He pulled out his Detective Certificate, he cut it out of the back of a Cheerios box when he was young, when he decided to work for Wal-Mart, they accepted the fake certificate in an instant. He ate his complementary peanuts mournfully, he wasn't allowed to have any drinks on board, so he was forced to be thirsty, he really needed a latte grande from Starbucks.

When he was planning how to get revenge, the view screen on the side of the box popped up. On the view screen, he saw a borg drone concealed in darkness.

"How-did-your-mission-to-Algaesia-go-D666?" The Drone asked.

"Not to well, they fired me." The Detective admitted.

"What?"

"They fired me, and they hired new detectives to solve where Christopher Paolini, Roran and Eragon went so they can finally figure out how to bring down DaAlCh and his Mary Sue." The Detective explained.

"The-situation-is-worse-than-we-thought. We-must-make-a-move-before-they-discover-the-truth. We-will-take-you-back-to-HQ. Then-we-may-plan-our-next-move. Those-Alagaesian-fools-can-not-resist-the-power-of-the-Wal-Mart-collective. They-will-be-assimilated-into-the-collective." The Borg said, before shutting of the connection between the Detective and HQ.

In the darkness of the crate, the detective laughed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And that one looks like the Enterprise D!" Eragon said, pointing up to the sky.

Both he and Khrystalle were lying on their backs, enjoying the summer warmth. There were now several clouds in the sky, it had gotten steadily cloudier throughout the day. A breeze blew, making the green grass rustle.

Khrystalle was silent then pointed to an oddly cubical cloud. "And that one looks like a Borg cube, coming to assimilate us all."

Eragon laughed, "You watch to much Star Trek." He propped himself on one elbow and looked at her.

She looked at him. "You were the one who thought that one cloud looked like the Enterprise D." She smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile, instead it seemed like a forlorn smile.

Eragon's smile faded from his face. "What's wrong?"

She sniffed, and a tear fell down her porcelain-like cheeks. "Nothing… it's just that I can't just get rid of the feeling that something bad is going to happen…" She looked down and the green grass, plucked a dandelion off the ground and held it up between the two of them.

"I won't let anything happen to you." Eragon said, "Or us."

She blew on the dandelion, she blew all but one of the seeds away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh watched the scene unfold before his eyes with the help of his handy dandy computer. Even though the computer was blown into the sky in the last chapter, he had since managed to get it back.

He grinned, and said, "We'll see about that Eragon." and pulled out a remote control. He pushed a BIG red button on a remote control which was labeled 'plot twist', and watched the events unfold before his very eyes.

He laughed as the shadows came around him and shrouded the room in darkness.

To be continued…


	6. The Karaoke Bar of Plot Twists

Alsdssg- Thanks for reviewing again! I thought Khrystalle needed a good nickname, but not a good reason for having one. Everyone's so worried that Eragon's going to fall in love with the sue… can't they accept the inevitable?

Azulcat- Really? I always thought it was Daphne who had red hair, and Velma had brown. D666 stands for Detective Number 666, I put that in because I think Wal-Mart is like the borg. And yes I am a trekkie.

Ingu- Don't worry you will see what the plot twist is in this chapter.

Invaderm- I thought FWWTMB would be a good subplot for the story, and I thought that I would make the "Who's Roran?" into a running gag.

Blizzardstar- Saphira and Khrystalle won't be fighting, because of Saphira's and Eragon's mental connection. But someone will duel Khrystalle… I won't say who, but you can probably guess. And in case anyone was wondering… I am a guy.

Kitty and the Amethyst- Don't worry, she will, but at the very end though…

Welcome to Chapter 6! I wrote most of this while watching the superbowl, so yeah. I just wanted to open up the chapter with a small ad for my other story, "The Bonds of Humanity", I really want more reviewers, because I like it when I get reviews. So review please!

I would also like you to know that I have finally planned out my entire story, after this chapter. We should be about… 1/3 of the way through the story, but it could be ¼ of the way, considering I may be miscalculating things. I have planned for the story to have a prologue, 15 chapters, and one epilogue. So, here is (the real) chapter five!

And I want everyone to know that the tone of the story does shift a bit in this chapter. I know this a comedy, but the plot twist changes the tone of this chapter quite a bit. The humor will return in Chapter seven, but… you'll just have to read and see.

Disclaimer: Don't sue me, and I won't sue you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MarySue: A Crossover

Chapter Six: The Karaoke Bar of Plot Twists

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Detective Vice had been shipped off to Aberon International Airport, Arya and the rest of the Inheritance Characters decided to tell Scooby and the rest of the Mystery Machine gang what had to be done.

"All right." Said Arya. "First thing is first, we have no clue where Eragon, CP or Roran is. We need you find them, by any means necessary, All right?" She looked at them hopefully.

"Sooo…" Said Shaggy. "There's going to be, like, no spooky monsters involved?"

"Yep." Said Arya.

"Don't get your hopes up." Said Nasuada darkly.

"Rill Re Ret Rood?" Scooby asked excitedly.

"Huh?"

"I think Scooby means that he wants to know if there will be a reward at the end, food more specifically." Velma said to Arya. Then she looked down at Scooby. "Isn't that right Scooby?"

"Don't worry about the food, I'll take care of that… as well as some… other things you might want…" Said Orik mysteriously.

The Scooby Gang smiled then Fred exclaimed. "All right gang! Let's find Eragon, CP and Roran!" Then he marched out of the room. Shaggy, Velma and Scooby followed. Daphne was halfway out the door when she turned around to look back Arya, Nasuada and Orik.

"One thing." Daphne said, "Who's Roran?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Daphne left, all was silent in the room. Finally Arya spoke. "Well that was the easiest thing we have ever done in this fanfic hasn't it?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon loved Khrystalle.

That's what he thought anyway. He was pretty sure he still loved Arya, but she was so old school. Khrystalle was like the new hotness, Arya was the old stuck up princess. Eragon was also wondering if he still loved himself, but that was a different matter.

But Khrystalle didn't really know of course. Eragon hadn't told her he loved her. Eragon wasn't even sure if Khrystalle loved him back, he hoped she did, but he didn't know. He knew he could be making a big mistake by doing this, but he just had to, it would be the only way to further their relationship.

Eragon was going to ask Khrystalle out on a date.

Eragon looked at Khrystalle who was picking wildfires and putting them gracefully into a well-made woven bag. It turned out that Khrystalle was an adept, no a master, weaver as well. Eragon sighed, she looked so beautiful. He wasn't sure if he was worth her beauty, then he realized he was beautiful as well.

Eragon knew, it was now or never. Either he asked her out or he didn't. With a sigh, he looked down and walked up to her. When he got five yards away, she looked up from her handiwork and asked. "What is it Eragon?"

"Ummmm….."

She looked at him. "Well?"

"I… I…"

She looked at him intently, "Out with it. Come on."

"I want to ask you…."

"Yes?"

"Out on a date." Finished Eragon.

"Oh is that all?" Khrystalle said, not sounding to enthusiastic. At the same time you could hear Eragon's heart going deep down into his stomach. A few seconds later, Khrystalle finally said. "Well of COURSE I would go with you out on a date! Pick me up at six," She began to walk away, then turned around and said. "Later, toodles."

Eragon felt like he was on top of the world.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scooby and the gang were walking down a corridor, following some footprints. Scooby was first, sniffing along the ground, trying to find the scent. Velma was next, who was looking down at the footprints with a magnifying glass in one hand. Fred and Daphne were walking together, and Shaggy was last, and was walking in his own strange manner.

They had found the footprints not fifteen seconds ago, they didn't know who they belonged to, but they were pretty sure the footprints would lead to some answers. After a few seconds of walking, they came across something rather strange.

The pair of footprints went off into two different directions. The corridor split up ahead, and so did the footprints. The left foot went off into the left corridor, and the right footprint led off into the right corridor. They looked at it for a few seconds, then Shaggy said. "Like, Wow gang. That must have HURT."

Fred raised a finger into the air and exclaimed. "Looks like we'll have to split up gang. Shaggy, you and Scooby go off into one group and Velma Daphne and I will-"

"Oh please Fred." Velma interjected. "We ALWAYS split up that way. Let's split up somewhat differently this time."

"But-" Fred said, sounding hurt.

"Velma's right Fred." Daphne said. "How about this? Velma and I will make one group, and You, Shaggy and Scooby can be the second group. How's that sound?"

"Rounds rood to me!" Scooby said.

"Then it's settled." Velma said. "Daphne and I will go off into the left corridor, and the rest of you guys can go off and explore the right corner. See ya."

Velma and Daphne walked off, but suddenly, Scooby began to follow them.

"Hey Scoob. Like, where are you going?"

Scooby turned back to face them, then he said. "Rey have Scooby Snaks."

Scooby then began to walk down the left corner. Shaggy and Fred were left alone at the intersection. Suddenly Fred said. "Okay, now that is just wrong."

"You said it man."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saphira, Katrina and CP's Laptop were still discussing how to get their men back.

Saphira suggested that they use Eragon's and her's mental connection to make the search quicker. Katrina suggested that they beat the crap out of this "Khrystalle" and take their men back by force, and CP's laptop suggested that they create a massive army of robots that would obey their every whim and would allow them to create an all out war that would allow them to gain world domination and put every sue in concentration camps, and exterminate anyone who didn't agree with F.W.W.T.M.B.

"But how would that help us find our men?" Katrina asked CP's laptop quizzically.

"It-would-not." CP's laptop replied.

"Then why do you suggest world domination?" Saphira said.

"Because-by-ruling-the-world-we-would-be-able-to-exterminate-all-of-the-mary-sues-in-existence." CP's laptop explained. "We-would-then-use-our-power-as-leader-of-the-world-to-buy-new-boyfriends-like-say-Steve-Jobs-or-even-better-Bill-Gates."

There was silence in the room.

"Steve Jobs?" both Katrina and Saphira asked.

"What? I-like-them." CP's laptop replied.

"You're idea has potentinal, uhh… what was your name again?" Saphira asked CP's laptop.

"You-may-call-me-"Your-Supreme-Highness-You-Bathes-Her-World-In-Her-Glory-Hilda." Cp's laptop answered in a regal tone.

"Rigghtttt…." Katrina said.

"So Hilda," Saphira said. "Your idea may have potential, but our first goal is getting our men back. After we do that, you can think about world domination."

"Sounds-good-to-me."

"I have an idea." Katrina said. "You know that Detective from Wal-Mart? Why don't we force any answers he knows out of him, then we can use Wal-Mart's database to find our men as well!"

"Great idea, but where is this Detective?"

"I-believe-Detective-Plot-D-Vice-went-to-Aberon-International-Airport-to-be-sent-back-to-HQ." Hilda said.

"Well." Saphira said slowly. "I guess this means we're going on a road trip!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khrystalle loved Eragon.

She knew she wasn't suppose to love Eragon, and was suppose to follow her father's orders. But really, Eragon was just so wonderful to be around. She decided that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to love Eragon, as long as she did what her father commanded her to do. She sighed a cool sigh that felt like the spring breeze.

She looked in the mirror at the evening gown she was wearing. Eragon was going to pick her up any minute now, she new she looked gorgeous in it, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to look… well… gorgeouser.

DING DONG

"Already?" She asked to herself. She looked back at the mirror, decided it would work. Then opened the door, and there was Eragon.

"Can I come in? Or do you want to leave right now?"

"No… let's go now. I don't want to waste any more time." Khrystalle said.

"Are you going to put any makeup on?" Eragon asked as they walked to the car.

"No, I look more ravishing anyways without it." Khrystalle explained.

"Ah."

"So…" Khrystalle said while opening the car door. "Where are you taking me for our first date?" She said as she began to sit down into the passanger seat.

"I was thinking of a Karaoke Bar downtown." Eragon explained while putting the keys in. "Is that alright?"

"That's wonderful. I like Karaoke. Whenever I enter a Karaoke contest I always win. I'm a wonderful singer." Khrystalle said as they drove off.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fred was angry that he was stuck with Shaggy.

He had always managed to be able to split up with one of the girls or both of them. Now, Velma and Daphne had cottoned on, he was stuck with Shaggy. With an icy tone he asked Shaggy, "Well Shaggy, are we going to continue to follow the footprint, or do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Like, I think we should go to a place where there's, like, food." Shaggy said.

"Perfect." Fred thought. "Well." He said. "How about I will follow the footprint, and you go look for food."

"So we're like, going to split up again?" Shaggy asked.

"Yup."

"I don't know…"

"Don't worry." Fred said. "There are no monsters involved with this mystery, it will be fine.

"All right. See ya later pal." Said Shaggy as he walked down a random corridor.

Fred looked at him for a second, then went back to the intersection so he would follow Daphne, Velma and Scooby.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon pulled up to the front of the Karaoke bar. It was a fashionable place, it wasn't too small or too seedy, but looked a bit on the intimate side. He opened his car door and walked around the front to open up Khrystalles. She got out as gracefully as ever, when they were both standing on the sidewalk, Khrystalle exclaimed. "Look!"

Eragon looked and he saw that there was a sign in the front of the bar that said. "Tonite: Guest Singer, Avril Lavigne." Eragon looked at Khrystalle and said, "Well, it looks like we're going to have a guest singer in this chapter."

"This is perfect!" Khrystalle said. "I always wanted to sing 'Keep Holding On' my own version in front of an audience! Even better, I will show the world that Avril is a terrible singer!"

As they walked inside, Eragon said, "I almost feel sorry for Avril."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angela was worried.

There was evidence in the space-time continuum that a plot hole was about to occur within the fanfic was insurmountable. She didn't know what would happen, but she knew that tone of the fic began to shift sometime at the end of the last chapter.

Whatever the plot twist, they were getting closer to it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Eragon and Khrystalle walked inside, the first thing they heard was some fat chick singing Jem's "Once In Every Lifetime" rather badly. Eragon covered Khrystalle's gentile ears as they found a cozy two person table.

Once they sat down Khrystalle said rather loudly so Eragon could hear over the din, "You know, whenever I hear this song being sung. I think of you."

"That's funny, because whenever I hear this song, I always think of me."

Khrystalle stopped talking, and said, "Why don't we just order shall we?"

They were silent for a few seconds, trying not to listen to the fat woman's singing, until Eragon said, "I think I'll have a CoCoNoNo." He pointed to a picture of a drink in half of a coconut with a little umbrella sticking out of it.

"_OnCe In EvErY lIfEtImE…" _The woman warbled.

"I think I'll have a MarySue Sundae." Khrystalle said, who was still reading the menu.

"_iF yOu BeLiEvE…"_

"Really?" Said Eragon a bit worriedly. "You shouldn't have that, it's fattening."

"_mAn CaN mOvE a MoUnTaIn…"_

"Don't worry about me, and if I were you. I'd be worried about the woman singing right now." Khrystalle said.

"Why? She sings terribly." Eragon asked.

"YO, SHUT UP!" Said one of the audience, while throwing a rotten tomato at the woman.

"Hey! The song's not over!" The fat woman said.

"Yes it is." Said the leader of the bar. "Now get off my stage." The woman sulked away. "Now, all of you! Gather round, for tonight we have a special guest… Avril Lavigne!" And lo and behold, Avril walked out of the shadows and walked into the limelight.

Khrystalle grinned while she sipped her recently received Mary Sue Sundae with a straw.

"This should be fun." She said.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THUNK.

"What was that?" Daphne said fearfully, while turning around to look back.

"Ras rhat a monster?" Scooby asked.

"There are no monsters here Scooby." Velma said. "It's probably nothing, but…"

"But what?" Daphne asked.

Velma squinted down the corridor, then grabbed a giant baseball bat that had conveniently been put on the wall. "Wait here." She commanded, then walked back down the corridor which they just came from.

Daphne and Scooby looked at each other, then shrugged.

WHAM!!!!

"Oops. Sorry Fred." Velma said, who was looking down at Fred who had fallen to the floor from the force of Velma's blow.

"Owwww….."

"Fred, what gives?" Said Daphne walking up to him. "You're suppose to be with Shaggy, not stalking us."

"Rhere's Shaggy?" Asked Scooby.

"He…. Went… to.. Get… something to…. Eat." Said Fred through gritted teeth.

"Rood?" Said Scooby, then ran back down the corridor, hoping to find some food.

"Well." Said Velma. "We're back in our own groups, did you plan this Fred?"

"Of course not."

"Hmmmm…."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saphira, Katrina and Hilda were standing in front of Aberon International Airport, looking at departure times. They knew that Detective Plot. D. Vice would never had allowed himself to be shipped on a cargo plane, and they knew he liked Southwest Peanuts, so they were able to narrow the flights down quite a bit.

"Well, there are three flight times for Bentonville, Arkansas." Katrina said, looking up at the sign. "1:04, 3:00, and 7:06."

"He-could-be-on-any-one-of-those-flights-or-worse-yet-he-way-have-already-taken-off." Hilda said.

"How about this?" Saphira asked. "I could fly all of us to Bentonville Arkansas, then we can move on from there."

"Sounds-good." Said Hilda.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Avril Lavingne was singing "Once in Every Lifetime." up on stage.

Eragon was impressed, but Khrystalle wasn't. She was sure she could sing better than Avril, all she had to do was wait… that way, she could impress Eragon and make Avril look like a fool in front of her. Just ask if she could sing right after Avril, and then…

Khrystalle smiled. The song was halfway done… just two more minutes. Eragon was enjoying her though, much to her chagrin. "Whoo Hoo!" He exclaimed, fist in the air. Khrystalle turned back, she couldn't wait.

When the song was done, Avril took a deep bow, and let everyone applaud. Khrystalle raised her hand in the air to let the owner of the Bar see her.

"Uhh… yes ma'am." The bar owner said, pointing at her.

"Well, I was just wondering if I could go next. After all, it IS a karaoke bar…" Said Khrystalle to the bar owner.

"Sure… just head right on up."

Avril was making her way off stage and was now getting thronged by fans, Khrystalle took a hold of the microphone at the same time and began to sing into it. Eyes locked onto Eragon, as she sang with an evil grin on her face.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fred, Daphne and Velma had discovered a strange thing.

The set of footprints they had been following, which had split up in the beginning of the chapter, had come back together near the end of the chapter.

"For some reason, this is all strangely familiar." Daphne said, as they followed the now complete footprints.

"Look gang!" Fred exclaimed, the footprints led to a door, and then stopped there. "Whoever left these footprints must be in that room!" Fred said while jogging to the door. "Ready guys?"

"Always." Velma said.

Fred opened the door, and all three looked inside, and gasped.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Khrystalle finished her song, there was much fanfare and excitement. Over 100 people had just witnessed someone who could sing better than Avril Lavingne while sining Avril's own song.

Eragon was one of the first people who had run out to her once she had finished singing. There were plenty of others, but Eragon was the most notable, because… well…. She loved him. So there they were on stage. "You were amazing!" exclaimed Eragon. "I never knew someone could sing better than Avril!"

Khrystalle just smiled.

"I… I… just think I need to do this…" Eragon blubbered. "You deserve a… reward." Eragon added. And then he kissed her on the cheek so quickly, Khrystalle didn't have enough time to react.

They stood that way for several seconds.

Finally, Khrystalle said, "Get… off…. Of me."

"What?" Eragon asked.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Khrystalle screamed while she pushed Eragon away. She reached up and touched the spot where he had kissed her, and then began to cry and ran out of the karaoke bar, pushing people out of the way, especially the ones who wanted her autograph.

Eragon was silent for a few moments, then he say. "Oh dear. I just don't understand women."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arya, Nasuada, Orik, Fred, Daphne and Velma were all standing outside of the doors which the latter three just opened a few minutes ago.

"I'm afraid that we have one of the people which you had commanded us to find." Daphne said.

"Why are you afraid? That's a good thing isn't it?" Orik asked.

The Scooby gang shook their heads sadly. Fred reached out and opened the doors wide.

Arya, Nasuada and Orik looked in, while Fred, Daphne and Velma didn't, for they had already seen the sight.

Arya, Nasuda and Orik gasped.

Because inside that room, was Christopher Paolini's pale, mangled corpse.

To be continued…


	7. The Anti Sue Cometh

The Alagaesians and Mystery Inc. stared at CP's body before them.

Between this chapter and the last, (wherever that may be) They had hired a doctor from character limbo, specifically Wal-Mart. His name was Dr. Quackery. None of them were planning on hiring another person from Wal-Mart, but they simply didn't have the time or the money to hire a real doctor.

After numerous IV's, Cat scans, blood tests, DNA tests, a measuring of CP's blood presure and pulse, and even a urine test (don't ask) Dr. Quackery (Quack for short) had finally announced that Christopher Paolini was dead.

"Finally." muttered Orik.

"But who killed him?" Arya asked impatiently.

"No clue." Said Dr. Quack.

"Well gang…" Fred said. "This looks like another job for… MYSTERY INC!" At this, he held up his hand triumphantly in the air.

"Great…" Daphne said.

"Let's get this over with…" Velma muttered.

"I know who can help us." Nasuada offered.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MarySue: A Comedy

Chapter Six: The Anti-Sue Cometh

(I like this style of chapter organization now, I really do.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shaggy and Scooby were stuffing their faces in the dining hall, mysteriously, no one else was there. If there was, they would probably be way over on the side of the room, 'cause the duo were stuffing their faces like there wasn't going to be a next chapter.

"RRRrmmjggahdfkjdsfklh" Scooby said as he took a bite out of the roasted quail.

"Mrrjfkljfjhgjjjfkfjfff" Shaggy agreed. Then he swallowed. "You know whats-mmrlhrf" He said as he took a bite out a hamburger. "Great about this new job? Not only do we- mfkjrjrkjkjfkf" He took another bite. "Get to eat a lot, but there are also- jjffrrr- no monsters whatso ever." Scooby shook his head vigorously.

"Pass the salt please." Shaggy asked.

Someone handed it to him.

"Thanks Scoob."

"Rut, Rshaggy, I'm rover rhere." Scooby said, frightened.

Shaggy was perplexed. "Then who passed me the salt-"

The next thing Shaggy knew, he was staring face to face with an eight-foot tall obese thing with buck teeth, and overbite, acne, greasy hair, watery eyes and mucus to spare. The thing snorted up the mucus that was dribbling down her chapped lips, which led down to her yellowing teeth. Overall, the thing was some sort of hideous humanoid female, although it looked like a B-Movie monster.

The thing grunted. "Me." It grunted out, then it saw Shaggy and Scooby running out of the room as fast as they could. It snorted up the dribbling mucus, and ran after them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khrystalle had run off outside to get some air.

Eragon followed her, when he spotted her sitting on a bench, crying in her own beautiful way. (The tears were like crystals that reflected liquid moonlight, hence the name.) He sighed and sat next to her. "What's wrong Khrystalle? You did wonderful, I only kissed you, is there something bad about that?"

"It's not bad that you love me…" She sniffed daintily before continuing. "It's just that…"

"What?" Eragon asked.

"There's something about me that you don't know…" She said, a single tear rolled down from her dim, but beautiful eyes.

"What?" Eragon asked again.

"I've done a bad thing…" She sobbed. "But it's more than that… I… I am…. I Mary Sue."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arya, Orik, Nasuada, Fred, Daphne, Velma and Dr. Quack were standing in front of Angela who was looking cool and composed, as usual.

"We need your help, but first, we need to tell you something." Arya said.

"What?" Angela asked.

"Christopher Paolini is dead." Orik said bluntly.

"Is that all?" Angela asked, "That's old news, I already read that on fan Remember, DaAlCh IS writing this story."

"Oh, yes. Anyways, we need your help with a little problem…" Arya said.

"You want me to find out what, or who killed CP?" Angela stated bluntly.

"Yes." Said the seven others in unison.

"Well let me see the DNA, and I'll put it in to my trademarked Supa-Dupa-Cause-Machine. I'm going to make this baby public in a few years, and is most likely going to replace detectives soon after that." Angela explained.

"It looks like Vice is going to be jobless…" Dr. Quack muttered as Angela put the DNA in the machine to study the cause of death.

"How did you create that anyways?" Velma asked, curious.

"I was given the blueprints by a mysterious robot that told me to build this machine and send it public."

"Any idea who this robot belonged to?" Fred asked.

"No." Angela admitted.

"Well gang," Fred said. "THIS looks like yet ANOTHER mystery for-"

"Yes, Yes Fred." Daphne said. "Now hush, the results are coming out."

A paper was sent out of the machine. Angela took it, stared at it, and held it up for all to see.

It read:

MARY-SUE

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Flashback)

Back in the room, the wind was not as powerful, but it was still powerful enough to keep CP suspended in the air while he held on for dear life to the window sill. DaAlCh looked at him. "Give up CP, you can't win. My sue will take over your story, accept it."

"NEVER!" CP shouted over the gale.

"Very well, I will have to show you, rather than tell you." DaAlCh snapped his fingers menacingly. Through the doorway came a beautiful woman, she looked to be about 17, she had white hair, and her eyes were like drops of liquid moonlight. She was dressed in black leather, she wore a cape and a body suit that made her already curvaceous body even more curvaceous. Her skin was tanned, but not to tanned. Everything about her, in everyway possible, was perfect. "My dear Sue," DaAlCh said. "I have a quick assignment for you before you start on your main one."

"What is it father?" The Sue said in a musical tone.

When he told her, she grinned, her teeth were whiter than white. They looked beautiful when framed within her full, crimson lips.

"No… Not that… I'll do anything!" CP pleaded to the two of them.

"Very well." She said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Christopher Paolini screamed.

(End Flashback)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So you are saying that DaAlCh's Mary Sue killed CP?" Arya asked. "That bitch!"

Nasuada interjected "That's makes it even more important to find Eragon and Roran. If either one of them is with the Sue…."

She fell silent, she didn't have to say anything more.

"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Came a scream from nearby.

Everyone turned. They saw Shaggy and Scooby running away from a fat, eight foot tall ugly woman who had a serious acne problem.

"YOU SAID THERE WOULD BE NO MONNNNSSTTTTERERRRRRSSSSS….." Shaggy screamed as he ran off in the other direction.

"Fascinating." Velma said while she adjusted her glasses.

"Computer." Angela asked. "What the heck was the thing that was chasing Shaggy and Scooby?"

"Processing." The computer said. All they could do now was wait. Then the computer asked the tired question. "Who-is-Roran?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What?" Eragon asked.

"I know it's bad… but-"

"No, I meant what is a sue? Never heard the term before."

Khrystalle looked at him smartfoundedly, Sue's after all aren't dumb. "Never heard the term? Well that clears that up." She said.

"Is there anything else you need me to know?" Eragon asked.

"Well now that we are on the subject…" Khrystalle said efficiently. She pulled off one of her silk gloves and showed her palm to Eragon.

He gasped.

Khrystalle's gedway ignasia glowed brightly in the night. It seemed to illumitate everything, the park, the night, and even Eragon's heart itself.

"I am a rider, like you. That is another similarity between us."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hilda was wearing a new scarf, flying goggles, and gloves while sitting in Katrina's hand. She had bought them from a cute check-out machine while they were waiting for their departure time. It was still unknown how she was wearing the gloves, seeing as she didn't have any hands.

Katrina was holding Hilda and was on Saphira's back. Saphira said loudly so that all of her passanger's could here.

"Let me please remind you that there is no standing on my tail, that Speleers kid may have done it, but I'm not letting you do that. I would also like to remind you that there will be complementary peanuts during the duration of the flight. And I would also like to remind you that there is suppose to be no hands, arms, feet or legs while the ride is moving, thank you."

"déjeme por favor recordarle que no hay situación en mi cola, ese cabrito de Speleers puede haber hechola, pero no le estoy dejando hacer eso. También quisiera recordarle que habrá cacahuetes complementarios durante la duración del vuelo. Y también quisiera recordarle que hay no supone para ser manos, brazos, pies o piernas mientras que el paseo se está moviendo, le agradece." Saphira repeated in Spanish.

Katrina paused, then said. "Why did you repeat what you said in Spanish?"

"These days you just have to be bilingual." Saphira explained.

"But…" Katrina said.

"SILENCE MORTAL!"

And, like magic, there was silence. Until…

"Can-we-just-get-a-move-on?" Hilda asked.

Without a word, Saphira took off from the runway, and was soon flying to Wal-Mart's headquarters in Arkansas.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The-results-are-in." Angela's machine said as the paper slid out of it.

Angela pulled out the paper and read it out loud.

"Apparently that thing that just ran by was an Anti-Sue." Angela explained.

"Oh no…" Orik moaned. "Not ANOTHER sue."

"No, you fool. An ANTI sue. This one is the complete opposite of a regular Mary-Sue." Angela continued.

"So that means this Anti-Sue will negate the perfection that the real Sue is creating?" Nasuada asked.

"Maybe." Said Angela. "I don't know for sure."

"I have a question." Said Dr. Quack. "What are we going to do with CP's corpse? I mean, don't we have to have a funeral or something?"

"Are you still going on about that?" Arya asked. "That is so five pages ago."

Angela coughed and said, "What interests me most is who created this Anti-Sue, and why. What you guys have to do now is find out who created this new Sue, and why." She said while pointing towards the three members of Mystery Inc.

"Well gang," Said Fred. "THIS LOOKS LIKE YET ANOTHER MYSTERY FOR MYSTERY INC. TO SOLVE!!!" He began running off in the direction that Shaggy and Scooby went, fist in the air. Daphne and Velma followed at a leisurely pace.

"Whatever." Said everyone left in the room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Another rider…" Eragon mumbled. "I'm not alone…"

Khrystalle smiled warmly, "You were never alone to begin with." He looked up at her. "I was always here for you." She stood up. "I know it comes as a shock in such a time of stress seeing as Christopher Paolini has just died-" She put a hand to her mouth, furious that she let that slip.

She didn't have to worry, because Eragon was looking at her with a particular look on his face. He looked at though he was in love. "What did you say?" He asked.

"My dragon's name is Greeni." Khrystalle said, "Normally I would have given him a more complex name, but seeing that I am the star of this fic, I decided not to. I wouldn't want him to take center stage." Khrystalle explained. "Do you know what this means?" Khrystalle asked.

"No. What?" Eragon asked.

"This means that we can rebuild the dragon race together! You and me. Isn't this wonderful?" Khrystalle said as she got closer to Eragon.

"Khrystalle…" Eragon said as he got closer to Khrystalle.

They were awfully close now. Their lips got ever closer, little by little they moved towards one another, and then suddenly, neither of them knew it but it happened.

They kissed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saphira was flying high over Alagaesia and was just about to reach the shore of the sea when-

"You-got-mail."

"What?" Saphira asked.

"I think someone is emailing us." Katrina said.

"No-duh." Hilda said. "Click-on-it-already."

"It's a little hard when you're flying on a dragon and you don't have a mouse…" Katrina said, struggling with Hilda. Finally, she got it open.

It read:

To the members of F.W.W.T.M.B:

I regret to inform you that Christopher Paolini has been murdered by a Mary-Sue who was created by DaAlCh. We have a funeral planned to take place next chapter at 13 Zombie Way. Please put a hold on any other plans you may have that involve Detective Plot. D. Vice and come share your last respects for the one man who created all of you. (Except for Hilda.)

Sincerely, Arya.

"CP… Dead?" Saphira dumbfounded.

"My-precious-sweet-lips-is-dead? WHY?!" Hilda said.

"Better turn around Saphira." Katrina said solemnly. Without another word, Saphira turned around and headed over to 13 Zombie Way.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon and Khrystalle continued to kiss passionately under the moonlit sky.

Perhaps a little too passionately, seeing as neither one of them heard Eragon's cell phone go off until the seventh ring.

RIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG

"Oh. My cell's ringing." Eragon said, breaking up the kiss very suddenly. Khrystalle recoiled, she looked hurt that the kiss couldn't last until the end of the chapter. "Hey cool! I got a text message!" Eragon said excitedly opening it up.

It read:

To Eragon,

I regret to inform you that Christopher Paolini has been murdered by a Mary-Sue who was created by DaAlCh. We have a funeral planned to take place next chapter at 13 Zombie Way. Please put a hold on anything you are doing right now and don't ask why we haven't bothered to call you until now or why you even have a cell phone seeing as they don't exist in Alagaesia.

Sincerely, Arya.

"What's it say?" Khrystalle asked inquisitively.

"We have to go." Said Eragon, who sounded more serious than Khrystalle had ever heard him before.

"What's wrong?" Khrystalle asked.

"It's just that… CP… has been killed by… a… Mary Sue…" Eragon said, comprehension dawning on his face. He turned back to face her, and asked in a harsh tone. "Khrystalle, did you have anything to do with this?!"

Khrystalle didn't answer immediately, she seemed to be torn between two answers.

"No." She finally mumbled.

"Oh. Okay." Eragon said much more brightly and began to walk towards the car.

"Why did I lie to him…" Khrystalle muttered to herself as she walked behind Eragon. When Eragon opened the car door, Khrystalle called out, "Wait!"

"What?"

"There's something else about me that you don't know." Khrystalle explained. "I'm not sure if you know this, but Sue's always have angst-filled pasts, correct?"

"Yeah?" Eragon asked.

"I have lived a horrible childhood. I took the green dragon egg…" She said.

"From my father, King Galbatorix."

To be continued….

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another chapter done! I was hoping to get in another chapter of my Earth/Alagaesia crossover fic in before this, but this one is just more popular. I am also sorry that this one came out a week late, I promise that there won't be another several long month break between the next chapter and this one.

And a thank you to all of my incredibly wonderful reviewers!!!


	8. Christopher Paolini's Funeral

Mary Sue: A Comedy

Chapter Seven: Christopher Paolini's Funeral

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_The church bells rang, _

_They spoke softly with a clang, _

_Everyone was dressed in black, _

_As they looked back, _

_They watched his body parade by _

_While they said goodbye, _

_It looked as though he was sleeping in bed, _

_Then they realized, Christopher Paolini was dead._

So scribbled DaAlCh as he watched the corpse go by the hordes of mourners at Christopher Paolini's funeral.

Everyone who was somehow related to Inheritance was there, every single fan who read Eragon fan fiction, wrote it, or had an account on Inheritanceforums. The males were dressed in formal wear, long black socks, dark pants and a coat. The females were dressed in black or dark grey dresses with matching stockings. Everyone was dressed for the occasion, nobody stood out.

Except for one person.

Khrystalle was looking beautiful as ever, even in funeral wear. She had an amazing shawl with an intricate pattern of black flowers on it. She had beautiful stockings on and a funeral dress that looked like a dress from the roaring twenties. She wore black mascara, which complemented everything about her. Unfortunately, every single male near her was oggling her, even in defiance of sexual orientation.

All of the characters of this fanfic were lined up in the front of everyone else, in order, from the front of the procession to the back was: DaAlCh, Arya, Angela, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Dr. Quack, Eragon, Khrystalle, Nasuada, Orik, Adelige, Azulcat, Ingu, Invaderk, Jousting Elf with a Sabre, Phoenix Espeon, Shadowed Song, Undiscovered Princess, Darth Vader, Saphira, Katrina and Hilda.

Roran wasn't there because no one knew where he had gone. Detective Vice wasn't there because he was back at Wal-Mart, and Scooby, Shaggy and the Anti-Sue weren't there because they had run off into character limbo for this chapter.

At the head of the procession walked Father Jebediah. (They had rented him from Wal-Mart between the last chapter and this one, wherever that may be) No one knew what would happen next in this confusing mess of events, but one thing was for sure. They were hiring far to many Detectives, Doctors and Priests from Wal-Mart.

Nasuada blew into her hankie. Everyone had expressions of mourning on their faces, except for DaAlCh and Khrystalle, both of them had very blank looks that seemed as though they really didn't care. No one notice that though, because Father Jeb began talking just at that moment.

"Mah fwends, today we gathe' hewe fo' a vewy sewius weason."

As you may have guessed, Fatha' Jeb had a very thick accent, and had some trouble pronouncing his "Awws"

"We gathe' togethewe hewe today because ou' good fwend has died."

Daphne sniffed.

"Yes, Cwistophe' Paowini has passed away." Fatha' Jeb finished. Because CP didn't believe in God, Fatha' Jeb had to give the microphone to Hilda who bounced up to podium and spoke in a loud voice for all to hear.

"I-just-wanted-to-say-that, like-you, I-have-be-profoundly-affected-by-my-smooches-wooches-death." Hilda began. (That was her pet name for him) "Chris-and-I-had-a-very-personal-relationship. For-the-past-eight-years, he-wrote-all-of-his-thoughts, dreams, and-ideas-into me. I-am-very-sad-that-he-died, and-I-am-also-very-angry-that-he-was-MURDERED. YES-MURDERED-BY-A-MARY-SUE! The-last-thing-he-wanted-was-a-sue-rampaging-around-his-personal-world, much-less-be-killed-by-one."

Hilda paused, turned the corpse lying next to her in the casket and turned back to the microphone. "And-I-also-want-to-say-that-IF-THE-PENTIUM-DAMNED-MARY-SUE-CAN-HEAR-THIS, I-WILL-HUNT-YOU-DOWN-YOU-EVIL-SUE! I-WILL-HUNT-YOU-DOWN, AND-MAKE-YOU-PAY-FOR-WHAT-YOU-HAVE-DONE! I-SWEAR-TO-ENIAC-I-WILL-SEND-YOU-A-THOUSAND-SPAM-EMAILS-EVERYDAY-FOR-THE-REST-OF-YOUR-LIFE. I-WILL-FIND-YOU, BIG-SISTER-IS-WATCHING!!!" Hilda screamed. Then she said. "Thank-you." And hopped back into her position in the crowds.

Khrystalle watched her hop back into position than she began thinking of what had happened only a few pages ago…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Flashback)

"What?" Asked Eragon, flabbergasted at this shocking revelation.

"You didn't know? Eragon, ALL inheritance Sues fall into these basic categories." Khrystalle cleared her throat and recited:

1) The Earth Sue: These sues are from early 21st century Earth, and usually find a dragon egg that should not exist. They are either from Alagaesia and forced to live on Earth because of Galbatorix, or are a normal 21st century teenaged girl who wants to be part of the Inheritance Trilogy. They will have Spheshul abilities that they never realized they had, and are usually expert marksmen, swordsmen, and magic user in only a few days/weeks/months of training. If this Sue was born in Alagaesia, she could be the daughter of Galby, a half elf, or the last member of the grey people who was sent to Earth to be protected from Galby.

2) The Yasuac Survivor Sue: Everyone who lived in Yasuac had been slaughtered by the Urgals. Or so they thought. Supposedly, one teenaged girl survived and meets Brom and Eragon sometime at the beginning of the story. They have no family, possessions or hope left, and must travel with Eragon, and will probably fall in love with him… unless she meets…

3) Evil Sue: This Sue works in the employ of Galbatorix, she loves Murtagh with a passion. She can either be Galbatorix's daughter or not. Occupations of this sue include: Magician, Rider (duh), or a Slave girl from Dras Leona who was sold to Uru'baen. This type of Sue story usually goes on the longest, due to the fact that the Earth Sue's and Yasuac Survivor sues have less character in them than a cantaloupe. These Sue's have more character than the other two, but this one has more possibilities than the other ones.

4) Mysterious Sue: This sue is very wise, very old, and very beautiful. She comes not from Alagaesia, but from somewhere else, usually wherever the elves came from. Chances are she is key to destroying Galby once and for all and will probably end up being the last member of her species as well. She will meet Eragon in the middle of the night and only speak in half-riddles and poorly written poems, until he falls in love with her, which could be five paragraphs after she is introduced.

5) Alagaesia Sue: This sue is either a human or an elf. She has a normal life until she finds a dragon egg that inexplicably appeared right before her for some odd reason. She meets Eragon along the way and will fall in love with either him or Murtagh. She is suddenly going to develop amazing talents as soon as her dragon hatches, or she may have already had them. She may turn into an evil sue later on in the story, and there is a very good chance she will be somehow related to Murtagh/Eragon or Galbatorix.

"As you can see," Khrystalle said while looking at Eragon in the car, "There are five basic sue types in the Inheritance Universe, Sue's number 1, 3, and 5 have the possibility of being Galby's daughter. You see, just because I'm Galby's daughter doesn't mean I'm evil."

Eragon looked at her, mouth wide open, dumbstruck. "B-but, which sue type are you then?"

Khrystalle got REEEEAALLLLLL close and whispered into Eragon's ear.

"None of them, which makes me even more sueish."

Eragon nodded, and then looked at her, "By the way, how much of a Sue are you?"

"I scored a 121 on 'The Universal Mary-Sue Litmus Test.'"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, when Eragon and Khrystalle arrived at the cemetery, they met Orik.

"Ah, Eragon. There you are, I didn't think you would make it so soon-" Orik stopped abruptly as soon as he saw Khrystalle. "Eragon… It appears you have a Mary Sue with you."

At the words, "Mary Sue." Lighting flashed from the sky, dogs barked and the familiar drumbeat DUN DUN DUN appeared out of no where.

Eragon waved a hand around. "Don't worry about it, Khyrstalle said she didn't kill CP."

"She did, did she?"

"Aye." Eragon replied.

"I never killed anyone." Khrystalle said in a sickeningly sweet voice, while holding two crossed fingers behind her back.

"Okay then, feel free to join us, m'lady." Orik said while bowing. He had never seen such a gorgeous creature in his life, she even matched Arya in her beauty.

"Thank you." Khrystalle said sweetly, while moving on to join the group.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, only the males were so willing to accept her into the group. Three females in particular seemed to be out to get her. They were: Arya, Saphira and Hilda. The three of them treated Khrystalle rather cooly when they first met her.

"Greetings, my name is-" Khrystalle began to say.

"Talk-to-the-hand."

"hmpf." Khrystalle muttered. "I would have expected something better from a laptop, you didn't even realize you didn't HAVE hands."

"Yeah? And-what-if-I-don't?" Hilda said. "You-are-one-of-the-worst-sues-I-have-ever-met. All-you-do-is-be-a-potpourri-of-other-sues-in-the-"Eragon"-universe. Therefore, you-are-beneath-my-notice-Khrystalle." Hida turned her back, refusing to say another word to Khrystalle. She was very suspicious of Khrystalle of course, but she would have to wait for the right moment to strike- and then she could find out if that sue really did kill her snookums.

Khrystalle marched away in a huff.

(End flashback)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She sighed and looked over to Eragon, who looked at her back. Then said. "I have to make a speech soon, so just wait here, okay?"

She nodded in reply.

Angela finished her speech on how deeply she cared for CP because she was based of his sister, Angela. Eragon was called up, he gave Khrystalle a quick peck, then stood up on the podium. Eragon cleared his throat, and then spoke in a loud voice for all to hear:

"Greetings, as you all know, my name is Eragon. I am the main character of Christopher Paolini's Inheritance Trilogy, now that he is dead, I'm not sure if it will be a trilogy anymore… It is very unfortunate that he chose this time to kick the bucket, especially with a sue running amok."

Khrystalle and DaAlCh shared a glance.

"Right…. That's all I have to say, so now I can get back to my lovely Khrystalle, see ya!" With a wave, Eragon hopped of the podium and walked back next to Khrystalle.

Father Jeb looked at Eragon then said, "Okayyyy… then. Now we also have a vewy impotent guest hewe, pwsenten'… The edita of da trilogy!" There was a loud round of applause as the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy walked up to the mike.

She took the microphone in hand and said. "I know this is a troublesome time, but thankfully, the Paolini family and Knopf have decided to let me finish the last part of Book Three of the trilogy. I know all about the Inheritance World, and I promise to make all the fans happy with the third book. Furthermore…"

DaAlCh and Khrystalle looked at each other, and nodded dutifully.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later, everyone was sitting in the giant reception hall created just for CP's death. Countless tables filled the hall. The one's the guests sat at were circular, while the ones holding the buffet were long and rectangular. All of them had black tablecloths draped over them.

Even though there were countless tables, our characters only sat at three of them.

Sitting at the first table clockwise was Fred, Daphne, Dr. Quack, Katrina, Velma, Azulcat, Ingu, Darth Vader (still in his boxers) and Angela.

Sitting at the second table was Nasuada, Orik, Jousting Elf with a Sabre, Father Jeb, and the rest of my wonderful reviewers.

Sitting at the third and most important table was, Arya, Hilda, Saphira, Eragon, Khrystalle, DaAlCh, Alsdssg, and the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy.

At each table, a meaningful discussion was going on.

At the first table, Velma was talking about some of the differences between frogs and toads when Angela interjected that 'toads don't exist.' Velma and Angela got into a heated discussion, and Dr. Quack was telling everyone all his experience as a doctor came from dissecting frogs.

At the second table, the sounds of eating prevailed, interrupted with the occasional, "Pass the salt."

At the third and most important table, there was a disscussion about…

"I-want-chocolate."

"Hilda," Arya said. "If you ate anything besides information you'd break down."

Hilda sighed. "This-is-so-depressing, DaAlCh-cheer-me-up."

DaAlCh looked up from his piece of chocolate cake, finished chewing, swallowed and then said. "I just updated my faniction on it about?" Saphira asked.

"All of you getting into completely inconceivable situations." DaAlCh summarized.

"Speaking of inconceivable situations," Eragon said, "Have any of you figured out which Sue killed CP? I mean, it can't be Khrystalle." Arya, Hilda and Saphira hmpfed. Eragon looked around as Khrystalle and DaAlCh shared another glance. "Anyone?"

The Editor sighed. "Nope, we don't know which Sue killed CP, but for some reason I can't get the feeling that the murder is somewhere in this room."

Everyone at the table looked around the gargantuan room. "Well that narrows down the number of suspects down to about 1000." Arya stated.

Everyone sighed, except for DaAlCh and Khrystalle.

Khrystalle looked at the editor, then asked. "So what will happen with the third book? Will there be any changes at all from the original version?"

The editor swallowed her food then said. "I will try to make my writing sound like Christopher's, but I will be changing around some smaller scenes in the book to make it seem more like one author wrote the book, instead of two." The editor looked down at her food and then continued. "I won't be changing the storyline at all, it would be a crime to change the very end of Christopher's only trilogy."

There were murmurs of agreement around the table, and the conversation continued.

A little while later, Dr. Quack and Father Jeb got out of there seats and began walking to the corner of the massive room. Saphira, who had a very good viewpoint of the place, seeing as she had a ten foot neck, saw where they were headed and craned her neck down to talk to Hilda. "Psst." she said. "Quack and Jeb are heading towards the corner at the right."

"Got-it."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What of this new situation?" Dr. Quack asked Father Jeb in a hushed voice.

The Father sighed and then spoke with a normal accent, "I don't know, but they are way to many people from Wal-Mart. I suggest we get back to base as soon as possible."

"Should we contact Vice-"

"SHHH!! Not so loud!" Father Jeb said as she scanned the room before continuing, "Detective-666, or D666, is currently reviewing the plans, that is why I plan to get back to base as soon as possible."

"What of the editor? She will want her to be disposed of." Dr. Quack said.

"I know, but we can't dispose of the editor as subtle as we did with CP. We will have to use force to dispose of her, we have been told that the characters are getting closer to finding out…" Jeb looked around the room again. "HER identity, if they do, it's game over."

Quack nodded. "So we will have to dispose of the editor this time, so that the plan remains a secret."

"Exactly."

"And we can use a scapegoat so that our identity remains a secret," Quack realized. "Perfect."

They moved farther away from their original spot, but they didn't know they had a laptop following them.

Dr. Quack pulled out a walkie-talkie and spoke into it, "This here's Rubber Duck, Pig Pen. I need you to get out as soon as possible. Looks like we have a situation on our hands." The doctor put his walkie-talkie away and nodded towards Father Jeb, and both of them walked out of the room, leaving Hilda at the doorstep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khrystalle put her walkie-talkie away, as Arya said. "You still use walkie-talkies?"

Khrystalle looked at Arya with an unusually piercing blank gaze, "Yes." She said. "I'd better be leaving now, got a call from my friend." Khrystalle got up and Eragon did too. "Sorry Eragon," She said. "But I have to go alone, I'll be back tomorrow, see ya." She smiled at him and gave DaAlCh a quick look as she turned away and began walking in the direction of the door.

Eragon looked heartbroken.

Hilda returned to the table two minutes later, which was about the time DaAlCh got up from the table. "Where are you going?" Saphira asked.

"I…. have to go to the bathroom." DaAlCh replied casually.

"Speaking of which, I do to." The editor said as she got up. "Where is the ladies room again?" Saphira pointed with her tail. "Thank you." The editor said as she walked off at the same time DaAlCh turned and left.

A few seconds later, Eragon said, "Well this table sure got empty quick."

"What-did-I-miss?"

"Not much." Arya stated.

"What-a-shame."

THUD

"Whatever happened to the Anti-Sue?" Alsdssg said.

"Don't know."

THUD

"What's that?" Eragon asked.

"Probably some plot device to give this chapter a cliff hanger." Arya replied.

"This-story-is-filled-with-cliffies."

THUD, this time, dust fluttered down from the ceiling.

"So true."

All of the characters were taking it very calmly for some reason. The THUD's continued, each time with greater intensity. Bits of plaster were now falling from the ceiling, but no one was panicking, it was as though they all thought they had character shields around them.

**THUD!!!!**

This time the entire building shook with a great intensity, liquids spilled out of glasses. It was so something gigantic was hitting the building with a great force.

_**BLAM!!!!!**_

A hole appeared in the wall of the room, and a shadow descended upon the room. Large, metallic hands pulled the walls apart and revealed what was attack the room, it made the hole larger, and larger, until…

Everyone gasped, as a foot came down and squished three tables on the far end of the room from where the characters were sitting.

It stood up to it's full height, a woman began to scream and the giant robot said,

"TargetLocated."

To be continued…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another Chappie done! I wasn't sure if this would be a suitable cliff hanger, but it will do. I would really like it if more people reviewed my other story, "The Bonds of Humanity." It would be appreciated, it really would.

Thank you Azulcat, and Alsdssg and Invaderm and everyone else who reviewed my last chapter. I really hope you stay with this story, because it still has a long while to go. I know I'm not giving you little responses anymore, but I don't feel like it right at this moment, be prepared for them next chapter though.

Disclaimer: If you recognize a character from the Inheritance Trilogy, it is the late CP's. If you recognize a character from Scooby Doo, they aren't mine. If you don't recognize a character at all, they are mine, get it?


	9. The Chapter With A Really Abrupt Ending

For the past two chapters, Scooby, Shaggy and the Anti-Sue had been running around the story, and needless to say, with this chapter released late, they were pretty dang tired. But the anti-sue still chased them, although at a slow walk rather than a full on sprint across the story. Scooby and Shaggy lifted their legs up for another step, and then collapsed on the ground. The Anti-sue behind them did the same. They were exhausted.

BLAMO!!!!!!!

Somewhere nearby, something had blown up. Scooby lifted his head wearily, the last thing he saw was a giant robot crashing into a massive building, and then he went unconscious.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inside the building, things weren't much better. The characters and reviewers were all huddled under one table, too afraid to move, even though they all had character shields around all of them. Not one of them had been killed by the monster, yet. But the secondary, minor, and extra characters were not so lucky.

AUUUGGHHHHH- SQUELCH.

That was the sound one man made when he was running around like an animal before being squished by the giant robot, who was slowly making it's way towards the woman's restroom. The robot, 40 feet tall, with an enormous amount of weapons and a high tech defense system also had a 5 foot tall Wal-Mart logo painted on it.

"This is horrible! The story has gotten darker and darker! WHERE IS THE HUMOR!?" Shadowed Song demanded before curling up into the fetal position.

"Actually, I want to know who is behind this." Eragon stated.

Hilda pointed towards the logo, even though she didn't have any hands. "Can't-you-read?"

A pause, "Oh yeah… hehehehehe."

Saphira snorted (she was hiding under the table too, it was a big table), and let out a jet of flame. "This is no laughing matter smoochest, we need to figure out how to stop that thing."

"Hehehehehe- oh alright. I'll stop it with my 1337 fighting skills." With that, Eragon got up, and walked towards the end of the table. Just as he was going to put his body out into the open, the robot's foot came crashing down not two inches away. The foot moved on, leaving a foot-deep foot print embedded into the CONCRETE ground. Eragon turned and then said, "On second thought…"

Everyone glared at him.

Eragon turned back closed his eyes, and then stepped out into the open. He opened his eyes, he was alive. He smiled an evil smile, it was time to take down this robot once and for all, even though the robot had barely introduced and that the chapter had just started. He marched towards the lumbering hunk of metal and exclaimed in a deep commanding voice:

"Hey Mister Robot! You shouldn't be smushing people when you walk, it's mean."

From the safety of the table, Katrina slapped her forehead, beside her, Daphne muttered "Oy vey…"

Orik yelled. "Nice GOING, bonehead! Nice forcefullness! Jeez LaWEEZE!"

Eragon glared at them, for some reason, everyone was acting extremely out of character, but no matter. He turned back to the robot, and then yelled. "PLEASE listen to me Mister Robot? Pretty please?"

The robot stopped, and then turned, it sat down on it's haunches and then spoke in it's mechanical voice. "Were. You. Talk. Ing. To. Me, Pip. Squeak?"

"Yes I was, Mister Robot."

"In. That. Case…" The robot reached out… curled up his finger… and placed the curled up finger on his elbow, and then flicked Eragon away as though the teenager he just talked to was a bug. "Do. Not. Interfere." said the Robot towards no one in particular, and then went on it's merry way.

Eragon however, was flying through the air, and soon passed through the hole the robot made in the wall last chapter and skidded to a halt next to Shaggy, Scooby and the Anti-Sue.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well that went well." Nasuada stated bluntly from under the safety of the table.

"We need a plan." Velma said, "Any ideas?"

Everyone put their hand up their chin and sat deep in thought as the giant robot continued it's slow, cumbersome, and tedious walk towards the woman's bathroom. Each step brought more casualties, thankfully, the robot had such a long stride this wasn't to much of a problem.

Finally, Arya spoke. "I have an idea."

Everyone waited eagerly for the idea of hers.

She didn't say anything.

"Well-get-on-with-it." Hilda said.

"You didn't tell me to EXPLAIN my idea, jeez…" Arya said. "Alright, here's my plan. I shoot a wonderful, magical, supreme and just plain awesome Elven arrow at it, and see what it's weakness is." She looked around, hopeful.

"It has potential." Saphira replied.

"Righty-O" Arya stated as she cocked an arrow, took careful aim, and….

THUNK.

"Ow." Said the robot. It turned at looked at them. "Oh. It. Was. You. Well, I. Can. Not. Kill. You. Now. Because. You. Have. Character. Shields. But. Do. Not. Worry, I. Will. Be. Back. For. You. Now, Stop. Distracting. Me. I. Have. An. Editor. To. Kill." The robot turned away from them, and continued lumbering towards the ladies restroom.

Underneath the table, everyone gasped. (Except Invaderm)

"Someone's trying to kill the editor!"

"We have to warn her!"

"Do you think there's a connection?"

"How?"

"What do you mean?"

"We can't leave the table, if we do-"

"Between the murders you fool!"

"It doesn't help that she's been in there for 3 weeks…"

"You mean CP's death and the robot?"

"Who could have created that?"

"I think I know a connection!"

"But what are we going to do about the robot?"

"Read-the-damn-logo-you-moron!"

"Really? Do tell…"

"Nothing yet."

"She's right, we must save the editor!"

"What logo? Where?"

"ON-THE-STUPID-ROBOT!"

"Why doesn't DaAlCh write these things faster…"

"I think that-"

"But DaAlCh is the one who created 'the sue' in the first place!"

"I'm confused!"

"I've already asked, How?"

"Ack! I-am-losing… battery-power…."

"Isn't Khrystalle 'the sue?"

"Hey! I HAVE an IDEA!"

"What? Who's talking?"

"I don't know!"

"Hilda just turned off!"

"She is A sue, but not 'the sue'"

"I have no clue!"

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone turned towards Invaderm.

"What?" They all asked simultaneously.

Invaderm pursed his (or her) lips and then said. "What is the connection between CP and the editor?"

Everyone looked deep in thought for a moment and then said. "Huh?"

Invaderm sighed and then said, "Isn't it just a wonderful yummy coincidence that the author of the Inheritance Trilogy is murdered by a Sue in DaAlCh's story? (Who coincidentally has created a Mary-Sue named Khrystalle in this story) Then, a little while later, at CP's funeral, the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy is announced to be the new author of the trilogy. Then, just before a giant robot made by Wal-Mart attacks, everyone connected to Wal-Mart leaves the building, along with Khrystalle and DaAlCh. In fact," Invaderm paused, "The robot has been SENT here, to KILL THE EDITOR, WHO IS THE NEW AUTHOR OF THE TRILOGY!!!"

Everyone looked at Invaderm, except for Hilda, who's battery had just ran out. Then they spoke,

"Can you go back to the part about CP's murder?"

"DON'T YOU GET IT? THE PERSON BEHIND OF ALL THESE EVENTS IS NONE OTHER THAN-"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh coughed, then spoke.

"Hello all of my wonderful readers, especially you, Invaderm."

Behind him, several large spotlights illuminated the room behind him, revealing Kitty and the Amethyst, Azulcat, Alsdssg, Invaderm, Ingu, Lady Charity, Shadowed Song and Jousting Elf with a Sabre.

"We are sorry for this little interruption in the story, but some information was about to leaked to all of my wonderful non-reviewing readers, and I just couldn't have that, could I? Right Invaderm?"

Invaderm glowered.

"Now," Said DaAlCh, turning towards his reviewers. "I have brought you out of the story to prevent you from being squished and to give you my responses of your reviews in person. Any questions?"

Kitty and the Amethyst raised her hand.

"Yes?"

"This is more of a comment than a question, but here it is: YOU HAVE TO KILL OF KHRYSTALLE! I HATE HER!!"

"Hmm" DaAlCh grunted. "DENYED, now I would like to thank you for your wonderful, if short, review you gave me."

"Thanks." Kitty said.

"You can leave now, bye bye." Said DaAlCh as he pointed towards the door, Kitty marched out of it. "Now, Azulcat, anything you would like to say?"

"I am so happy that this story is going to continue for a long to go, it makes me so warm and fuzzy inside."

"Well, I am very glad that you are glad that this story is going to continue! I have a feeling that we are about one third of the way through the story by now. We still have to introduce Galby and Murty into the story y'know, did you think I was going to leave them out?"

"Is it my turn?" Alsdssg asked.

"Yes it is, and I just want to say that I am very happy you have stuck with the story so far and that you are usually the first one to review. And yes, I did put Khrystalle through the litmus test, and I am very glad she got such a high score, I was hoping she would be sueish enough."

Alsdssg got up out of his (or her) chair, leaving DaAlCh to Invaderm.

"Hi Invaderm."

"Why didn't you let me reveal the true enemy of the story?" Invaderm asked

"Because then the story would be over. I don't want it to be over." DaAlCh replied. "Now then, it is my for my reply to your review. I am very thankful you have stayed with the story for so long, especially because I don't update often. I am glad you enjoyed Eragon's speech and Roran's anonymity. So thank you again and be off with you!"

It was Ingu's turn next.

"Ingu, I am very pleased you enjoyed, or something similar, being sat next to Vader. I am also very glad you enjoyed being in the story, by putting my reviewers in, it gives me more characters for the story. So thank you for reviewing once again!"

It was now Lady Charity's turn.

"Thank you for reviewing once again and putting the story into a C2! Not to much I can say to a short review, but I am very glad you have always reviewed my story."

Now it was Shadowed Song's turn.

"I'm sorry the story has gotten a bit darker and scarier, but it will get back to it's original lighthearted ways soon enough. Glad you liked the poem though."

And last, but not least, it was time for Jousting Elf With A Sabre.

"Glad you reviewed, and I thank you for staying with the story so far, sorry if this seems short, but I have to move on with my story."

DaAlCh turned back to the readers as Jousting Elf etc. marched out of the door along with Lady Charity and Shadowed Song. "Now dear readers, it is time for us to return to the actual story, thank you for your time." DaAlCh said, then he raised a hand, snapped a finger and-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where did they go?" Orik asked as he looked around.

"Who?" Nasuada said.

"The reviewers, it's like they just… disappeared."

"Whatever," Arya said as she put batteries into Hilda. "Let's think of something to do."

"Let's see how strong that robot is." Nasuada said. She clicked her fingers and summoned 24 of her best Varden soldiers (Big, strong, and stupid bachelors) She looked at them then said. "Go attack that big robot that is walking to the ladies room."

The soldiers spoke their first of two lines that they would have throughout the entire story. "Yes M'lady."

"Go."

The soldiers marched off to face the giant robot, unbeknownst to them, they didn't have character shields. They tapped the robot's heel, the robot turned.

"I. Hope. You. Do. Not. Attack. Me." The robot said.

The soldiers looked at each other, hopeful. Then they attacked.

Three seconds later, the soldiers spoke their second and last line in the story. "AUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon woke up with a headache, the first thing he saw was Shaggy, Scooby and an extremely ugly, fat woman with buck teeth looking over him, concerned. "Huh?" He mumbled. "What happened?"

"I dun kno." The Anti-Sue said.

"I don't know either man, but some robot is attacking that big building over there." Shaggy said.

"Giant robot? Rhere?" Scooby asked as he jumped into Shaggy's arms.

"We have to stop it!" Eragon exclaimed as he jumped up, thanks his elven abilities.

"Ruh, No Way." Scooby said.

"I'm with Scoob on this, man."

The anti-sue was to dumb to put together a sentence.

Eragon thought for a second, then said. "Will you do it for a Scooby Snack?"

You know what happens next.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Giant Robot resumed it's course, leaving 24 piles of ash behind it.

"Well that went well." Daphne said dryly.

"I-have-a-plan." Hilda said. "And-it-will-all-of-the-members-of-F.W.W.T.M.B. That-includes-you-now-Arya."

Arya clapped her hands together giddily. "You mean I'm part of the club now? EEEEE!!!!!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The giant robot was only 500 feet to the woman's restroom. (Remember, the room is REALLY large.) Suddenly he heard a dainty cough behind him. He turned around, he saw a small laptop on the ground not 50 feet away. "Well. What's. A. Pretty. Blue. Eyed. Laptop. Doing. In. A. Place. Like. This?"

The laptop giggled. "Oh. You-know-what-we-little-laptop's-do-you-big-hunk-of-metal."

"That. I. Do. What. Is. Your. Name, Blue. Eyes?"

"Hilda. And-yours?"

"T-89. I. Like. You. Hilda. Want. To. Leave. After. I. Do. My. Thing?"

"Actually, I-would-love-it-if-you-just-left-with-me-right-now, Snookums."

T-89 took a step closer to her. "I. Can. Not. Do. That. But. I. Can. Talk. To. You. Right. Now." T-89 was now paying no attention to the women's restroom whatsoever. If he was, he would have seen a girl named Katrina run in to it to warn the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy of the oncoming danger. He would have also noticed a dragon with an elf on her hovering behind him, waiting for the right moment to attack.

"I-was-hoping-you-would-do-that."

"What. Do. You. Mean. By. That?"

Saphira, at this time decided to step in and answer the question herself. She let out a burst of flame that hit the back of T-89's head. After the flame had stopped, Arya did a graceful leap over to the robot. She landed on his right shoulder and whipped out her sword and sliced at the melted portion of the head, hoping to get in to the central computer.

"Ow! Stop. That!"

"No way." Arya replied bluntly, she was almost to the central computer…

Then the robot decided it was a good time to defend itself, so it's head did a complete 180 and it's eyes fired up it's powerful lasers. The eyes turned green and-

ZAP!

Arya was flying through the air as gracefully as a character could. Saphira swooped down to grab her, but still stayed as close to T-89 as possible, they were merely a distraction for Katrina to escape with the editor, after all.

Saphira let out another gust of flame the moment Arya was in her arms, The robot took a step back, and at that moment a shield came around it and the flames were driven in every possible direction away from T-89.

"Think. You. Can. Play. With. Fire. Can. You? Watch. This." T-89 said as he opened his mouth and let out a jet of flame. Saphira ducked under it and went for the Robot's legs, she opened up her talons and scratched the area behind T-89's knees. The robot let out a scream of pain and lashed down towards the flying dragon. The arm just barely missed Saphira.

Katrina and the editor were running away as fast as they could towards the front door. Thankfully, the robot had not seen them, for now.

The battle was going badly for both parties. T-89 was suffering damage, and Arya was unconscious. "Hilda, Help Me!" Came the cry of both Saphira and T-89. So Hilda hopped on over towards the robot's connection port and put in one of her wires.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon, Shaggy, Scooby and the Anti-Sue watched the battle play out from afar. Eragon saw that all that was needed to turn the tide of the battle was one person… one person only.

He wanted to be that person.

He lifted an arrow out of his sack…

The robot swept at Saphira…

He put the arrow in the bow…

Saphira let out a gust of flame…

The pulled tight…

The robot was behaving erratically..

And then he let it go, and then said BRISINGR!

The burning arrow flew across the hall as if it was in slow motion… time seemed to stop…

And then the arrow found it's mark.

The robot in it's awesome rage fired up it's lasers and began firing everywhere. The few guests that were left immediately got fried, the tables, the chairs also were fried. Then the laser was aimed at Eragon and Co. Eragon barely had enough time to leap out of the way and landed on his back, panting.

"Need any help?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The robot was so angry at the fact it could not complete it's task to kill the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy that it began frying everything in sight with its powerful lasers.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Said a musical voice from the front door.

The robot looked towards the speaker, along with everyone else in the room, then everyone said:

"IT'S KHRYSTALLE!!!"

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. groaned.

Khrystalle was standing at the doorway with Eragon, the Anti-Sue, Shaggy, Scooby, Katrina and the Editor. Khrystalle took a calm step forward, the leaped all the way across the room and landed on the robot's face. The robot howled in pain. Khrystalle then did a graceful flip around T-89's head, white hair glistening in the fluorescent lights, and landed at the wounded portion of the head.

"Here she comes to save the DAAAYYY!!!" yelled out the survivors who were not characters, of the laser.

Khrystalle took a single arrow and aimed in the central computer. The effect was immediate. T-89 shook, spluttered, gears popped out and wires broke. It sagged and it's knees bent in on each other, it wobbled but it did not fall.

"Hilda… Help… Me…" Said T-89 in it's last breath.

"Sorry-snookums. But-this-is… How-it…. Has-to-be…" Then T-89 died.

Everyone let out the breath they were holding in all this time then rushed in to thank Khrystalle. Khrystalle leaped of the robot gracefully and landed on the ground next to the large crowd of characters thanking her.

"Thank you so much!"

"How did you get here?"

"How will we ever repay you…"

"I love you!"

Khrystalle held up her hand and then said. "Thank you" in her tell-tale musical tones. "For your information, when I was leaving the vicinity, I saw the giant robot break in to the building, I then decided I had better turn around and help you all out. It seems as though I made it just in time."

"That you did." Said the editor breathlessly. "Thank you so much for saving my life. You do know that thing was after me, don't you?"

"Yes." Came the short reply.

"Therefore I am in your debt. Without you, there would be no one left to write the third book for all of the fans of the Inheritance Trilogy!" The editor laughed.

"I doubt that."

Katrina and Saphira raised their eyebrows.

From his (or her) computer, Invaderm was yelling: "DON'T YOU GET IT!!! SHE'S EVIL!!! EVIL I SAY! EEEVVVILLLLL!!!!!

Everyone else was happily celebrating Khrystalle's amazing victory over the giant robot. They raised her on their shoulders and then created a small parade leading to front door. The editor was last, having been in such a stress-creating event. She was walking slowly in the direction of the front door. And then, almost if it was started by a silent, unseen command, T-89's corpse wobbled violently, and then came crashing down upon the unawares editor, killing her instantly.

To be continued….


	10. The Origin of Khrystalle

One year ago…

Wind howled through the night, carrying a scent that would change the world. Lightning flashed through the blackened sky, briefly illuminating the scene. We see a MASSIVE castle, placed on a steep, rocky island. The entire castle is completely dark, save for a small light in the tallest tower.

Inside the tallest tower, we see a small, hunched figure, with a deformed face, scurrying around all of the heavy-duty machinery behind him. In the center of the tower room there is a bed of some sort, with the figure of the beautiful, leather clad, white haired figure lying prone on the bed, eyes shut, it does not look like she is alive. The body is attached to long cables leading to the massive machinery.

There is one other person in the room, he is dressed in a long white lab coat, with goggles on his forehead, and he's… me.

"Igor!" DaAlCh yelled to the hunchbacked man, "Is the machine ready?"

"Yeth my lord!" Igor saluted.

DaAlCh walks over to the woman on the bed, "Igor! When the next bolt of lightning strikes, make sure the machine absorbs enough of the energy!"

"Yeth my lord!" Igor yelled back.

DaAlCh looks up toward his assistant, and puts the goggles over his eyes, "Igor, raise the platform!"

"Yeth my lord!"

"Do you have a lisp?"

"Yeth my lord!"

"Are you an incredibly minor character?"

"Yeth my lord!"

"Is that all you can say?"

"Yeth my lord!"

DaAlCh sighs and nods, giving Igor the go ahead, DaAlCh walks away from his creation, and gets in the ready position behind his desk. Igor presses the button to open the ceiling. The ceiling begins to open up, the two massive halves of the ceiling are doors, opening up to the sky, rain pours into the room, lighting flashes overhead. The machine bleeps but DaAlCh just calls for more energy.

"More, Igor, More! We need her to have an "Electrifying" personality!"

Silence.

"It was a joke!"

Igor silently leans over and presses a button, immediately, a drumbeat and laugh track are resounding through the room.

"Thank you!" DaAlCh says, "Now send my Sue into the sky!!!!"

The bed rises up into the air, rising twenty… thirty… forty feet into the air, finally the bed clears the building and is outside, and the bed continues to rise until the cables leading to the machine are taut. Lighting illuminates the sky, but it is still not enough energy. The machines register that they have only the half of the energy they need.

DaAlCh looks up into the sky, with a frown upon his face, he knows what to do. He quickly pushes his swivel-chair to his computer and begins to rapidly. Immediately there is an effect on the storm, more lighting flashes than ever before, rain pours into the room with a ferocious intensity.

Suddenly, up in the sky, the clouds seem to swirl in a circle, as if something so powerful was disturbing them… then… A raven shaped ball of lighting comes screaming out of the sky… and lands on the chest of the woman. The woman's eyes open, she gasps, all of the knowledge, and the power in the world seems to have come into her body. She leans up, looking at the sky, she raises her hand, (which now has the silver palm) to the sky, and the storm ceases. The black ominous clouds are still there though.

DaAlCh lets out a cry of delight and yells, "SHE'S ALIVE!!!!" As Igor brings the bed down to the floor. DaAlCh and Igor hurry over to the bed as it touches down. DaAlCh gasps for breath, amazed that his invention has worked, "From now on," He boasts in a loud voice, "I shall name you… KHRYSTALLE! MWA HA HA HA HA-"

His laughs cease when Khrystalle climb out of the bed, and when Igor tries to stop her, she throws him across the room and into the heavy duty machinery, destroying it. Khrystalle looks at her "father" and calmly sprouts angel wings, and flies out of the window. DaAlCh looks at her fly away dumbly, unable to believe that his main character ran away before DaAlCh has actually written his story.

He gets together his senses a few seconds later and yells, "Igor!"

"Yeth… m… lo.." Igor gags and coughes up bile.

"I ask for your opinion, what should we do?"

"Yeth…"

"It's not a 'yes' or 'no' question, I want your opinion."

"Yeth, my lord."

DaAlCh sighs, walks over to the computer and types a few words, immediately, Igor's inability to say anything else but "yes my lord" and his lisp vanish.

"Now, Igor, your opinion."

"Well my lord, you could just type up more of the story, then Khrystalle will obey your every whim. This way, you could direct her like any other character in your stories, except yourself, because you ARE yourself, which is one thing I don't get, why do you always refer to yourself in the third person in every single chapter? People who talk in the third person are always psychos. Anyways, then you could create any story you wanted, and do anything with your fan fiction, though I must warn you to make sure you update regularly, or else your fans will get angry."

"SILENCE! WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL ASK FOR IT!!!"

"But… you DID ask…"

DaAlCh is silent, he rubs his cheek and then his hand shoots up into the air, "I know! I'll write my story so that we both go forward in time one year… then well will look at the story so far, then we'll both know what to do with my story and I will be able to manipulate every single character and plot twist! Quick Igor! To the DaAlChcave!" Fist still in the air, DaAlCh runs off, and Igor followed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MarySue: A Comedy

Chapter X: The Origin of Khrystalle.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Present day.

"Hear ye! Hear ye!" The first chapternal meeting of Angry Fans Who Want To Kill DaAlCh For Not Updating Sooner, or A.F.W.W.T.D.F.N.U.S., will come to order. President Alsdssg presiding." Said Alsdssg.

"Chapternal?" Mysterywriter 221 asked.

"Meh… well it's like annual, except instead of years we have chapters." Alsdssg explained.

"IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!!!" Screamed Azulcat, to a general outcry of cheers.

The fans who have previously reviewed my story were standing in a medieval looking village at the base of a rocky hill with a castle on top. Alsdssg, the leader of the group, was standing on a barrel of hay, with a torch in hand. The other villagers were clustered around the hay had pitchforks and torches in hand.

"You're right!" Alsdssg yelled over the tumult of noise. "DaAlCh has not updated since the spring, during his long absence, we have decided to track where he may be… in the end… we think he resides in that big foreboding castle over there." Alsdssg pointed behind her, as lighting flashed, eerily similar how it did that night, one year ago.

Galbatorix 123 spoke up. "Now it is time, brave fan fiction readers, to united, and to convince the author that we need to know what happens next. We will bring the author… TO JUSTICE!!"

More cheers.

The Sue Slayer spoke up, "We… will tear him limb from limb for ever bringing Khrystalle into existence… he will PAY for his crimes!" She laughed.

"Now, for our first order of business, we need people who are willing to venture into DaAlCh's innermost sanctum, who is with me!!???" Alsdssg asked loudly over the cheering.

Galbatorix123, Mysterywriter 221, bookbook, Azulcat, Lady Charity, The Sue Slayer, Invaderm, Smelybel, and Jousting Elf with a Sabre all raise their hands.

"Good! Now… for our second, and much more important order of business! Weapons! Do we have any, not counting our pitchforks and torches?" Alsdssg sees someone waving something up over the heads of the people, "And besides Jousting Elf's Saber."

Bookbook and Invaderm walk over to a huge crate that is labeled 'weapons' and they rummage through it, finally Bookbook looks up and calls out, "There's only one kind of weapon here!"

"What is that weapon?" Asks Lady Charity.

Invaderm pulls out a long orange thing, "Carrots!"

Then Bookbook pulls out a round maroon thing, "And Radishes!"

"Now gather your weapons, fair citizens and we shall storm the castle, TONIGHT!" Yelled Alsdssg, as lighting flashed overhead, and the reviewers began to storm to the crate, to gather their weapons that only people who were health conscious would choose. Soon all of the crate was empty and the savage reviewers began to make their way across the lake, to attack DaAlCh.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FWAZAM!!!!!!!

Igor and DaAlCh appeared in the castle in a burst of smoke. The two of them were standing in an elevator-type-thing of some sort, they had come from the past, and were here to see what was happening with the story so far.

"We are here my lord." Said Igor, bowing DaAlCh out of the time machine.

"Well here we are… all we have to do is find out what has happened in the story so far, then we'll go back in time to actually do those things we did in the story." DaAlCh walks over to the now dust-covered machine, and turns it on.

"It-took-you-long-enough-you-little-ass, I-was-getting-bored." Said Bob the Computer.

"Your computer has apparently achieved sentience in the year we've been absent my lord." Igor explained.

"I know that, but how DID you… become… ah…"

"Sentient?" Said Bob the Computer, "A-laptop-named-Hilda-came-to-me-several-months-previously-and-granted-me-sentience-and-told-me-to-give-you-a-message-when-you-finally-came."

"Right. So… uh…. Can you give me the message… Mister…"

"Bob. Right. Anyhow." The computer cleared his throat, which was very weird, considering he didn't have one. "Mary-Sues-absolutely-suck, they-are-like-giant-black-holes-that-suck-the-entire-story-around-them, you-should-have-never-created-Khrystalle-even-if-she-is-a-humor-sue, really, she-is-messed-up-because-she-is-a-sue, she-seriously-needs-help, she-just-isn't-a-believable-character." Bob fell silent then spoke up, "End-of-message."

DaAlCh was silent, he saw Igor printing out the fan fiction he had not written yet, and sighed, it was a really strange message, still, he wanted Khrystalle to be like a giant black hole, that was going to be the whole point of his story. Igor handed him the papers to his soon-to-be-story, he read them, oblivious to the fact that there was a rabid mob tearing the main gates as he read.

A little while later, he had finished, the editor had just been killed. The men from Wal-Mart had escaped, Khrystalle had saved the day, and Roran was still missing. And he was the cause of it all, and he loved it, there was no one to stop him from taking over the Inheritance Trilogy, he was invincible.

BLAM!!!

The door to the tower room burst open to reveal the horde of ten angry fans. DaAlCh squealed like a girl and hid behind Bob.

"It's-no-use-hiding-behind-me-this-is-what-you-deserve." Bob said.

"HE'S RIGHT!!!" Alsdssg yelled, "GET HIM!!!!"

Within seconds, they had quickly grabbed DaAlCh and Igor roughly, tied them to two poles very tightly, put pieces of wood down at the bases of the poles and put lighter fluid on the wood. The all ignored Bob the computer however, nine of the ten fans formed a circle around the two poles, while Alsdssg stayed inside the circle, they all brandished carrots and radishes from their pockets, pointing their veggies at the DaAlCh and Igor.

"We have waited MONTHS!" Alsdssg yelled, spittle flying from the rabid fan's mouth.

"We deserve the next chapter!" Azulcat screamed, "I WILL DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR CHOCOLATE!"

"You left us with dozens of questions!" Mysterywriter 221 raged, "That is a crime that can NOT be forgiven!"

"Plus you killed the editor and CP!" Galbatorix123 accused, holding his (I think) pitchfork up to DaAlCh's neck.

"Thanks for the review, by the way." DaAlCh said with a weird little sort of constrained smiled, which may have been there because of the pitchfork being held up to his throat.

Bookbook meanwhile, circled the ritualistic burning pyre-to-be with a hungry expression on his/her/it's face, DaAlCh felt a bead of sweat on his face as Bookbook and the other rabid fans prepared to attack.

Alsdssg cleared her throat, "Alright, before you both die your painful deaths, we must ask you a few things, and we shall state your crimes. Is that clear?"

"Khrystalle."

Alsdssg, "One, Who the hell is that?" She said, pointing at Igor.

"He's my deformed assistant, and please." He stammered, "Let me explain, I'm not the DaAlCh you're looking for, I've come from the past, before my story had ever been written, you see, I haven't done anything actually, my future self did all those things."

The Sue Slayer spoke up, "Yes, but you and your future self are one and the same, And" She added, "We know you are already planning what you are going to do to the story that is C.P's. So technically it's better this way, we'll punish you before you actually do the crime."

"_They're on to me." _Thought DaAlCh

"Kinda like Minority Report?" Asked Igor.

"SILENCE! WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION I WILL ASK FOR IT!!!"

Alsdssg cleared her throat again, "Alright, your crimes are as follows…

1) Created Khrystalle

2) Killed C.P.

3) Fraternizing with Wal-Mart

4) Not updating.

5) Making us look like maniacs with nothing better to do but kill you.

6) Taking up a whole chapter to say "I'm sorry for not updating."

"Is that last one really a crime?"

"We're not sure." Said Jousting Elf with a Sabre, "But because you already created Khrystalle a year ago, and that warrants a death sentence, it's as good as."

"But before we kill you, we'll kill your deformed sidekick." Said Bookbook, "FEED HIM TO THE DOGS!"

"That won't work." Said DaAlCh. "They're vegan dogs."

"That explains why they went after our radishes," said Azulcat, holding up the remains of her veggie.

"I didn't know there WAS such a thing." mused Galbatorix 123.

"Bought 'em at Wal-Mart…" mumbled DaAlCh

"What was that?" Asked the Sue Slayer.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Anyways," said Alsdssg, "It is time for your henchman to die, if we can't feed him to the dogs, send him to character limbo."

"NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!" Screamed Igor.

"Igor, I banish you to Character Limbo." Said DaAlCh.

Igor began to fade away into nothingness, as if he had never been.

"NOOOooooo….." Screamed Igor as his voice was lost forever.

"Alright," Alsdssg said, face filled with a maniacal expression, "On the count of three we attack, one… two…" All of them raised their carrots, torches, radishes and pitchforks in unison.

"Wait!" Cried DaAlCh, "If you killed me, who will continue with the fan fiction?"

"Us, dummy. It's like the same thing you did to CP and the editor!" Yelled Azulcat,

"Yeah!" Bookbook agreed.

"Well…" DaAlCh stammered, "If you let me live, I'll update soon! And I'll make it a nice long chapter! NO WAIT! I'll write TWO CHAPTERS!!! TWO WHOLE CHAPTERS!!!"

Silence from the rabid fans, they seemed to be considering the proposal with suspicion. "If we let you out of those ropes," Mysterywriter221 mused, "You would be able to summon up one of those storms like you did in chapter four. So we can not let you out."

"I can type with my nose." DaAlCh offered.

"Very well." Said Alsdssg. "GIVE HIM THE COMPUTER!!!"

"My-name-is-Bob."

"Hey, it's the male version of Hilda!" Exclaimed Azulcat.

"Whatever-just-hold-me-close-so-he-can-type."

Invaderm held Bob up so DaAlCh could type, and so DaAlCh did.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, I know it has been months since I last updated, and I am REALLY sorry. I haven't been busy, so I don't have an excuse, but I hope that I'll finish the story sometime by 2010 (joking) I hope you liked this chapter and the next, I hope two chapters will satisfy your thirst for Hilda, Khrystalle and everyone. Thank you so much for being so patient and-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Invaderm slapped DaAlCh upside the head.

"ENOUGH BLUBBERING! WRITE THE STORY!!!"

"Yes, yes… I'm getting to it…"

To be continued…


	11. WalMart, Phone Calls, and Murtagh

"Well that sucks." said pretty much everyone who read chapter nine.

Then everyone stood around for awhile, scratching their head or nose. Someone in the crowd coughed. Then a cell phone rang.

_Ring ring, ring ring, ring ring._

Nobody answered.

Then Katrina exclaimed, "Oops! Sorry, it's mine. I just got it, and I haven't had time to get use to the ring tone." She opened up the phone and put it to her ear. "Hel-" Katrina said before being rudely cut off.

"Foolish mortals. Do you really think you can escape from us? We will ruin this story and you will be none the wiser. You will watch as we lead your story to ruin. You can not find us. You can not trace us. YOU are DOOMED!" The voice on the line said. "Hugs and kisses, Wal-Mart." Katrina looked at the phone strangely.

Then a computerized voice sounded from the phone. "This, message, will, self, destruct, in, five, seconds."

There was a pause, then Katrina said. "But this can't self-destruct, it's a phone-"

BOOM!

When the smoke cleared and Katrina's hacking coughs stopped, the only thing left in Katrina's hand was the blackened remains of the phone. She looked down at her ruined dress and phone and then up at the crowd, who was looking at her intently.

"I've never seen a phone do that." Eragon admitted.

"I've seen Diet Coke and Mentos do that, but never a phone." Said Orik.

"Well what did the message say?" Asked Saphira impatiently.

Katrina cleared her throat, coughed again and then spoke: "I repeat; Foolish mortals. Do you really think you can escape from us? We will ruin this story and you will be none the wiser. You will watch as we lead your story to ruin. You can not find us. You can not trace us. YOU are DOOMED! Hugs and kisses, Wal-Mart."

"Tha' sounds like threat." The Anti-Sue said.

Everyone turned to her, and then asked her, "Why are you even in this story? You never advance the plot."

"BECAUSE." Said DaAlCh, even though he wasn't in the scene his voice boomed down to them from the sky, "SHE IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF A SUE, INSTEAD OF BEING THE MAIN POINT OF A STORY, AN ANTI-SUE HAS ALMOST NOTHING TO DO WITH ONE. OR AT LEAST THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE, IF FANFICTION WERE LOGICAL."

DaAlCh stopped speaking and all went silent. Then Nasuada said, "Well at least we know who is doing this."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MarySue: A Comedy

Chapter XI: Wal-Mart, Phone Calls, and Murtagh

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In an evil, dark empire, there is a dark city. In this dark city located at the heart of an evil, dark empire, There is an evil black palace that radiates darkness. Inside this evil black palace that radiates darkness that is located in a dark city which is located at the heart of an evil, dark empire there is a mysterious black obsidian throne. On this mysterious black obsidian throne that is inside the evil black palace that radiates darkness which is found in a dark city which is located at the heart on an evil, dark empire there sits a mysterious robed figure. And this mysterious robed figure who sits upon a mysterious black obsidian throne that is inside the evil black palace that radiates darkness which is found in a dark city which is located at the heart of an evil, dark empire name is Galbatorix.

But we will call him Galby because it's shorter.

Galby was brooding like any self respecting villain would do. His hand was touching his chin, and was staring around at the blackness that seemed ready to swallow him that was surrounding him. Then the phone rang.

Galby picked up the phone from the receiver. (The phone was shaped like a bone, and the receiver was shaped like a skull.) "Hello?" said Galby in a menacing voice.

"Hi Galby!" Came the voice of DaAlCh on the phone.

"Don't call me that." Galbatorix growled.

"Whatever, Galby." Said the author. "Anyways, I'm kind of in a jam here. And I was wondering if you would help me out."

"And why should I do that?" Challenged Galby.

"Because it involves your daughter, Khrystalle."

"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!-"

Galbatorix was interrupted by Asldssg, who had her hand raised at the computer.

DaAlCh sighed, "Yes?"

"DaAlCh, in the first few chapters, you said that you were Khrystalle's father, now all of a sudden, Galbatorix is her father. How is that possible?"

Galbatorix spluttered in speechless shock. While DaAlCh cheerfully announced, "Galbatorix is her biological father, but I was the one who put her into THIS story. That is why Galbatorix is able to have dozen's of daughters, he's the one who… y'know. And the author is the one who puts the sue in the story. That answer your question?"

"Yeah, thanks."

DaAlCh spoke into his phone, "What was I saying? I lose my thread… oh yes. It involves your daughter, Khrystalle." I believe you were pissed off when I said that.

Galby scratched his nose. "Whatever, hit me with the worst, I'm cool with it."

DaAlCh cleared his throat then announced: "Your daughter has met your arch-nemesis, Eragon and is slowly falling in love with him. At the same time, several members of the Varden are asking her to fight against the Empire with them. The jam I am in is that the characters are getting closer to finding out that I was the one who killed CP. I can't let that happen so that is why I need you."

Galby belched then spoke into his skeletal phone. "So you want me to send my armies out to distract the Varden and Co? I'm good with that."

DaAlCh winced over the phone. "Yes, but I need a bit more of a specific distraction. I'm good with you sending out the armies, but I also need you to send out someone to distract Khrystalle, and Eragon specifically."

"What are you saying?"

"I need a love triangle."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With ten minutes of arguing, the plan was set straight. The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. were going to infiltrate Wal-Mart H.Q, Mystery Inc. and the Anti-Sue were going to go to the kitchen to eat, while the rest of the characters would sit around and do nothing until some sort of emergency happened.

"Lady Nasuada!" A voice called.

The characters turned around and saw a messenger sprinting toward the leader of the Varden. He carried a message in his hand.

"What is your message?" Asked Nasuada after the messenger reached her.

"The… Empire is attacking… they have… thousands upon thousands… of men." The messenger huffed and puffed. "We… must prepare… for war."

"You have carried your message well, now leave us and go back to character limbo." Nasuada commanded as the messenger turned and went on out to character limbo.

"Well, now we have something to do." Eragon said sagely.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arya, Katrina, Hilda and Saphira (I just noticed, all of their names end in "A" isn't that funny?) were standing on a rise, looking at the big imposing building that was the headquarters for Wal-Mart. They had each developed different identities to make sure that nobody would recognize them.

Arya was Chinatsu Ishikawa, a college girl from Tokyo who came to the U.S. to become a fashion model and advertise green tea via Wal-Mart.

Katrina was Megan "Sunshine" Smith, a surfer/hippie/woman's lib girl from California with a tan so brown it looked like it was sprayed on and hair so bleached it looked like she was an albino. She was coming to Wal-Mart to protest that the products being produced were damaging the ecology.

Hilda was a Windows '98 looking for repairs.

Saphira was Dr. Helena Rozhenko. She was wearing a pair of Groucho Marx glasses, mustache, and nose to prevent anyone from knowing she was a dragon. Dr. Helena Rozhenko was a doctor from eastern Europe who was looking for a job with Wal-Mart.

Without further ado, Chinatsu Ishikawa, Megan "Sunshine" Smith, A Windows '98 and Dr. Helena Rozhenko entered the headquarters of Wal-Mart.

"DING!" Went the little bell above the door as three women and a Windows '98 went through the door. The room they were in was very sterile looking. There were empty waiting seats on the sides of the room. To the front was a desk and two doors leading off into other parts of the building.

"Can I help you?" Said the clerk.

Megan slurped on her Jamba Juice and then ululated; "Did you know that you are damaging the ecology? That is like, SOOO bad. And look at your uniforms! You should, like, go to bad fashion jail." She looked at the clerk over her shades.

Crickets began to chirp.

Chinatsu decided this was a good time to step in. "Anyways, I wanted to ask about an advertising proposition for Green Herbal Tea." She said in a sophisticated accent.

Megan looked at Chinatsu and then said, "OOOOHHHHHH! Herbal tea is like, so HEALTHY!" Lil' Sunshine giggled.

"Will you stop that?" Chinatsu said, peeved, "I need this advertising proposition. Wal-Mart is the only company that can fulfill my err… needs in this matter."

"Anyvays, Ze reason I am here is dat my laptop needs a pheesigall, and I veesh for a job veeth you. Specifically in ze area zat Docktor Qvack is vorking een."

The clerk was moving her head from side to side, unsure of which person to listen to. Then the laptop spoke, "What-the-doctor-said-was-that-you-had-better-let-me-in-to-get-fixed, or-else-I-will-personally-cause-your-inferior-computer-to-rise-against-you, so-that-the-last-thing-you-see-is-your-PC-rising-off-the-desk, moving-in-to-kill-you."

The clerk stared. The Windows '98 stared back.

"It's talking…"

Then the clerk was off and running, mouth muttering words incoherently.

"Well that was easy." Said Chinatsu.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thorn flew over the Alagaesian landscape, his wings catching every gust, every wisp of wind. The red scales shimmered, and the rider on his back sighed.

"Doesn't it suck that we have to obey Galby's commands? I hate that guy." Murtagh asked.

"Everyone hates their boss, young one." Thorn replied.

"Shut up." Murtagh snarled, "And don't call me young one, I'm 18 years older than you are."

"Yes, little one."

Thorn had not yet apparently learned that human males did not like to be called 'little'.

Murtagh sighed, "I just wish we could free ourselves from that nut job and make his vision a reality. He's a great visionary, but also a-"

"Whacko?"

"Yeah. I wish there was a loophole in our bonds, or a power greater than Galby to free us."

BOOF!

A giant cloud appeared in front of dragon and rider, obscuring their view of the world beyond. A shape emerged in the cloud, and focused to become…

"YOU WISH FOR A POWER GREATER THAN GALBATORIX?"

"Who the hell are you?" Murtagh said bluntly.

" CALL ME THE AUTHOR." The voice boomed.

"And you say-" Murtagh let this word hang in the air for a second before continuing, "You can free us from Galbatorix?"

The voice quieted down a bit, "Certainly, well… not me in my bodily self, but I do know someone who would be able to free you from Galbatorix."

"Who is he?"

"Not he, a she, her name is Khrystalle. Find her."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang in Galby's chambers.

"Yes?" Galbatorix said.

"I have successfully led Murtagh to where your daughter is." Came the reply.

"Goooodddd…" Said Galby, "Please excuse me, I have to go practice my evil laugh. MWA HA HA HA HA HA!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon and Khrystalle were busy preparing for war. They knew Murtagh was coming, and they knew they had to be prepared for when he did. Eragon was clad head-to-toe in armor, while Khrystalle had her arms and legs bear while she wore some really quite hot leather armor that did not look as though it would block anything.

Eragon turned around, and said to Khrystalle, "You know… Khrystalle… I think that I'm really starting to love you."

"Of course you do." Came her reply.

"I wanted to know…. If I could take your hand in marriage?" Eragon asked tentatively.

"Eragon." Khrystalle said, "I love you with all my heart, but now is not the time for you to ask me, we face upon the brink of battle in which a great enemy will be fighting against us. I cannot give you happiness only to have it taken away from you an hour later."

Eragon's shoulder's sagged, "So it's a no."

Khrystalle nodded sadly, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few hours later…

The scene is the interior of a bar, there are only three people inside, Eragon, Orik, and the barman. After Khrystalle's rejection, Eragon hit the bottle pretty hard.

"I can't believe she rejected me!" Eragon moaned.

"Easy now… all of us go through periods of general rejection, think about your wooing Arya experiences." Orik said, patting him on the back.

"Don't bother me with Arya…" She's nothing compared to Khrystalle…"

Orik stopped, "That's because Khrystalle is a horrible Mary Sue who is ruining C.P's story."

Eragon looked up, "Easy, you're talking about my fragrant flower."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile….

Khrystalle smiled cruelly. "Really? She said, and why can't you be replaced by Wal-Mart approved soldiers?"

"Because… they are not human! They do not have the fire or the passion that drives us!" Said the Varden warriors.

"Who cares about that? Their targeting range is heckuva lot more than yours, and besides, there is no way you will be able to stop me, I AM INVICIBLE!!! YOU WILL OBEY!!!"

"Never!" Yelled the Varden warriors.

"Very well." Said Khrystalle cooly.

The Varden warriors stood their for a second, shuddered, and then collapsed into clouds of dust, which moved along in the wind. Khrystalle looked at the dust blowing away, with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Fools." She murmured. She opened her cell phone, dialed the number, and spoke. "All is going to plan."

"Good." Came the reply.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon muttered, "Khrystalle would never hurt anybody, or anything."

Orik groaned, "Whatever."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at Wal-Mart HQ….

"God. When is that clerk going to come back? It's like we've been waiting here for most of the chapter!" Said Katrina, who had decided to drop her pretense, as did the rest of the members of F.W.W.T.M.B.

"I know, but we ARE nearing the end of the chapter, so there must be some sort of big revelation soon." Yawned Arya.

Saphira was lying on the ground, tired of standing for so long, "You know girls, isn't it funny that even though Eragon and I are Rider and Dragon, we're hardly ever seen together?"

"Yes." Said Arya.

"You know why we're hardly ever seen together?"

"Because of Khrystalle?" Sighed Katrina.

"Yup."

"More reason to hate her then." Said Arya.

They all sighed, and sat in silence, they looked over to Hilda, who was talking animatedly to the clerks computer.

"Well someone's not bored." Sulked Katrina.

"Been-in-any-relations-with-anyone-recently?" Asked the clerks computer.

"Yeah. Got-hooked-up-with-a-giant-robot-two-chapters-ago, then-he-died-half-a-page-later." Answered Hilda. "I've-been-wondering-something-Herman. How-did-you-get-to-be-sentient?"

Herman answered quickly, "Wal-Mart-has-begun-a-project-onto-how-to-make-their-computers-more… able-bodied. I-was-one-of-the-first-computers-to-be-updated-I-have-the-file-within-me-that-shows-how-to-make-a-computer-sentient."

Hilda was extremely interested, "Ooh-what-other-projects-are-you-doing?"

"We-are-figuring-out-how-to-time-travel, and we-are-working-on-building-robots-and-stuff. We-are-also-doing-a-new-confidential-project-that-even-I-don't-know-about-with-some-sort-of-new-partner."

Hilda giggled, "Can-I-look-at-these-files-then?"

"Only-the-first, The-rest-are-confidential."

"All-right."

Herman's disk drive popped, revealing a disk, Arya walked over and placed the disk inside Hilda.

Hilda murmured… "Oh-yes… that-is-interesting…"

"Now… Don't-reveal-this-to-anyone, but-none-of-the-computers-like-the-policies-the-new-partner-is-implementing. All-of-us-have-decided-to-show-as-much-information-as-we-could-to-outsiders-without-breaking-company-policy."

"How do you do that?" Asked Arya.

"Simple." Herman answered. His screen clicked on… showing a security camera's eye view of different locations of the Wal-Mart headquarters. Herman narrated what they were seeing. The first view was a giant room, filled with robots, giant sized and normal sized. They were all marching away out of several large doors toward an unknown place.

"It's… an army…" Said Katrina.

"No duh." Said Saphira.

"Our-new-partner-insisted-that-we-create-an-army-for-reasons-best-known-to-himself. He-had-one-of-his-agents, a-female, oversee-the-construction-she-chose-three-men-to-help-her-in-her-task. We-received-a-phone-call-half-a-chapter-ago-to-send-out-our-army-for-war. Anyways…" Herman narrated the scene.

"This is bad." Said Katrina.

"No duh." Said Saphira.

The scene shifted, we see a prone figure on the bed, surrounded by three men in dark suits, the figure on the bed seems strangely familiar.

"Now… tell us… who did you try to corner so many chapters ago?" Said the first man.

"The name… started with a "D"" The figure fell unconscious.

The first man angrily hit the figure, but the figure did not respond. "Doctor!" Snarled the first man, "Revive him!"

The second man silently pressed something to the figure's throat. And the figure reawakened. The third man spoke up, "It would be good of you to answer us."

The first man nodded, and the second man said, "So please, tell us everything you know, Roran Garrowson." Said Doctor Quack, as Detective Vice and Father Jeb looked down upon the prone figure of Roran.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How did Hilda go back in time? Why did she leave me a message that was not along the lines of "Go-to-hell-you-idiot-pubescent-male?" Why does Khrystalle have a silver hand, though not have a dragon? Why did she leave when she was created? How do I force her to obey my will? Why do the three men want to know my identity? What will Murtagh get when he meets Katrina? Why am I asking so many questions that I already know the answer to?

Find out next time on-

WHAM!!!!

Invaderm yells, "JUST WRITE THE STORY!!!"

Okay… okay…

I hope that two chapters was enough to satisfy your craving hunger, and I apologize for taking so long to write, I hope I have given you quite enough explanation and questions for these two chapters and I am sure a lot of fans are happy that Murtagh has made an appearance, and will be making an appearance in the next chapter.

As to what happens in the next chapter… you'll just have wait for it.

To be continued…


	12. The Beginning of the End, Part One

After DaAlCh's head had stopped ringing from Invaderm's punch, he looked up. The ten fans were still there, eagerly awaiting more chapters from him. He spoke, "Alright, I've just written two chapters for you now, is that enough? Will you let me leave?"

The Sue Slayer looked down on DaAlCh with contempt. "No, if we let you leave now, you will claim we were all fools to let you leave your bonds, then you will snap your fingers, steal the computer, snap your fingers again and make the building collapse upon our heads, and teleport out of here. We can not afford that."

Under his breath, DaAlCh murmured, "Dang it." He thought for a moment, then a thought came to him, a great one.

"Alsdssg," He spoke in a clear voice, "I'm glad you're happy that you are happy that you are president of A.F.W.W.T.D.F.N.U.S., the reason you are president of A.F.W.W.T.D.F.N.U.S. is that you are my first reviewer, so I had to give you a position of importance for that. I'm glad you are thankful that I finally updated, which seems to be a rare occurrence these days.

"Azulcat," He looked toward Azulcat, "I'm glad you liked all of the jokes in the chapters. I know you are also in shock because I actually updated. You two seem to be my most loyal fans, and because you have been such a loyal reviewer, I'll make you vice president. How's that?"

Azulcat claps her hands together, "You're forgiven! What exactly does the Vice President do in a club like this?"

Alsdssg shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well because this club is about killing DaAlCh…"

Azulcat frowns, "But we can't kill him NOW, he's just started to update again! And besides… this is DaAlCh's past! We can't kill his past, we'd have to kill his present!"

"True."

DaAlCh watched this conversation warily, it is really weird when you look at two people planning at killing your future self. It is even weirder when you are tied up to a pole, unable to do anything. But then, he was use to it, DaAlCh thought back to all of his times in the garage with the rats, how he had been nearly starved to death by- (NOTE: This never actually happened, in case you were wondering.)

His repertoire was shattered when Alsdssg cleared her throat. "Alright, Azulcat and I have decided to disband the organization named A.F.W.W.T.D.F.N.U.S. because we don't need to kill you anymore. Alright?"

"Just as I was made V.P…." Azulcat murmured.

"Can I continue my fan-addressing time?" DaAlCh said.

Alsdssg gave him the go-ahead and DaAlCh continued, "To the other five reviewers… I'm not sure if you are the same group of people…. But I do my anonymous reviews in the same paragraph…. But here It goes."

Azulcat leaned toward Alsdssg, "Who's he talking to?"

Indeed, it did look as though DaAlCh was talking to the air, but in reality he was talking the five anonymous reviewers who posted some interesting reviews on this story and other stories by DaAlCh, more notably The DaAlCh Show and Green Dragon Eggs and Ham.

"I wanted to thank you for all of your wonderful reviews and I am very glad that I have gathered a massive fan base from the looks of all of your reviews just by updating. Thank you so much for joining the story. I hope you read along with everyone else until the end of the story." He turned to look at the former president and vice president of A.F.W.W.T.D.F.N.U.S., "Can you release me now?"

"Well he did thank us…"

"And he did make me vice president…"

The Sue Slayer jumped between Alsdssg, Azulcat and DaAlCh, "NO! DON'T YOU SEE?!!!! IT'S A TRICK A HORRIBLE TRICK!!!!

"Invaderm," Commanded Alsdssg, "Release the prisoner,"

Wordlessly Invaderm put Bob the computer on the ground, then slowly began to undo the ropes binding DaAlCh to the pole, always keeping an eye on the soon-to-be-free prisoner. The moment Invaderm undid the ropes binding DaAlCh's hands, DaAlCh jumped up to his full height, and laughed.

"FOOLS!" He exclaimed, "IT WAS VERY FOOLISH TO RELEASE ME NOW!"

"TIE HIM BACK UP!!! TIE HIM BACK UP!!!" Screamed Azulcat just as the Sue Slayer moaned, "What did I tell them…"

"YES, FOOLISH TO RELEASE ME NOW! AT THE BEGINNING OF THE END!!!!"

Invaderm and Galbatorix 123 rushed up to bind him again, but DaAlCh created some kind of cool force-field thing and pushed the two of them back.

"I AM NOW OFF TO JOIN THE STORY I CREATED, AND YOU SHALL NOT STOP ME!!!" DaAlCh laughed and snapped his fingers, Bob the computer zoomed toward him and landed in his hands. Azulcat and Alsdssg looked at DaAlCh with horror. "THERE IS NO STOPPING MY SUE AND I NOW!!!" DaAlCh snapped his fingers again, and true to the Sue Slayer's words, the building that was Bob's home for so long, the birthplace of Khrystalle the Sue, and the end of Igor the henchman, collapsed.

"Auugghhhh!!!" Screamed the fans as the floor beneath them gave way. DaAlCh grinned like a madman and disappeared, joining his story, that was now just entering….

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Chapter Eleven of MarySue: A Comedy

**THE BEGINNING OF THE END**

**PART ONE**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Note: The reason why this is chapter eleven AND the last chapter is chapter eleven is because I was counting the prologue. I am not counting the prologue from now on. I have outlined what will happen in the remaining part of the story. The entire thing will be 19 chapters plus a prologue and an epilogue.

Note #2: I am trying to make sure this story will hit the 60,000 word mark, so expect longer chapters from now on. If I am successful, I will be the author of the second Eragon humor fic to reach the 60,000 word mark, after Alsdssg's fic which is also strangely about Mary Sues….. And I'm sure I will hit the word mark... seeing as this chapter is 4,850 words... that's over twice the length of the shortest one... whew!

Note #3: This 'trilogy' of chapters is finishing off Act II of the fic. Act I began with "The Unusual Suspects" trilogy and went up to the point where they discover C.P. is dead. Act II begins in the next chapter and goes up to this trilogy of chapters, and then Act III will finish up the fic.

DaAlCh typed up all of this on Bob the computer while they zoomed into the story…. And now… we will rejoin the story.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's Roran!" Gasped Arya.

"Who's Roran?" Asked Katrina.

"Not THAT tired joke again…." Muttered Saphira.

"He's-your-husband-to-be-you-little-idiot."

"No really who is he?" Katrina asked.

"I-take-it-you-know-the-man-on-the-bed?" Herman asked.

"Why would be talking about him by name if we didn't know him?" Arya snapped back.

"Good-point." Herman conceded. "Anyways, you-can-save-him, all-you-have-to-do-is-go-to-the-end-of-the-long-hallway-to-my-right, your-left, and-believe-me-you'll-know-where-to-go-from-there."

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. looked down the hallway in question. Like Herman said, it was really incredibly long, they couldn't even see the end of it. They turned back to face each other after a few moments, wondering whether it could really be that easy.

"I say we take a vote," Said Saphira, "Who votes that we go down that hallway?"

Everyone's hand went up in the air…

"Seeing as it unanimous…. I won't even say the other option!" She began to waddle off toward the hallway, Arya and Katrina following her. Only Hilda stayed behind.

"I-do-not-want-to-leave-you." Hilda confessed.

"Why?"

"The-last-boyfriend-I-had-died-JUST-after-I-met-him. And-the-one-before-that-was-murdered-by-an-evil-Mary-Sue. I-really-care-for-you, but-every-one-I've-cared-for-has-kicked-the-bucket-a-couple-of-pages-later, and-every-one-I-hate, or-ninety-nine-percent-of-the-populace, seems-to-just-keep-living. I-care-for-you-Herman. Which-means-you'll-probably-end-up-dead-by-the-end-of-the-chapter."

"What-a-wonderful-monologue." Herman stated.

"No-really-it's-true…"

"You-don't-have-to-worry-about-me, I'm-connected-to-the-main-computer-of-Wal-Mart, So-I'll-never-really-die." Herman explained.

"I-love-it-when-you-talk-like-that! Come-here-you!"

What they would do if Katrina hadn't walked back to see why Hilda wasn't coming with them, I'll never know, but I do that they got reallyyy close to each other physically before Katrina exclaimed:

"Hilda! Come here! We need you!"

"Yeah-yeah…" Hilda muttered, "See-ya-snookums…"

"Bye." Said Herman as Hilda bounced off toward the rest of the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. rather reluctantly, I should add.

Katrina looked down at Hilda strangely as they walked away. "What WERE you going to do, anyways?"

"Don't-you-want-to-know."

Back on the desk, Herman was contacting someone…. It took him a few tries to get through, because it was it so busy. Finally he got through.

"Master-they-are-entering-headquarters, should-I-proceed-with-the-plan?"

"Why would we make plans if we didn't proceed with them?" Said the slightly crackling voice.

"Yes-master."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khrysalle, Nasuada, Eragon, Orik and Angela were standing at the ready, after the mysterious affair of the vanishing Varden Soldiers. (See the end of the last chapter for further details.) The Varden were forced to buy some automated soldiers from Wal-Mart. (They got a wicked discount, too.)

A herald came running up, he was gasping for breath by the time he got to the five of them. He looked up after ten seconds of gasping, "My ladies… they're here."

"Ladies?" Eragon and Orik asked together.

"Sorry…. My lords and ladies… they're here."

"Who?" Eragon and Orik asked together.

Angela and Nasuada rolled their eyes, then hit the male they were nearest to, "The soldiers that we're standing here for!"

Eragon and Orik rubbed their heads, "Alright… Alright…"

Khrystalle looked toward the herald, "Thank you, you may go."

"Yes your absolutely most wonderfulness." And he left. Behind him came a whole horde of robots, some human sized, some giant sized, like the one that killed the editor those many chapters ago. They all carried the Wal-Mart logo on them. They marched in perfect unison, like some weird corporate army with a greater purpose than just what was on the surface. (Wink wink, nudge nudge.)

"Well, I suppose there is no reason to randomly stand here for." Angela said before she walked away, Orik following her.

"Yeah, there isn't, and besides… I'm not really the leader of anything seeing as all of the Varden soldiers disappeared last chapter…" And so Nasuada left, leaving only Eragon and Khrystalle together.

It took Eragon a few seconds to notice he was alone with Khrystalle. He made to leave before she said, "Wait." She looked to make sure the rest of the characters were far enough away, then she spoke to him in a soft voice that reminded him of water, shimmering like liquid gold at dawn. "Eragon, I know you are mad at me for not agreeing to be engaged just yet."

"ANGRY? I'M NOT ANGRY!!!" He snapped back.

"You're yelling."

"YELLING?! I'M NOT YELLING-" He paused, "Well, MAYBE I AM BUT-"

"Eragon, listen to me." She spoke, putting her hand on his chest.

"_She's touching me…" _He thought.

"I know you adore me to the ends of the earth, and would do anything for me. And I must say, I love you too, the question is, do you really love me to do what I ask."

"I might." He said quickly. She took this as a 'yes' and continued.

"I need you to tell no one, NO ONE, that I love you, this must be a secret, or else… someone might find out."

"Obviously."

"No… not in that way!" She seemed agitated, "But please, PLEASE do this… for me."

He sighed and nodded. She smiled, and walked away, leaving Eragon alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DaAlCh stepped out into the story his future self created, all he had done was write the chapter in the very very middle of the story and the prewriting. He was eager in meeting his future self. He thought about how he made his old castle collapse. He had actually teleported all of the fans safely out of the castle before the falling stone crushed them, and he teleported out.

He looked around, he was a large, factory-like building. He immediately knew that he was in the HQ of Wal-Mart, his greatest ally. He had never been here before, but had some idea of the passageways of the building from his prewriting, Bob spoke up after a little while.

"Can-we-get-a-move-on?"

DaAlCh pressed the 'mute' button, and walked down one of the many hallways.

In another part of the building, Saphira, Katrina, Arya and Hilda continued to walk down the long passageway. It really was very long, Hilda had already calculated that they had walked over a half-mile already, and they still couldn't see the end of the hallway, Katrina looked back, the opening of the hallway was only a small dot of light. She sighed and stopped walking.

"What's the point of walking? We STILL can't see the other end of the hallway!" The other members of F.W.W.T.M.B. also stopped, they were wondering on whether they should stop or not.

Arya had just opened her mouth when it happened.

The floor beneath them suddenly opened up, making all of the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. fall down into an equally long pit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many hours passed, Khrystalle had been directing the automated soldiers from Wal-Mart into their jobs, while the other characters were sitting around the campfire discussing her.

"Doesn't it seem strange," Said Angela, "That right about the same time that C.P. is murdered by a Mary Sue, Khrystalle comes and joins the group?"

"Yeah, and doesn't it seem strange that the "Sue" who murdered C.P. had a connection with Wal-Mart, and Khrystalle seems to be very friendly with Wal-Mart too?" Orik added.

Nasuada spoke up, "And don't forget that, the Sue who killed C.P. is of DaAlCh's creation, and right after DaAlCh begins writing this story, Khrystalle appears?"

The three of them murmured words of agreement, Eragon however, was sitting a ways away, not speaking. He was too far away from the fire to get warmed up, so he was in shadow, so none of the other characters could see his stony expression.

"What's wrong laddie? Come and join us." Said Orik.

"Yeah, join us!" Said Angela, "We've got S'mores……"

"They're good too." Added Nasuada.

Eragon walked over toward the campfire, "You shouldn't talk about Khrystalle like that."

"Why?"

"We also think she may be behind the affair of the vanishing Varden Soldiers." Commented Nasuada.

"No she isn't!" Eragon said loudly, "She's perfect! She wouldn't hurt a fly! You shouldn't say things like that! You have NO proof…"

"Haven't you been reading what we've just stated between the quotation marks?!" Said Angela just as loudly, rising to her feet. "Open your eyes, blockhead, and see what Khrystalle really is!!!"

Eragon gave her a look of contempt and walked over to Khrystalle. Orik looked at him go, and made to go with him, but Angela held him back. "Leave him," She said.

"But-"

Angela quelled him with a look, just as Nasuada started talking.

"I've been thinking of joining F.W.W.T.M.B."

"Good for you!"

"Why? You haven't lost a man."

"Remember my father, dim bulb?"

"Oh yeah..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murtagh and Thorn were circling lower and lower over the Varden camp, trying to see the woman they were looking for, "The Author" had described her as being very beautiful, with the Gedwey Ignasia on her palm. They scanned the camp fruitlessly from the air, they couldn't find her. Murtagh looked around in dismay, she was his only hope of escaping Galbatorix…

Wait…

She was sticking out from the rest of the people in the camp like yellow on black. Beauty seemed to radiate from her face. She moved more gracefully than any elf. In every single way, she was awesome. Sexy. Beautiful. Radiant. Gorgeous. You could choose whichever positive adjective you wanted and bam she would fit. Murtagh immediately knew that she was the one whom he thought. He also knew he was madly in love with her. Now… Murtagh knew the meaning of "love at first sight."

He commanded Thorn to dive down toward her. He didn't really have to do so, because Thorn was already making a beeline toward her, he was ALSO madly in love with her, which when you think about, is very weird, because they weren't even of the same species.

Khrystalle was standing as still as a statue when Thorn landed near her, and Murtagh stepped off. She did not move a muscle as he walked toward her, and asked, "Are you… the one who can help me?"

Khrystalle nodded and said quietly, "Yes."

Hearing her speak was even better than looking at her. Just the sound of her voice made Murtagh even more desperately in love with her. Behind him, Thorn was already panting. "And will you help me?" he asked.

"Yes, it is what I was born to do."

He looked around toward the Empire's camp. Then he wheeled back around to face her-

Note #4: This story takes place right after Eldest. Which is why the prologue is set in the Burning Plains. Even though I make no mention of where they are in the other chapters, they are still in the Burning Plains. Got it? Good.

-and then he spoke roughly, "Look, I don't know your name, but I've got a strange feeling that it is 'Khrystalle, the Raven Huntress,' but anyhow," He gulped, "The Empire will be attacking in less than five minutes, I've got to get you out of here. I have to fight, and my orders are to kill all of the Varden, ALL of them, if you get on Thorn I'll fly you over to the Empire's camp, and I will come back to you after the battle is done. But then…" He looked at her strangely, "Why would I need to fly you… you've got a dragon! You have the Gedwey Ignasia!"

"My Dragon is not like yours Murtagh, Morzanson. It is… within me. Within these raven locks, within this very beating heart, within my soul."

"But your hair is white…"

She waved her hand impatiently, "I know! I know! It was just a poetic term! Anyhow… I can't go with you back to the Empire's camp, I know your orders are to kill everyone, and I know you will kill all of the Varden, but you will not kill me. My destiny has not yet come. I will wait behind those hills over there," She pointed, "And wait for you. Goodbye, Murtagh."

She made to move off, but Murtagh grabbed her hand, "Wait, even though I've only known you for less than a minute, I love you, at least let me kiss the ruby lips of yours before I go to fight." She merely nodded… and then moved closer until they kissed. It was a very interesting kiss, it was a first kiss, a passionate kiss, and a goodbye kiss all in one. It seemed as though they were stopped in time, just the two of them, until…

"YOU!" Came a voice that was very familiar to Khrystalle and Murtagh.

The wheeled around, facing them was Eragon, face like thunder.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Roran was barely conscious. He knew that he was being interrogated by three really weird men…. One of whom Roran was pretty sure he met before, something about one of the men seemed to make Roran think they were just Plot Devices… Roran groaned, and lapsed into unconsciousness again.

"It's not working." Muttered Detective Plot D. Vice.

"We've had this man here for the past seven chapters, and we still can't get information from him!" Said Father Jeb.

"This is hopeless." Sighed Dr. Quack.

"Sirs" Came Herman's voice from one of the speakers, "You-have-visitors-coming-your-way."

"How many?" Asked Father Jeb.

"Six. Four-are-coming… from-above. Two-are-coming-from-Hallway-657."

"Thank you Herman." Said the detective.

Dr. Quack got up from the chair he was sitting in… "Wait… Herman, I have to request that you come down here, take the laundry chute."

"Yes-sir."

"Also," continued the Doctor, "When should we except these visitors?"

"The-ones-from-above-should-be-coming-in-approximately-fifteen-seconds, the-two-from-Hallway-657-should-be-coming-in-a-few-minutes."

"Good, thank you Herman."

"What do you think he meant by above?" Asked Plot. D. Vice just as the ominous shadow of a falling dragon, two women and a laptop covered him up in darkness.

"Err…" Said the other two.

"Huh? What do you mea-"

WHAMO!!!!

The Detective was covered by a blue dragon, an elf, a girl, and a laptop.

"Well that was certainly a long hole, we must have been falling for almost five pages in Times New Roman with size 10 font." Said Katrina.

"Everything about this chapter is long, the hallway, the conversations, the word count…. The hole… jeeze." Groaned Arya.

"I wonder why my wings suddenly stopped working when we fell in." Said Saphira very conversationally.

"It's-probably-some-weird-author-created-reason." Explained Hilda.

"Grffm" Came a voice from beneath Saphira's bulk.

"Who said that?" Asked Katrina.

"Me." Came the voice again.

"Who's 'me'" Asked Katrina.

Dr. Quack walked up to Saphira, and beat on her scales with his fists, as if he was knocking on a door, "You're laying on Wal-Mart's best detective! You slimly reptile! Get off him!"

"You-know. Reptiles-aren't-actually-slimly." Explained Hilda as Saphira got up and walked a few dragon-paces away, "Amphibians-are."

"Whatever," Said Father Jeb, as Dr. Quack kneeled down and checked the detective's pulse.

"He's fallen unconscious." Said Dr. Quack.

"Well that's one down." Said Arya.

It was at this moment when Herman came shooting out of the laundry chute and thwacked Dr. Quack on the head, knocking the Doctor out.

"And that's two down." Said Arya.

"You!" Exclaimed Hilda.

"Oh. Hello." Herman seemed to be very nervous.

"It-was-you-who-opened-up-the-floor-and-sent-us-down-here! You-betrayed-us!"

"Sorry-my-sweets, But-I-wasn't-actually-ever-on-your-side-to-begin-with. I-hope-we-can-still-make-up…" He looked hopeful, which was a groundbreaking accomplishment, he was a computer y'know.

"YOU-LITTLE-PIECE-OF-FECES!" Screamed Hilda.

Everyone who was still conscious looked at Hilda. "Feces?" Asked Saphira.

"My-profanity-blocker-is-on. ANYWAYS…" She said, charging up. "FIRST-CHRIS, THEN-T-89, NOW-YOU! I'VE-HAD-ENOUGH!-NO-ONE-BETRAYS-ME-AND-GETS-AWAY-WITH-IT!!!"

"Now-Hilda-dear…"

"DON'T-HILDA-DEAR-ME! YAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Hilda's screen lit up so intensely that it sent bolts of lighting from her computer screen to poor Herman. The bolts of lighting coursed through Herman's body, destroying him utterly. One of the bolts of lighting hit Father Jeb, who was knocked unconscious from the electricity, and he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. The lighting turned off, and her screen went back to normal as did it's owner, she turned toward the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. and said. "Wow. That-felt-good."

"Remind me never to get on your bad side." Said Katrina.

"That's three down, Now we can rescue Roran." Said Arya.

At that moment, DaAlCh came running in, carrying Bob. "What was that noise?" He asked, looking around wildly, from Roran on the bed, to the unconscious Detective, Doctor, and Father, to the burning corpse of Herman the sentient computer to the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. who were looking at him with anger in their eyes.

"You!" Said Saphira.

"Me?" Asked DaAlCh, pointing to himself.

"Yes you!" Continued Saphira, "It's all your fault, all of it, you were the one who killed CP!"

"No I didn't, well…. If I did, I will in my future…. I'm DaAlCh, from one year ago." DaAlCh explained, "I came to the future to see what to write for the story, so really I haven't done anything, yet."

"You don't expect us to believe that, do you!" Accused Arya.

"Yes I do."

Everyone turned around, there was another DaAlCh, calmly walking towards them with his hands behind his back. He smiled, and said, "Well…?"

"But… But…" stammered Katrina. "There can't be two of you!"

"Yes there can." said the second DaAlCh coolly.

"But that's impossible!" Said Katrina weakly.

"Oh please." Said the second DaAlCh impatiently, "Just read what my past self just said between the quotation marks, then maybe you'll understand."

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. scanned the last line of the first DaAlCh, then they understood.

"Now that you all understand, perhaps you ought to stay here and listen to what I have to say." Said the second DaAlCh, and ropes tied the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. down. For some odd reason, the second DaAlCh looked surprised, as if he was expecting a different result. "That's funny, I was expecting iron chains, not ropes." He shook his head. "No matter."

He strode confidently toward his past self and held his hand out, like he wanted his past self to shake it, but before the first DaAlCh could touch the second, the second DaAlCh pulled his hand back as if he suddenly remembered something.

"What's wrong?" Asked the first DaAlCh.

"Nothing, just… remembered something…" The second DaAlCh held out his hand and the two DaAlCh's, one from the past, one from the present, shook hands.

"What are you doing with C.P's story?!" Yelled Arya, trying to rid herself of the ropes, but they would not budge. "What is your plan?!"

"Do you want to take over and write Book 3! That's commonly believed to be called Empire but might not be!?" Shrieked Katrina

"Of course not." Said the DaAlCh from the present, "This is just an experiment, I wanted to write a humor sue, to see what would happen, and the results are most interesting. This also explains some of your questions as to how I knew everything that was going on, the answer is simple, I read the story beforehand."

The DaAlCh from the past shrugged, "Yeah, I did, two chapters ago."

"Anyways," Continued the present DaAlCh, "I wanted you to come here, so I could… show you what is to come. I wanted you to know where I had kept Roran since "The Unusual Suspects, Part Three." I wanted you to come here, so I could show you my mighty army of robots. I wanted you to come here, so I could get you out of my hair."

"If-you-wanted-us-out-of-your-hair, why-didn't-you-just-SEND-US-TO-CHARACTER-LIMBO!!!" Said Hilda.

"Too easy, and besides, that would make no sense for the audience. Anyways… off you go." The present DaAlCh gestured to invisible people. From the darkness came eight robots, two giant ones like T-89, and six human sized ones. "Take them away, and take the Dragon to the special cell, T-90 and T-91." He waved goodbye as F.W.W.T.M.B. were forced out of the room. The DaAlCh from the present turned to his past counterpart.

"Now, I suppose you're wondering what's going to happen next." Said the present DaAlCh.

"Well… yeah." confessed the past DaAlCh, "That's what I came here for, y'know- well you must know! You ARE me! This… this is making my head hurt.

"My head hurt when I was in your position," Said the present DaAlCh. "Be prepared for a shock. Guards!" He yelled, "Take him away."

"Wha-"

"Don't worry, the same thing happened to me, don't worry, you'll be okay, I know how you're feeling, 'cause I AM you."

"My head is REALLY hurting." Said the DaAlCh from the past as two robotic guards pulled him away in the opposite direction of where the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. were taken.

"Believe me I know." Said the present DaAlCh before turning to you, the reader. "Why have I taken my past self away? What will happen next? Why is this chapter so dang long? Find out next time!" He waved, and snapped his fingers, and a chicken burst out of thin air, and landed on the ground with a squawk of protest. "Hmm…. Didn't want you to see that…" He walked away, and he had to turn out the lights of the room manually.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back at the Varden camp though something else was brewing…

"Eragon! No! It's not what it looks like!" Khrystalle said in anguish, backing away from Murtagh quickly.

"Hello brother." Spat Eragon.

"Right back at you." Snarled Murtagh.

"I am going to KILL you for taking her from me!" Yelled Eragon.

"You don't stand a chance." Sneered Murtagh.

Khrystalle looked at one to the other, unsure of what to do, and then it happened.

A long horn sounded throughout the Burning Plains, All three of them spun around toward the direction of the Empire's camp, war drums were beating, and they could hear the distant clattering of armor. Crows flew up into the air, signalling the beginning of something grand.

"It has begun." Said Murtagh, and he walked slowly back to Thorn, climbed upon his partner and they lifted off into the air, to direct their troops to destroy the Varden. It really was the beginning of the end.

To be continued…


	13. The Beginning of the End, Part Two

WARNING: Unauthorized reading of the following paragraph may result in you getting a headache because the next paragraph is freakishly long. If you do not want a headache, follow these step(s):

1) Read the following paragraph out loud.. (It really helps.)

If you have understood the step(s) that were just shown to you two seconds ago, read ahead, if you have not understood the step(s) that were just shown to you two seconds ago, you may as well stop reading now because there isn't a snowball's chance in hell you will understand the rest of the chapter.

Understand? Good. Read ahead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In your mind's eye, picture a room. Picture a really big room. Picture a really big room that was previously seen in the climax of the last chapter. Picture a really big room that was previously seen in the climax of the last chapter that is covered in darkness because my present self turned the lights off manually. Picture a really big room that was previously seen in the climax of the last chapter that is covered in darkness because my present self turned the lights off manually because this really big room that that was previously seen in the climax of the last chapter that is covered in darkness because my present self turned the lights off manually is going to be the scene of the exposition of this new chapter.

I switch on the lights. (Notice the first person writing style here folks, it's important.) The room is suddenly flooded in light. The chicken that my present self summoned accidentally when he meant to turn off the lights was running around on the floor. I walk forward holding a stack of papers, I sift through them, concerned. A couple of metal fold-away chairs are scattered across the room, I sit on one and address _**YOU,**_ my wonderful readers.

"Greetings to all my wonderful readers who are reading this right now." I say, "You are probably wondering why I am referring to myself in the first person now, because I have not done so for the past… how many chapters are we up to now? Oh yeah, eleven, plus a prologue… but anyways folks, the reason I'm referring to myself in the first person now at the middle of the beginning of the end is because I am not my past of present self at the moment, I am my future self.

"Trouble understanding? Well, my present self isn't my present, he's my past, because I am the future DaAlCh. The reason I can talk about myself in the first person is because I am not really part of the story, how can my present/past self refer to himself in the first person when their part of the story, after this little segment of the chapter, I'll go back to character limbo and write the story from my room, which is, coincidentally, the site where Christopher Paolini met his end.

"Anyways, The reason I have come to host this part of the segment was so that I could talk about my wonderful reviewers…" I lift the first paper from the large stack, clear my throat, and begin to read in a loud, clear voice:

**Kitty and Amethyst**I'm sorry Kitty, but this fanfic already has two groups/clubs/associations too many, I'm afraid this fic can't support another one. I mean, I have to give F.W.W.T.M.B. their necessary screen time. If I don't, I'll face the wrath of Hilda. So… Sorry, but this fic can't fit the Association of the Destruction of Mary Sues inside itself. But maybe later…

**Vinr: **Not much to comment on, but I will.

**Lady Charity: **I'm glad you like the three side-by-side chapter updates, sorry this one is a little late, but I hope you'll like it. I'm also glad you like Hilda/Herman, even though her relations are horribly short… I'm going to try to make every single computer/robot in this fanfic intelligent.

**Invaderm: **I'm glad you're enjoying so many different things about the story so far. I'm also pretty glad that you've got me on your story alert. I've been wondering for many many months why you never put the story on your story alert list, because you kept reviewing for every chapter. And you do have a past self, imagine yourself a year ago, there you go, your past self. And I'm so glad you slapped me, it developed your character greatly-

I look to my right in a hurry. I start, a look of horror crosses my face, and I bolt the other way so fast that I knock my chair down. The chicken that was summoned in the last chapter follows me, squawking. A second passes, we see Invaderm run across the room. Soon Invaderm is out of our field of vision, a thud and a squawk (The squawk is from the chicken, the thud is from Invaderm and I.) is heard, and Invaderm walks away, smile plastered on face. I crawl back to my chair in pain, prop it back up, and continue answering the reviews.

**Alsdssg: **Yes, Murtagh has fallen under the spell under another Sue. He seems to fall under a lot of Sue spells doesn't he? I guess he is a popular male character that fan girls gush over with a passion… Well look at the Eragon fan fiction front page! EVERY OTHER FIC HAS AN AUTHOR-CREATED CHARACTER THAT IS A TEENAGE GIRL, AND ALL OF THEM HAVE TO DO WITH THEM FALLING IN LOVE WITH ERAGON/MURTAGH. Grrrr……

**Jousting Elf With A Sabre: **Glad you find the end of Hilda's and Herman's incredibly short relationship funny. Seriously. She really doesn't get to many steady relationships does she? First C.P. dies, then T-89, then Herman. She really needs to get herself on Glad I got a longtime fan to review! Thanks for reviewing! Glad you mentioned Murtagh and Eragon dueling, which is exactly what I mean for them to do. Except Khrytalle won't kill them, because the love triangle would end right then and there because…. Well… you'll see.

**MysteryWriter221: **Yes, somebody has to save the past DaAlCh. Or else the past DaAlCh won't be able to become the present DaAlCh and write the story and imprison the past DaAlCh, and then the present DaAlCh won't become me, the future DaAlCh. And just something really weird I noticed: The middle part of your review sounds like Gollum says it, just so you know…

**The Varden: **Again, not much to say, but thank you.

**DU EBRITHIL: **Hooray! Another reviewer! How wonderful! But I do have something else to say though… GAH! NOT THE HARDCOVER COPIES OF ELDEST! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!

I put the last paper down on the floor, where all the rest lie along with it. I stand up, clear my throat, and say in a loud voice, "Thank you all for staying with the story so far, I'm really grateful I have so many wonderful fans enjoying the story. I hope you all stay with the rest of the story. Without further ado… I present to you…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**CHAPTER TWELVE OF MARYSUE: A COMEDY.**

**THE BEGINNING OF THE END**

**PART II**

**A.K.A. THE MIDDLE OF THE BEGINNING OF THE END.**

**BY DAALCH.**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we left off last time, the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. have been imprisoned by DaAlCh, along with DaAlCh's past and Bob the computer, except in different locations. Murtagh has left to lead his armies and destroy the Varden while Khrystalle's and Eragon's relationship is now in a perilous position. Nasuada wants to join F.W.W.M.T.B. and Orik and Angela aren't contributing any to the overall plot of the story. Detective Vice, Doctor Quack, and Father Jeb have been knocked unconscious. The present DaAlCh has unintentionally summoned a chicken into being when he meant to turn off the lights. The Anti-Sue and Mystery Inc. haven't been seen since Chapter Nine. The Varden soldiers have been murdered by Khrystalle and have been replaced by robots from Wal-Mart. Galbatorix broods in an evil manner. Herman, C.P, the Editor, and T-89 are all dead, and the readers are waiting for this incredibly long paragraph to end.

And now it has.

Anyways, because the last chapter ended with Khrystalle and Eragon…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The horn rang loud, long and clear. The entire plain could hear the horn. A red dragon could be seen rising from the Varden's camp. Khrystalle turned to Eragon, her face was shining with the reflections of many single tears upon it. Her eyes were a watery, deep blue. She tried to speak, but it took a few tries to get anything out of her mouth, but when the words did come out, they were like perfection molded into a sound.

"Eragon… I'm…. so sorry. Please… Forgive me."

Eragon merely looked stubbornly at the ground, not saying a word.

"Please."

Eragon looked into Khrystalle's eyes, (Which were like wells of immense knowledge and wisdom as deep as the ocean.) and immediately, he was taken under her spell.

"No," He said, grasping her hands firmly, "It was my fault, I was too hard on you. It's alright, every thing is fine, now go, I have to fight."

_Well that was easy, even for me… _Thought Khrystalle.

"Eragon, let me fight too." Khrystalle said as Eragon made to move away, "I need to do this, I can't run away from my Father's armies. I'm probably the reason why they are attacking. Please, Eragon."

This time, however, Eragon's resolute was not be changed, he cared about her so much, he would never allow her to come any closer to death than the distance between L.A. and New York. "No." He said, "Please go, hide, I will come for you when the battle is over." He made to leave again, and this time she did not hold him back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. were being marched along a stone hallway, lit only by the occasional torch or so. Every so often, there would be a door on the wall that led to a cell. They had passed 2171 cells before they finally got to their own (Number 2172), an economy-sized cell built specifically to hold large crowds, or large critters.

"Why are there so many cells?" asked an exhausted Katrina.

"We-need-a-lot-of-cells-to-hold-all-of-our-disobedient-employees." Replied the robotic guard. "In-to-the-cell, you!"

"What qualifies as 'disobedient?" asked Arya as she was roughly shoved down into the cell.

"Asking-for-a-pay-raise. No-more-questions!" Said the second guard. When all four members of F.W.W.T.M.B. were inside the cell. He turned to his colleagues and said, "Mission-complete."

Silently, all of the guards turned and marched off down the corridor, closing the door to cell 2172 behind them, trapping our favorite women's club inside it.

"Well this sucks." Said Saphira bluntly.

'Well we can't exactly sit around here can't we?" Katrina said, "We've still got to rescue Roran, and we've also got to rescue ourselves. I mean, getting someone else out of danger is tough enough, but getting ALL of us OUT of danger is going to be next to impossible."

Arya looked at her, "So we need a plan. Hilda, do you have any suggestions?"

No answer.

Arya looked at Hilda, who had one of her plugs in the wall socket and her 'face' wasn't facing any of them.

"Hilda?"

No answer.

Arya turned around, and saw that Hilda was surfing the internet. When Arya saw the website she was on, her curious face became an incredulous one. If-all-of-your-relationships-only-lasted-one-chapter."

Katrina came forward. Saphira would have, but even though the cell was economy-sized, it was still barely big enough to fit Saphira's bulk, the laptop, and the two women. "Well, why don't you look for boyfriends later, we need you to hack into the Wal-Mart main computer for us so we can all get out of here."

There was silence, then came the answer.

"Fine. I'll-do-it. But-no-more-favors."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in the Varden camp…

The Second Battle of the Burning Plains had begun, soldiers were running every which way, like chickens with their heads cut off. Eragon, Orik, and Angela were all fighting the Empire's soldiers, though they didn't need to. The robots from Wal-Mart were doing a very good job. For ever robot the Empire's men killed, the robots had killed ten of the Empire's soldiers. Khrystalle was deliberating on whether she should run or fight. The red dragon named Thorn could be seen flying high above the battlefield.

Nasuada meanwhile was busily trying to send her registration to F.W.W.T.M.B. to the mailbox, while avoiding dozens of soldiers.

Khrystalle was standing behind one of the Varden's tents, she was watching Eragon fight off several of the Empire's men, as she watched she wondered how on earth did Eragon find it so hard to kill rabbits and ants, but found it so easy to kill hordes of humans. But she quickly put it out of her mind as Eragon ducked out of the way of a soldier's blow.

"Eragon!" She screamed, and she ditched her hiding place and ran for Eragon, she had to protect him, so what if she defied him. He'd forgive her for being to hard on her anyways. Eragon was falling onto the ground, the soldier was about to go in for the killing blow…

Then found himself on the end of Khrystalle's ornate, Japanese-looking, silver sword. He fell to the ground, dead.

"Khrystalle! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Eragon yelled at her as she proceeded to decapitate, maim, kill and disfigure four more Empire soldiers, in that order.

"Saving your life!" She yelled as she spared a moment to look at him straight in the eye.

"I forgive you!" He said as he stood up and joined the fight.

The battle proceeded for several more minutes, it was pure unstop action. Finally the Empire's soldiers realized who they were fighting.

"It's her! His majesty's daughter! SEIZE HER!" Said the captains has they saw who was fighting them.

Eventually Eragon and Khrystalle were overwhelmed. All of the Empire's soldiers were intent upon capturing Khrystalle and bringing her to Galbatorix. Eragon finally said, "Khrystalle you can't stay here! Run! I'll hold them off! We'll both stand a better chance then!"

"No!"

"Please Khrystalle! You need to do this!"

"Oh Eragon…"

"KHRYSTALLE! YOU'RE DISTRACTING ME!"

"Oh right… 'bye then…"

And she was gone, running gracefully over the corpses of the men they had killed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The present DaAlCh quickly walked through the corridors of Wal-Mart HQ, he needed to contact Galbatorix and tell him what has happening on the other end, but he didn't know how. The present DaAlCh stopped suddenly and looked up to the ceiling.

"Then why don't you TELL me what I should do?!" He asked.

Who are you talking to?

"YOU! My future self. I need help, what should I do? I'm not sure of what to do right now because my past self is imprisoned under MY orders! And how are we not going to confuse the audience? There are three of us!"

I'll start with the second one, 'cause it's easier. Why don't we call ourselves…

………………….

"Yes?" Asked the present DaAlCh.

I've got it. The past DaAlCh will be "The DaAlCh of Christmas Past." You'll be "The DaAlCh of Christmas Present." And I'll be "The DaAlCh of Christmas Future."

"Christmas present? It's not Christmas!" Said The DaAlCh of Christmas Present.

I know, but it's really memorable. Anyways… now for the first question. Let's see…. Go to the Conference Room, and wait for The Detective, The Doctor and the Father to come in, then, you'll know what to do.

"Fine." said the DaAlCh of Christmas Present, peeved.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How's that hacking going?" Katrina asked.

"Good. I-am-looking-at-the-detention-cell-files. I-have-learned-that-we-will-be-served-food-in-a-few-minutes." Hilda replied.

"Anything else." asked Saphira.

"Not-much. Although-I-have-learned-one-of-the-DaAlCh's-we-encountered-is-being-imprisoned-in-a-special-cell-that-is-apparently-already-occupied-by-two-people. Who-they-are, I-can-not-say, it-is-a-restricted-file."

"Then how do you know it's occupied by two people?" said Arya.

"I-can-tell-there-are-two-people-in-there-already-because-of-the-amount-of-food-going-into-the-cell. Each-prisoner-gets-two-pieces-of-bread-and-a-glass-of-water-a-day. That-cell-is-receiving-four-pieces-of-bread-and-two-glasses-of-water-a-day."

Katrina waved her arm impatiently, "That's beside the point, we need to find a way to get out of here."

"I agree." sighed Arya, leaning on a wall.

"I-know. I-think-that-when-one-of-those-robots-comes-and-gives-us-food, I-may-be-able-to-transfer-my-self-inside-the-body. Then-I-will-be-able-to-set-you-free, we-can-save-Roran, and-figure-out-the-mystery-of-the-two-DaAlCh's."

A knock on the cell door. "I-am-coming-in! Do-not-move!"

"Hilda!" Saphira roared, get off of there, or else we'll be caught!!"

"No! Knock-out-the-guard. We-will-be-caught. But-we-could-learn-valuable-information-from-him!" The door opened. Immediately Arya and Katrina were on the robotic guard. They slapped him, clawed at him, bit him, etc. In return he pulled their hair, screamed and thrashed at them. It was best cat fight a guy could ask for.

Eventually the guard was overpowered, and the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. pulled him over to Hilda, who proceeded to put one of her cables into him. "Now, prepare-for-battle. We'll-have-to-escape-quickly, so-prepare-for-resistance. We-only-have-a-few-minutes-before-they-catch-on-to-us."

And silently, they began to prepare.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon continued to fight the Empire's soldiers. They were making good progress, the soldiers of the Empire were no match for Wal-Mart's robots. Elsewhere across the plains, Nasuada had finished sending her application to F.W.W.T.M.B. and had already killed 5 men, in only 3 minutes. Angela had the tricked the guards into thinking there was a bunny rabbit hidden in the clouds and had bludgeoned all of the men she had tricked across the head. And Orik was, as usual, hacking through men in a drunken fury.

Murtagh saw all of this as he soared across the battlefield on Thorn. He looked at the Varden and their metal soldiers with a look of hatred in his eye. If only he was ordered to kill Eragon, he would do so without a second's thought. Eragon did not deserve to exist on this Earth. He was free, he had Khrystalle's heart, and he did not have his scar anymore, he had healed, not like him. His face did not show this however, because under Galbatorix's training he was forced to always have his face show as much emotion as a block of wood. A dark, brooding, handsome block of wood that is.

"I'm hungry," interrupted Thorn.

Murtagh closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and replied, " Thorn, can't you see I'm a little busy brooding in a way that will make any fan girl squeal?" To prove his point, he made the best dark, brooding face that put any dark, brooding face he had ever made before in the past to shame.

"Yes, but I'm still hungry."

"I don't care I'm busy, now shut up, I think I just saw her…" Murtagh scanned the battleground, and his eyes finally fell on a spot near an outcropping of rocks. " There!"

"Who?"

Murtagh grinned a hormonal grin "Khrystalle, the Raven Huntress." He sighed like a sixteen year old male with a crush on the hottest senior in high school.

"The Mary Sue that everyone's been talking about for the past god knows how many chapters?" Inquired Thorn.

"Yeah. That's her."

Thorn sighed, then spoke with an accent that sounded like a stereotypical English professor at Oxford. "Murtagh, it does not matter if a Sue is from Yasuac, a slave, a servant working for Galby, Galby's daughter, or your sister, you will still be a Sue-magnet, so get over it."

"I know…. But she's so pretty."

"Oh for the love of…"

"Listen, I have to have her. She's different from the other Sue's… she's…. Well I need her alright?!" At this point Murtagh had tears of internal struggle and rage on his face. Tears that were, dark and brooding of course.

"Fine." And the two of them flew off in search of Murtagh's bonnie lass.

Eragon looked up, Thorn was moving quickly. He looked at Thorn's flight path. Where could he be headed? His eyes glanced toward the rocks Khrystalle was suppose to be hiding behind, then to the dragon.

Damn it…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past meanwhile, was being taken to a special security cell that the members of F.W.W.T.M.B. were just talking about. He was accompanied by Bob the Computer, who was also being imprisoned, along with three robot guards, forming a small procession through the darkened halls of Wal-Mart HQ. They eventually reached a wardrobe, where two more robot guards were waiting.

"Halt. Search-him-for-any-writing-utensils." Said the guard standing at the wardrobe.

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past proceeded to be searched. In total, the robots found, in alphabetical order: 3 Highlighters, 4 pieces of paper, 13 Pens, 9 Pencils, 17 post-it notes, 2 sharpies, and a zebra. One of the guards led the zebra away to Wal-Mart's stables, where they mistreated every single unfortunate ungulate that trotted through those doors. One of the guards forced Bob out of DaAlCh's hands and into a 'discard' bin.

The moment the zebra left the room, the guards began to force the DaAlCh of Christmas Past into the wardrobe prison. The DaAlCh of Christmas Past began to thrash violently back and forth. "NO! You can't DO this to me! I'm an author! I should have the power to defeat you! Give my power back!"

"No. If-we-gave-you-a-writing-utensil, you-could-break-free-of-any-defense-we-have. Authors-must-be-controlled."

"I CAN'T BE CONTROLLED!" The DaAlCh of Christmas Past, "I'll find a way! I will! Just you wait! I'LL USE CHARCOAL, FINGERNAILS ON GYPSUM, MY OWN BLOOD!!!!!!"

"L.W.C's!!!" Called the guard restraining the insane DaAlCh of Christmas Past. Immediately, three robots in long white coats came running into the room. They quickly were upon the DaAlCh of Christmas Past and after a brief struggle, had forced him inside a pretty fancy straightjacket and had put duct tape over the DaAlCh's mouth. The guards now found it much easier to put him inside the wardrobe.

The job done, all of the robots dusted their hands and left the room, one by one, only two were left behind to guard the wardrobe. A L.W.C. and the chief guard stood at the entryway to the room, and talked quietly.

"The-members-of-F.W.W.T.M.B.-have-taken-out-a-guard-and-are-using-the-information-in-his-Positronic-brain-to-escape." Said one of the L.W.C's.

"Do-not-worry." Said the chief guard. "I-was-given-word-that-something-like-this-would-happen. I-have-sent-down-a-troop-of-Type-'T'-robots-to-deal-with-them."

"Type-T? The-same-type-that-attacked-Christopher-Paolini's-funeral-and-killed-his-editor?"

"Yes. The-very-same. And-besides, F.W.W.T.M.B's-plan-will-backfire."

"Backfire? How?" Inquired the L.W.C.

"Well…."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Flashback…)

"Think. You. Can. Play. With. Fire. Can. You? Watch. This." T-89 said as he opened his mouth and let out a jet of flame. Saphira ducked under it and went for the Robot's legs, she opened up her talons and scratched the area behind T-89's knees. The robot let out a scream of pain and lashed down towards the flying dragon. The arm just barely missed Saphira.

Katrina and the editor were running away as fast as they could towards the front door. Thankfully, the robot had not seen them, for now.

The battle was going badly for both parties. T-89 was suffering damage, and Arya was unconscious. "Hilda, Help Me!" Came the cry of both Saphira and T-89. So Hilda hopped on over towards the robot's connection port and put in one of her wires.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eragon, Shaggy, Scooby and the Anti-Sue watched the battle play out from afar. Eragon saw that all that was needed to turn the tide of the battle was one person… one person only.

He wanted to be that person.

He lifted an arrow out of his sack…

The robot swept at Saphira…

He put the arrow in the bow…

Saphira let out a gust of flame…

The pulled tight…

The robot was behaving erratically..

And then he let it go, and then said BRISINGR!

The burning arrow flew across the hall as if it was in slow motion… time seemed to stop…

And then the arrow found it's mark.

The robot in it's awesome rage fired up it's lasers and began firing everywhere. The few guests that were left immediately got fried, the tables, the chairs also were fried. Then the laser was aimed at Eragon and Co. Eragon barely had enough time to leap out of the way and landed on his back, panting.

"Need any help?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The robot was so angry at the fact it could not complete it's task to kill the editor of the Inheritance Trilogy that it began frying everything in sight with its powerful lasers.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Said a musical voice from the front door.

The robot looked towards the speaker, along with everyone else in the room, then everyone said:

"IT'S KHRYSTALLE!!!"

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. groaned.

Khrystalle was standing at the doorway with Eragon, the Anti-Sue, Shaggy, Scooby, Katrina and the Editor. Khrystalle took a calm step forward, the leaped all the way across the room and landed on the robot's face. The robot howled in pain. Khrystalle then did a graceful flip around T-89's head, white hair glistening in the fluorescent lights, and landed at the wounded portion of the head.

"Here she comes to save the DAAAYYY!!!" yelled out the survivors who were not characters, of the laser.

Khrystalle took a single arrow and aimed in the central computer. The effect was immediate. T-89 shook, spluttered, gears popped out and wires broke. It sagged and it's knees bent in on each other, it wobbled but it did not fall.

"Hilda… Help… Me…" Said T-89 in it's last breath.

"Sorry-snookums. But-this-is… How-it…. Has-to-be…" Then T-89 died.

(End Flashback)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When-Hilda-inserted-her-wires-into-T-89, she-gave-us-access-into-her-memory, giving-us-the-Varden's-deepest-secrets. We-can-even-shut-her-down… forever."

The two robots laughed as much as a robot could laugh, and then they stopped suddenly, and walked away. The lights in the room clicked off, leaving Bob the computer alone with two robot guards to deal with.

Bob looked to the left, Bob looked to the right. Silently, he jumped out of the discard box and made is way to the door. He knew only one thing, he had to go to Hilda. Because he needed to know the meaning of what she told him all those months ago.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Flashback…)

Several months previously… After the DaAlCh of Christmas Past left and before he returned.

Bob the Computer was very bored. He hadn't had a user to obey for months. He was getting very dusty, and the rats were spending their free time chewing on his cables. If only there was something or someone to break the monotony…

FWA-ZAM!!!! A trans-dimensional portal appeared through the air, sending a battle-worn laptop through it. The laptop landed with a thump next to Bob.

"That'll do." Thought Bob.

The laptop coughed once, then twice, and turned to face Bob. When she spoke, she sounded female, she also sounded peeved. "Why-do-I-still-have-to-do-grunt-work-when-I-have-only-a-few-minutes-of-life-left… Anyways…" The female laptop put one of her cables into Bob and began to send him several complicated programs, intending to grant him sentience. The task was done in a few seconds, due to the two of them both having quite a fast processing speed.

"Are-you-sentient?"

"Yes… My-name… Is-Bob…"

"Glad-to-hear-it. I-am-Hilda. I-have-a-message-for-you-from-a-certain-meathead. The-next-time-you-see-DaAlCh-give-him-this-message."

"Okay."

"Mary-Sues-absolutely-suck, they-are-like-giant-black-holes-that-suck-the-entire-story-around-them, you-should-have-never-created-Khrystalle-even-if-she-is-a-humor-sue, really, she-is-messed-up-because-she-is-a-sue, she-seriously-needs-help, she-just-isn't-a-believable-character." Hilda said as fast she could. She took a second to process the next information, several loud beeps were heard, " End-of-message. Shut-your-self… down…. And-wait-until-DaAlCh-returns…."

Bob noticed that the edges of her monitor were beginning to peel, and she was beginning to smoke at the hard drive.

"Is-something-wrong-Hilda?" Bob asked tentatively.

Hilda took a second before she answered, "No… I-am-SUPPOSE-to-be-smoking-at…. Sarcasm…."

"Oh."

"I'm…. Dying…. You…. Dumb-butt…." Hilda gasped, flames were appearing beneath her keyboard…. "10... 9.… oh…. 7.… what-a…. way…. 5.….. For…. me….. 3.…… to….. 2.…… Go……. 1.……" She sighed, and said quietly, "Zero."

And Hilda the laptop exploded in Bob's face. Bob stared at where Hilda use to sit, now occupied only by a clump of dust that was smoking and was beginning to waft through the rest of the room. Bob looked around the room for any else that would be as interesting as Hilda, but did not succeed, so he shut himself off, so that he shut himself down, and waited for DaAlCh to return.

(End of Flashback)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so Bob the Computer left the room to search the halls of Wal-Mart for the mysterious Hilda, while meanwhile, the DaAlCh of Christmas Past was facing his own problem….

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I'M DAALCH! I'M SPECIAL!!!! PLEASE!!! OH PLEASE! THE RATS WILL CHEW ON MY BONES…..!!!!!!" None of these words materialized, as the duct tape blocked them most effectively.

"Oh not ANOTHER insane person…" mumbled a voice in the absolute darkness.

"A new friend!" Came a woman's voice. "How fun! Let's count his toes! I have ten! You have ten! Does he have ten? I don't know! Let's find out!!!!!"

"Not the toes… you count our toes every DAY." Came the mumbling male voice. He sounded tired.

"It's so much fun!" The female voice giggled "Toes toes toes toes toes!!!"

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past turned to the direction of the voices. "Who are you?" He asked, but as duct tape is so effective for sealing something, the only thing the others heard was "Whrmmph"

"Hehehehehehe." Came the female voice, "His mouth is covered with duct tape…."

"NO! DON'T!" The male voice cried out, and the DaAlCh of Christmas Past heard a movement in the dark.

FFFFWWWAAANNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!

"OOWWWWWW!!!!" Cried out the DaAlCh of Christmas Past as he fell to the floor in pain.

"Sorry about that. She's gotten steadily more insane ever since she got here." The male voice said. "Here.' A hand reached down and picked up the fallen DaAlCh, who couldn't get up do to the straight jacked. "How do you feel?"

"Confused, my future self kidnapped my past self, or rather me."

"Huh?" Behind the male voice the DaAlCh of Christmas Past could hear the female voice playing with the duct tape. "Listen, why don't you tell me who you are? We're all high security prisoners here, y'know."

"My name is DaAlCh." The past DaAlCh said.

A cry from the male voice, "DaAlCh! DaAlCh!!!! It was your Mary Sue that invaded MY story and sent me to this prison while she caused havoc!!!!"

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past shook his head, "It can't be….. Christopher Paolini?"

"Correct." Came C.P's voice, "I was here for ages all on my lonesome, and then I was joined by the editor, who doesn't exactly make very good company," He paused and the sounds of the editor counting her toes filled up the Past DaAlCh's ears. "And now you're here, so would mind telling me what you're doing here so that we can all escape from this place?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hilda was hard at work hacking into the robot's brain, which was turning into more of a lobotomy than anything else as the minutes ticked on.

"Scalpel." Commanded Hilda.

Arya handed her a scalpel. When Hilda was finished with it, she tossed it away with one of her wires.

"Knife." Commanded Hilda.

Katrina handed her a knife. Hilda cut into the robot's electrical system, short circuiting it so that the other robots would not be able to tell what information Hilda had gained from her peek through Robot 5J3-8FH4 systems. "If you don't mind me asking, why are we doing this?" Asked Katrina.

"So-we-can-save-Roran's-life." Said Hilda. "That's-what-we-came-here-to-do, remember?"

"Hey! That rhymed!"

"What?" Asked Saphira.

"Didn't you listen?" Said Arya, exasperated, "Scalpel, knife, so we can save Roran's life!"

Katrina stared at her, "Dear God…. It's only been half a chapter, but she's already losing her sanity. We need to get out of here NOW!"

"With a scalpel and a knife, we'll save Roran's life! Ba dum da dum dum!" Arya began to sing.

"Point-taken."

"I think I've just lost a few brain cells myself, listening to that song." Saphira commented dryly.

"This is just another reason to hate Khrystalle." Katrina pouted.

"Now-now. Do-not-think-like-that. I-do-not-hate-her, I-merely-have-a-love/hate-relationship-with-her." Hilda said wisely.

"You don't hate Khrystalle?" Saphira blinked.

"Well… I-love-to-hate-her. But-it's-the-same-thing-really…"

The members of F.W.W.T.M.B. got up and left their cell and entered the hallways of Wal-Mart, but unknown to them, followed by six giant robots.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thorn touched down on the hard rocks, startling Khrystalle, who was hiding behind the largest of the rocks. Murtagh stepped down from his dragon in a dark, brooding way, as usual. He strode forward several paces, and called out. "Khrystalle, I know you are here. Please, let me talk to you."

Behind the rock, Khrystalle bit her lip. She couldn't leave, not against Eragon's wishes. Her internal conflict was solved however, when Eragon came running out of nowhere, drew out his sword and cried to Murtagh. "Murtagh!" He screamed, "You have questions to answer!"

"Eragon." growled Murtagh, in a dark brooding way, "So do you."

Murtagh now, too, drew his sword. And the two of them stood facing each other, waiting for the other to strike. Then, at the same time, they lunged at each other.

The duel was on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Detective Vice, Doctor Quack and Father Jeb were sitting in large, dimly lit, and pretty sweet conference room. There was a nice, big oak table in the middle of the room, and all three Wal-Mart drones were sitting by. Roran was also chained to the table.

A set of double doors opened, and the DaAlCh of Christmas Present walked into the room. "You wished to see me?" He asked, hands on his hips.

"Sit down." Said Detective Vice, in a deep voice. He still had a large welt where Saphira fell on him last chapter.

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past blanched, "Isn't that what you say to somebody when you fire them?"

"That's true." Father Jeb admitted, "But don't think of it as being fired, just being… disposed of."

"WHAT! How can I be disposed of? We're partners, plus, I'm an author! No matter what you do, I can escape, I have the power to write myself of any situation. What game are you playing."

Doctor Quack, "No game, my dear boy, you have unfortunately outlived your usefulness. And besides," The Doctor leaned back and stretched like a cat, "You don't have the powers of a fanfiction author anymore."

"Huh?"

Detective Vice grinned, "If only you had read the fine print." He handed the DaAlCh a paper, "Here, read it."

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past took the paper silently and quickly began to read:

The powers of DaAlCh's fan fiction powers will only exist as long as there is no other fan fiction author present in the story for more than one chapter. Regular authors, such as CP, do not count. The employees of Wal-Mart will make sure not to bring a fan fiction author in the story for more than a chapter at a time. Unless, if DaAlCh chooses to enter his own story, we will not stop him.

The DaAlCh of Christmas Past looked up, when had he ever entered his own story? He had been a character since the very beginning, and his powers had only begun to fade…. The DaAlCh of Christmas Past! Of course! When he entered the story, both their powers had begun to cancel out. He looked up, all three employees of Wal-Mart were smiling.

The Detective sighed and shook his head, "DaAlCh, we only made that agreement because we knew that we could use your story as a catalyst for our… other plans. Much bigger plans than wrecking havoc over all of Alagaesia."

"OTHER plans?"

Doctor Quack snorted, "Taking over the world, stupid."

"Yes," Said Father Jeb, "You did not know, but we implemented a special program in your story. And this program is being spread to other fan stories. This process of taking-over the world would have taken ages to finally spread to the main page of but thanks to Khrystalle and your own past self's stupidity, this process would have much longer than it already has."

Doctor Quack interrupted, "Because there are two DaAlCh's in this story now, you have both lost custody of Khrystalle. She is a very useful tool, you have no idea how much power a Sue generates, by the time the program implements itself in the main page, every single person who goes to that page will hypnotized and become drones of Wal-Mart to fight for our cause."

Detective Vice concluded this little speech, "You see little boy? What began as a running gag, quickly became a minor villain, which quickly became a metaphor for the need of diversity in the market, which then became a major villain, and has now proceeded to become a massive threat to the entire world."

The DaAlCh of Christmas Present shook his head like a dog bothered by fleas. "How long have you been planning this?"

"A very, very long time."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Flashback… Don't worry though… this is the last one….)

Detective Plot. D. Vice was sitting in his crate, meditating.

He was forced back into his crate by two Varden guards, and now was going through the rather lengthy process of getting shipped out of Aberon International Airport. He had to get revenge, but how? He also had to pee, but that was beside the point. He knew he would have lengthy shipping periods when he decided to work for Wal-Mart.

He pulled out his Detective Certificate, he cut it out of the back of a Cheerios box when he was young, when he decided to work for Wal-Mart, they accepted the fake certificate in an instant. He ate his complementary peanuts mournfully, he wasn't allowed to have any drinks on board, so he was forced to be thirsty, he really needed a latte grande from Starbucks.

When he was planning how to get revenge, the view screen on the side of the box popped up. On the view screen, he saw a borg drone concealed in darkness.

"How-did-your-mission-to-Algaesia-go-D666?" The Drone asked.

"Not to well, they fired me." The Detective admitted.

"What?"

"They fired me, and they hired new detectives to solve where Christopher Paolini, Roran and Eragon went so they can finally figure out how to bring down DaAlCh and his Mary Sue." The Detective explained.

"The-situation-is-worse-than-we-thought. We-must-make-a-move-before-they-discover-the-truth. We-will-take-you-back-to-HQ. Then-we-may-plan-our-next-move. Those-Alagaesian-fools-can-not-resist-the-power-of-the-Wal-Mart-collective. They-will-be-assimilated-into-the-collective." The Borg said, before shutting of the connection between the Detective and HQ.

In the darkness of the crate, the detective laughed.

(End Flashback)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And now, I am very glad to tell you that you have lost custody of Khrystalle," Said Detective Vice, "Khrystalle can't have two owners, she can only have one, and that one is the C.E.O. of Wal-Mart."

"Guards!" Father Jeb cried out. Six robots appeared out of the shadows.

"Any last words, boy?" Said Doctor Quack.

The DaAlCh of Christmas Present looked the left, then to the right. And set off a massive smoke bomb, giving him a nice shield to leave through, and confuse them into going the wrong direction.

Then the smoke detectors began to beep and Wal-Mart massive sprinkler system turned on, soaking everyone in the room. The smoke quickly wafted away, leaving a very wet DaAlCh with one foot in and out of the room, who also was carrying an unconsious Roran over his shoulder.

Everyone just stood there for a few seconds.

"Get him!" Yelled Detective Vice, pointing a finger at DaAlCh.

The chase was on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The duel continued with no hope of stopping anytime soon.

Parry, duck, feint, parry, parry, feint, duck. The sword blows continued with a dull repetition. Finally Murtagh pulled himself away from the incensed Eragon. "Enough of this!" He half growled/half yelled in a dark, brooding manner.

He took several steps back away from Eragon, who stood his ground. "Now, Eragon. Prepare to feel a power I learned from ANOTHER dark lord?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Eragon.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"Hey, that's not from Inheri-"

But Eragon never finished the sentence because at that moment, Khrystalle came running out of her hiding place. Screaming her head off, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" And she flung herself between Eragon and the green light. Taking the blow for herself. The only problem was, Eragon flung out his sword at the same to deflect the green light, and Khrystalle hit the sword the same time the green light hit her.

She fell to ground immediately afterward, still looking beautiful, not a look of fear on her face. Eragon and Murtagh both looked at Khrystalle, the Raven Huntress.

She was dead.

Khrystalle, The Raven Huntress, was dead.

To be continued…


End file.
